The Dating Game …. Story Number Three ……..Hopscotch!

I thought I would offer a smorgasbord for your coffee break today as no one incident is really a story in it’s own right, but I am relieved that I managed to hopscotch through it all. I also hope that I retain anonymity with my change of name in the recounting of this little lot.

So, in no order of preference or timing, here they are….

1. A ‘Red Adair’ who crisscrossed the country attempting all sorts of ludicrous rescues for others and would periodically turn up on my doorstep grey with exhaustion saying ‘My life is sh*t Jane’. All of this in an unconscious attempt to run from the problem of why his marriage broke down whilst not actually tackling it. Very sad but in no possible way a platform to launch a new relationship from.

2. A musician who thought the solution to all his problems was to be found in the bottom of a bottle, which involved worrying memory lapses when he completely forgot what he had been upto. I dodged a bullet there.

3. A debt collector who was looking for a ‘mothership’ equivalent to look after him in his old age. Truck on….

4. A ‘999’ operator who was so emotionally damaged that he twisted everything that was said. A completely exhausting man and I found myself losing my temper with him….me shouting like a banshee – imagine!

5. An antique dealer who was factual in the name he gave me but nothing else. This was not very clever of him when I discovered that he was a serial cheater, thief, liar, scam artist and all round bad lot. Luckily this only took a few days and then only a matter of hours for me to locate his previous victims and we banded together. Oohhh the strength of a common cause where karma and the police are unleashed to do what they do best.

6. A security expert (ex.military) who researched me (really….) and decided that I was perfect as his retirement partner and would adequately manage his farm in the South West???? He would regale me with his daily schedule (no names no pack drill) and never once asked how my day was, what I had been upto or indeed how I was. When I had the temerity to question this, I was told (sternly) that he was introducing me to HIS world. I had two words for him and yes, they did relate to sexual travel.

I would like to point out that this motley crew were spread over a two year period and I have taken far more time off from dating than I have spent actually out on dates, after all I only have so much intestinal fortitude. Anyway, this was to be the warm-up act, the main event was in a class of it’s own.

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20 Responses to “The Dating Game …. Story Number Three ……..Hopscotch!”


  1. 3 flatcap January 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    nice blog post miss Thorne although i rather warmed to the debt collector i rather liked his forward planning xx

    Like

  2. 5 GSS January 10, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    This book is becoming a veritable tome…..brilliant but how / why do you attract such an amazingly eclectic bunch of male under-performers?! xxx

    Like

    • 6 Jane Thorne January 10, 2012 at 9:22 pm

      I used to attract them like moths to a flame – over a two year period I might add. I no longer do that and all becomes clear with Friday’s post….xx

      Like

  3. 7 1smiles January 10, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    Jane, Jane, Jane… it seems we could begin a mini-series we with our dating antics?!
    Looking forward to the main event as well. 🙂

    Like

    • 8 Jane Thorne January 10, 2012 at 6:53 pm

      Jeannie, I have learnt from all this as you will see from my last post on the subject…boy did I need to learn! 😀 xx A mini-series is a fab. idea or perhaps a practical but humourous dating book/support service…xx

      Like

  4. 9 elenacaravela January 10, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Jeez Louise! I’m exhausted just reading the synopsis. Sounds like your dues have been paid in full, someone lovely should be coming your way sometime very soon:)

    Like

  5. 11 thomag1 January 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Keep up the good fight, Jane. The suitors are good copy and source material, anyway. haha You be careful and keep writing….you have a great and interesting way with words……take care….my best – tom

    Like

  6. 13 lostupabove January 10, 2012 at 8:19 am

    Dear Jane with such a collection, you could start a museum, something like the one here(‘http://susanwritesprecise.com/2012/01/08/from-pizzles-to-elmo/) did 😉

    Steph xx

    Like

  7. 19 Eric Alagan January 10, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Dear Jane, like I said, you seem to attract them don’t you.
    I wait with bated breath for the main event… 🙂

    Like

    • 20 Jane Thorne January 10, 2012 at 10:42 am

      Good morning Eric, I attracted them like moths to a flame and I have a different way of handling things now! Havw a good day at your end 😀

      Like


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