The idea that there is a perfect time to do things could well be an illusion……you just have to push on through….

The last few weeks have been marked by my inability to get a single drop of colour on the very large canvas in our studio. I can see in my mind’s eye the image that I wish to portray and it is unlike anything I have done before and I have nothing to guide me, but there are orders coming in for the version I have successfully ‘talked up’ as inspiration hit about a month ago. It’s that ol’ devil fear that I am not good enough to pull it off raising his unwelcome head again.

Em has smiled at me every time I have emerged from the studio and she enquires how I am getting on; ‘The base coat is drying nicely’ has been my only comment.

Five base coats later and I spent the last weekend going back in there frequently with a cup of tea and standing in front of this well base coated canvas only to emerge again with the canvas still blank and tackle yet another household task. They were very important tasks!!

The breakthrough occured yesterday when the sun was shining and Em was happily painting away. I tucked up in a corner and in the spare half an hour I had before the school run commenced I drew a pencil drawing of what I could see so clearly in my head. I didn’t stop to think I just did it and I have never been good at drawing.

Em ‘high fived’ the result as it was recognisable as the mystical goddess I am now going to go into the studio and put the first drops of colour on.

Are there other things I should be doing? Yes probably.
Is the sun shining? No it isn’t.
Is the timing perfect? Probably not.

I can feel the rising of my ‘Oh bollocks to it factor’ and my goodness how I have missed that feeling lately.


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Jane Sturgeon

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