Humour needed and an instruction manual or flags!

Over the last few days I have been chatting to my Mum about relationships and the views that different generations hold about them. My Mum’s generation feel that you are better within a relationship as this balances life and it protects you. I hold the view that I will not have a relationship just for the sake of having one and I can manage life on my own rather than having the imbalance of living with a set-up that is out of kilter for one or both of us.

To lighten the conversation this afternoon I remembered something from way back when and it made me chuckle and then I came up with an idea….see what you think…..

When I was married I had many a friend who fancied my husband and we used to joke that if we ever parted then he would have a queue of them lining up to look after him (funnily enough this is exactly what happened). I ended this particular line of banter by saying that I would send him out there with his instruction manual and I was sure he would be returned within 24 hours!

This gave me an idea and it would work for both men and women; we could have a flag system similar to the warning flags they have on our beaches. For example; only paddling advised, safe to swim, slight current, strong swimmers only or go in at your peril. How simple this would make things for us single folk, but it raises all sorts of questions on who would be impartial enough to do the assessing.

Comments welcome and I’ll give a free reading to the person with the best one.


4 Responses to “Humour needed and an instruction manual or flags!”

  1. 1 Sarah October 11, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Going with the sea and swimming theme Jane you could rely on the sea. Chuck a man into the sea, if he floats he would be a goddie and if he sinks then you know he would be no good and washed away. Not that I have ever tried. Or another idea would be to rely on the instincts of your pets they are usually good at picking up on good and positive people x


    • 2 Jane Baker October 12, 2011 at 7:52 pm

      Sarah – I love you…it’s a bit like ducking witches in the village pond as they did in the middle ages isn’t it – if they were innocent they drowned and if they didn’t they hung them!!! xx


  2. 3 Hayley October 11, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Intuition is a wonderful thing, so long as we have grown to trust it (and I really do believe that to be intuitive is a learning process), then we are protected. However… when we are embroiled in the pangs of romance or when the butterflies begin to flutter we can become less able to see clearly! For this reason, good friends, ones who will be honest and/or impartial, are imperative. Not for the decision making but certainly for confirmation of what you are feeling already.
    I love your warning flag idea. I apply similar for friends (except it is a traffic light ‘no go area’ technique – red, amber, green) when they are house-hunting close by.
    Dating though, is slightly more a matter of the heart and so… perhaps a little wink, a nod and a gentle hug could be all that’s needed.
    When you know, you know! I used to have a mental tick chart when dating but now I have met ‘the one’ and there was no tick chart required. I instinctively knew! There is a twinkle… and when it shines, it’s right AND bright! xxx


    • 4 Jane Baker October 12, 2011 at 7:57 pm

      Hi Hayley – I agree with you about intuition we learn and hone it as we grow. I’m not sure about advice from good friends though, it really does depend on their impartiality. You made me laugh with your flag idea on friends and their house hunting. On the dating front I can confirm that when it’s right…you know, you know in seconds…the twinkle does indeed shine very bright indeed. You have won by the way, congratulations, my email address is ‘’ so please contact me and we can organise a face to face or an absent one for you, whichever is easier for you. Take care Jane x


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