A checkers board of a week; humour required in spade fulls and yes, I’m still grouting….

Meltdown one meal time with the little ones, rapidly descending into chaos –
Thoughts of lacing my cup of tea with alcohol sadly dismissed as inappropriate.

Muddy paw prints all over a fresh white duvet cover on my newly made bed –
A challenge for a well known brand of washing powder and my patience.

Being greeted by howls of dismay upon collecting the little ones from nursery which is quite a walk away –
Yes, Mummy said they could ride their bikes that day but she meant at home as wheeling two bikes to nursery is not an option.

Falling asleep to the sound of Owls at night and being awoken at 5am by Woody the Woodpecker –
His ‘mating call’ is now hammering hell out of my chimney casing and my love of nature is severely dented.

A message for the newsagents that we visit every Friday “Please replenish your stock of Club Penguin cards” –
Otherwise I may be forced to let you deal with the fallout from a laddie who was disappointed for the third week in a row.

Ending the week cross-eyed with tiredness due to daytime challenges and every evening being booked up –
Must remember to have a word with my diary co-ordinator and withdraw chocolate benefits.

A round of applause to our local council for keeping the streets and car parks swept and clean –
A brickbat for thinking that 6.30am on a Sunday morning is a good time to do our area.

Do not even think of mentioning mosaic tiling or grouting…….I’m sure I’m developing a twitch.


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