The Dating Game………Story Number One….

I have thought about how to approach these stories from a kind angle as I have no wish to cause upset or harm, so I have decided to refer to each ‘date’ by their profession and also, upon consideration, I do not think any of the men concerned will be reading this blog. It also occurs to me that folk rarely recognise themselves through another’s eyes, so everything taken into account and with my new name added to the mix…here we go.

Story Number One

I am running the risk of offending a large section of the corporate world but I need to be honest to tell this story properly. I have a chequered history with HR personnel (to say we clash would be an understatement) so when an HR Consultant asked me out for a drink my first thought was ‘No, thank you’, however, this offer came in my early dating days, with tools not yet sharpened adequately, so I said ‘Yes’.

We met at a quaint village pub with lights twinkling in the murky winter gloom and it looked very welcoming. Drinks duly ordered Mr HR had trouble settling on a suitable place for us to sit and I assure you that this pub was not on the large side. I followed him for a few seating forays, our drinks being taken back to the bar each time, before I suggested that I stay at the bar till he found the right spot. This took twenty minutes, yes at least twenty, and I was rapidly losing patience whilst standing at the bar and there was also a small amount of mental kicks occuring that I had not listened to my instincts and said no in the first place.

We were eventually seated and we started to talk, well Mr HR did and I listened. After about a quarter of an hour had passed he took his diary out of his jacket pocket and started to flick through the pages……

Jane “What are you looking for?”

Mr HR “I am looking for a suitable opening”

Jane “An opening for what?”

Mr HR “Well I think this has gone well”

Jane “Do you really?” I frowned as I said this and that’s not good at my age.

Mr HR and listening skills definately did not go hand in hand and I think there was also a distinct lack of empathy with his fellow man and what was happening around him.

Mr HR “Yes, I think next time we can have dinner and sleep together, we’re not getting any younger and there’s no point in wasting time is there?”

Very, very brief pause…..

Jane “If you wish to locate your testicles near your tonsils then do carry on”

Silence from Mr HR…..aaahh I thought, he is finally getting it.

I wished him well and left the pub and my hint and tip from this one is always go in separate cars so a fast getaway is possible.

My mobile rang about three months later…….

Mr HR “Jane how are you?”

Jane “Hello, why are you calling me?”

Mr HR “Because you are a decent woman”

Peals of laughter from my end and a quick retort of ‘Oh do go away’.


18 Responses to “The Dating Game………Story Number One….”

  1. 1 flatcap January 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    you do make me chuckle sauce pot, from mr sophisticated


  2. 3 lostupabove January 7, 2012 at 7:03 am

    You were lucky Jane he was on the slow side and only wanted to sleep with you the second time. Some want to do that ( and that only) immediately.. I loved the story and you are right, he will not be reading this. Too busy chasing women.


  3. 5 thomag1 January 6, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Way to go Jane…..


  4. 7 1smiles January 6, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Oh Jane… once I stopped laughing and nodding my head in agreement, I have to say.. JOB WELL DONE!!!


    • 8 Jane Thorne January 6, 2012 at 6:25 pm

      Hello Jeannie…if only it was a one off…thank goodness for humour and a philosophical take on life..I may yet get to write a humourous take on the text proposal…big hugs to you 😀


  5. 11 elenacaravela January 6, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    Fun story ( sorry you had to live through it) This line in particular, rang so very true…“Do you really?” I frowned as I said this and that’s not good at my age”

    Looking forward to more!


    • 12 Jane Thorne January 6, 2012 at 3:23 pm

      Hi Elena, I have learnt a lot over the last few years and my humour remains in tact, thank goodness and I think overall I am a triumph of hope over experience!! Glad you liked it, as I love your blog and artwork. I think you are seriously talented – take care Jane x


  6. 13 Christine Moran January 6, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Hi Jane,

    OMG!! – My dating days were well over and done with a long time ago! I can’t believe there are actually people out there like this!! I can see it very easily in a sitcom or drama where we say “Of course it’s exaggerated or couldn’t possibly happen in real life” – obviously it can!

    I am really going to enjoy these!! Love this one!


    Christine xx


    • 14 Jane Thorne January 6, 2012 at 1:38 pm

      Hello Christine, you are so kind and I promise humour has been needed on more than one occasion! Thanks so much for taking the time to read it…Love Jane xx


  7. 15 Eric Alagan January 6, 2012 at 11:14 am

    What a moron…If I were a gal, I would have kicked him where it hurts…his brain!


    • 16 Jane Thorne January 6, 2012 at 12:13 pm

      Good morning Eric, I didn’t dare comment on the suit he was wearing at the time (dead giveaway on how the date would go) as I suspected that a few of my males followers would dash to their wardrobes to see if they had one!


  8. 17 granny trish January 6, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Why didn’t you write a book on this subject – I k now you started one but considered a more intellegent subject. You sould also consider writing short comedy scripts – right up your alley
    Love Granny Trish


    • 18 Jane Thorne January 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm

      Good morning Mate…thank you, I will think about that and your comment about my ‘life lessons’ one didn’t come through … love you xxx


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