Guilt, being hard on yourself and when life absolves you from blame for not knowing the answer…

A good friend commented this week that I was far too hard on myself and took way too much responsibility for others actions. I think we all do this to a certain extent as we change our thinking and wrap our brains around the belief that we create our own daily reality through our thoughts and actions and are therefore responsible for what manifests in our daily round. It is the notion that we are in some way responsible for how others behave, that in some way we must have attracted it, that I dispute. Also, when inanimate objects break down, malfunction and generally misbehave and we end up battling our way through a day it leaves us with the thought…’Now what actions or thinking have I done to create this little lot?’

Firstly, we are not responsible for others actions and as for attracting it to us, well that is just nonsense, utter nonsense, you’ll end up with the weight of the world on your shoulders if you go down that route. We are responsible for how we react to it and how we handle any situation that may arise.

As for inanimate objects …. well lately a good few things have been going wrong in my world and in my friends. Another good friend is having a really tricky time with her car and she understandably has been upset by this. What has come from it however, is some good things. Her friends who live nearby have all rallied round and offered help and lifts for children etc.. and it has been good to see. Another comforting thing that has come from it sprung from a conversation that Em and I had in the middle of last night when some muppet let off fireworks at 3.30am and woke us both up. We chatted quietly in the dark talking about the lassie whose car is playing up and how she is always cheerful and uplifting for others, but her car problems had ‘got’ to her. Em pointed out that I am usually cheerful and yet yesterday after a few challenges had hit (and probably built up in the preceeding weeks) I came in from the workshop last night with tears tracking down the sawdust on my face. The comforting thought was that you can’t always be cheerful; you can acknowledge that you are doing the best that you can at any given moment, you can trust that the universe is carrying you along and all is as it should be but you are allowed to have some ‘down’ time. You can be quiet, reflective, stop to re-charge your batteries, rant a bit, cry, vent it out to loved ones and do whatever you need to do to restore your balance.

Sometimes stuff just happens and we are not responsible for it and we certainly didn’t create it, we just roll with it and do the best we can and send love right back to the loved ones who are there when we dip.

Don’t feel guilty or responsible…let the love and support and the small (but very significant) good things that happen buoy you up again, as this is life’s way of absolving you from blame.

Or…..we can always beat hell out of the inanimate object (go Oh Sparkly One) dear Fawlty Towers x


2 Responses to “Guilt, being hard on yourself and when life absolves you from blame for not knowing the answer…”

  1. 1 public records florida November 21, 2011 at 1:45 am

    One of my all time favorite quotes appears very fitting here “Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure.”–Jim Rohn


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