‘Life’s lessons’…why oh why does this phrase instantly make me feel like rebelling?

I understand that we are always learning, questing, moving forwards and continuing to search for answers, but why do we call certain things ‘life’s lessons’? I can remember back in my teens and twenties when anyone said to me that something was ‘character building’ I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I wasn’t going to enjoy it one little bit. I feel the same way about the phrase ‘life’s lessons’ as it smacks of censure and there is implied criticism lurking in there somewhere that you’ve made a mistake. It’s just like school and I spent an extraordinary amount of time rebelling against various educational establishments, politely apparently, but rarely without incident!

A different way of looking at this is that we don’t deliberately set out to make mistakes and so long as we hold good in our hearts there is no ‘right’ way of doing things. I have yet to meet an expert at life.

We are all gaining in experience and wisdom as we weave through our daily rounds so how about we call it ‘tweaking’?

There are a variety of things I will do today and some require ‘tweaking’ before they will run smoothly.

When I hear or see the phrase ‘tweaking’ I smile.

14 Responses to “‘Life’s lessons’…why oh why does this phrase instantly make me feel like rebelling?”

  1. 1 granbee January 9, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    Jane, welcome to following my blog. I am anxious to start receiving feedback comments from you. I will be posting again late this p.m. I enjoyed reading your “dating” posts following this post and your blogger award posts (congrats!) but the system I am currently on will not allow full access to anything beginning with “dating” apparently. Netgear security settings to prevent online misbehaviors, I suppose. Anyway, I so much regret your horrible experience with those ultra-possessive (and you barely knew them) types. See, those guys have a lot to hide, or they would not want to claim you so early on. Gee, I got invited out to dinner a lot because I always met men after they had viewed me as “a church lady”. That is what we do here in the American South! Not a bad tactic, if I say so myself. And we just eat together here, no matter the occasion. A cousin of mine once spilled potato salad all over my embalmed great-grandmother as she lay in her coffin at the “old homeplace”, the custom for wakes as recently as the 1960s in Mississippi. So you can see why we learned early on how to handle all sorts of truly weird and unexpected conversations over food. My dating advice: if you cannot meet potential dates in church, meet them either at the library, an outdoor community festival sharing enjoyment of the same types of displays, the theatre, an art museum, at the gym, at a political rally, while performing volunteer work. Go with a group of like-minded folk to grab coffee (or a cuppa) after whichever event. See who you spark with, who you find easiest to talk you. Take it from this Steel Magnolia of a Southern grandmother: you gotta approach men sideways! P.S. AND NEVER, EVER ride anywhere with someone (either sex) you know very little about who already knows exactly where you live and when you are likely to be home–like those repairmen/service men types!


    • 2 Jane Thorne January 9, 2012 at 5:58 pm

      Hello Granbee what a great name and thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my post in such a caring way, it is lovely of you. I am referring back to two years ago with these dating posts and my last post on this subject (Friday this week) will explain where I am right now. I like to think that as a loving southerly Steel Magnolia Grandmother you will approve of what I’m upto now…I hope so. Coming out of a long marriage I had a lot to learn and I took the knocks on the chin and gained in experience..there were some fun bits but not nearly as many as there should have been. I found your blog through Eric Alagan http://ericalaganfanclub.wordpress.com/, another lovely soul, and I am glad I did…your posts show a warm and loving soul…here’s to a very long and happy blogging time for us all x


  2. 3 Grandfathersky January 3, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    It’s a nice thought, but could be mus-construed with ‘tweeker’ as in ‘The Salton Sea’. don’t watch it unless you have a strong constitution.
    But to the heart of what you are saying It’s not a Life Lesson – life IS lessons, there are not some moments that are, and some that are just – well ‘life’, everything is lessons … yes?


    • 4 Jane Thorne January 3, 2012 at 8:28 pm

      Aahh Grandfathersky it’s the word lessons that does it for me or not, definately not actually…life is life as you say, but I don’t see life as lessons I see it as a time to discover our true pathway. Everyone has a unique talent to bring forth and each life is about finding that pathway with hope and good held in their hearts, as we are all connected to each other and ultimately to source. Thank you for your thought provoking comment and no, I haven’t seen ‘The Salton Sea’…not my cup of tea. Take care, Jane


  3. 5 Angela January 3, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    I know what you mean about the term ‘life lessons’, Jane. I now use the term ‘remembering’. ‘Lessons’ feels like we’re being punished, or put through something to make us realise how wrong we were. I do feel there’s an element of truth in this, as I think this is what life (being pushed through the veil) is about, but the semantics are not really right in what the words portray. I feel we have all the wisdom in our souls and an inherent ability to connect to the wisdom of Source energy/Universal ancient wisdom (or whatever you want to call it). So, I like to say I’m experiencing something that helps me remember my true self.. a reminder. 🙂

    Nice post! 🙂


    • 6 Jane Thorne January 3, 2012 at 7:32 pm

      Angela what a lovely comment and so very true. I have a card on my wall that says ‘If you knew who walks beside you at all times, on the pathway that you have chosen, you could never feel fear or doubt again’. I really like your phrase ‘beng pushed through the veil’ and I am also grateful for the blogging community that draws like minded souls together, we gather so much from each other. Thank you for taking the time to read my post – Jane


  4. 7 Christine Moran January 3, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Hi Jane, “Tweaking” will suit me fine!

    I rebelled at school establishments and the dreaded “church”. I think I still rebelled when my children were at school always taking their side! I would like to think I am capable of acting in a childlike way these days rather than a childish one but sometimes I’m not so sure! *Sigh at self* 🙂

    Growing up can be painful but with “tweaks” I am getting there.

    I am glad I visited your blog; I am going to follow it.



    • 8 Jane Thorne January 3, 2012 at 5:41 pm

      Hello Christine, what a lovely comment and thank you for visiting. May we all retain our ‘childlike’ qualities and I have a ‘tweak scale’ that gets used every day, it’s just the level that varies! I am glad we are following each other as we get to chat then…take care, Jane


  5. 9 1smiles January 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    One of my favorite books is titled, “Life Lessons”, it’s by Elisabeth Kubler Ross. It’s very empowering and encouraging.
    I do like Life Tweaking though. I’m very big at tweaking!


    • 10 Jane Thorne January 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

      I feel you may be a better pupil than I Jeannie!! I have heard of this book…one of the books I’m currently reading is ‘Scripts People Live’ by Claude Steiner which is a great read and I suspect a life changing book (my brother bought it for me for my birthday x).

      As for tweaking..that can range from a slight adjustment to a major overhaul – I think I’m in slight tweak mode!


  6. 11 thepoeticgoblin January 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

    I couldn’t help but to smile when you wrote about “character building” activities instantly triggering the “Oh my, this is going to be boring!”-response.

    Enjoyed it!


  7. 13 Eric Alagan January 3, 2012 at 10:38 am

    Life’s tweaks?
    Works for me 🙂


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