How liberating to discover that a response is sourced from old pain and has absolutely nothing to do with ‘now’…….

We respond to something that has been said or done and our spirits drop a little (or a lot) and there goes our balance….but does it need to?

We condition ourselves with our responses and these can be wrapped in the cloak of past pain. If your response feels familiar just pause for a moment and ask yourself is it an accurate reflection of what is happening now? Memories and past experiences are filed away in a very long cabinet and even though they are not in your immediate conciousness, your subconcious will automatically draw them out when you are presented with something similiar to an old scenario.

Taking a few seconds to think can re-write your script and your response and with that objectivity comes balance.

Freeing ourselves from these old emotional responses is like shedding a skin and now you’re getting to the real you.

20 Responses to “How liberating to discover that a response is sourced from old pain and has absolutely nothing to do with ‘now’…….”

  1. 1 celestealluvial February 4, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    What a wonderful soul searching thought that brings illumination! I have also found that when this happens to me, there is usually something that I have avoided for a long time that I need to accept and embrace, else it will continue to surface even after i have realized the triggers….weather it is seeing myself in another so I can make myself equal and seek forgiveness, or weather i am disappointed in myself because deep down I know what I need to do, and have not yet done it, ect….Just wanted to share that.
    Thanks so much for this post, I enjoyed the reflections very much.
    Love and light


    • 2 Jane Thorne February 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

      Hello Celeste, I think we are too hard on ourselves sometimes. I see where you are coming from, but an emotional response can be triggered by an old memory and we have moved on and taken the lesson on board, our emotions just need time to re-adjust. What do you think? Jane


  2. 3 thepoeticgoblin January 27, 2012 at 10:28 am

    A very insightful post, thanks for sharing!


  3. 5 granbee January 26, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    You are so correct here,Jane! What a big “whew” moment when I realize my unconcious “ouching” is not caused by anything in the present, but a old event long ago resolved. I have very slight residual flashbacks to the attempted murder attack (by a hired stranger, I am glad to say, strictly for monetary gain, nothing personal) I survived many years ago. Therefore, I know only too well what you are talking about here. I really like the photo you chose, especially as one of my residual symptoms is some mild angina.


    • 6 Jane Thorne January 27, 2012 at 9:42 am

      Rose, I know that our life events shape us and test our character but you have had more than your fair share…this is where the angelic feeling around you comes from…much love to you and hugs xx


  4. 9 Grandfathersky January 26, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    PD Ouspensky called it self remembering. Thanks for this great reminder!


    • 10 Jane Thorne January 26, 2012 at 1:02 pm

      Oh Peter thank you, what a lovely way of putting it…it happened to me yesterday when something caught me on the raw and it wasn’t till I stood back that I realised old emotions had brought me down and had no place in what had actually happened now..these emotions are tricky critters! Take care, Jane


  5. 11 Christine Moran January 26, 2012 at 11:14 am

    Oh Jane,

    You have really hit the spot for me on this one!!

    I have only recently been battling with myself over my attitude to something which happened to me about 30 years ago.

    I have been involved in the 12 step recovery program for 15 years now which tackles issues such as this and gives us tools to help us deal with them. Mostly I can work through things from the past and feel content with myself.

    But this huge thing that happened just clings to me like a magnet to iron filings. I keep thinking I have let go of it but then it smacks me in the face and I find myself struggling with it again.

    Sometimes the scars left by something so huge are so rough and disfiguring that we just can’t avoid seeing them. Each time I see this scar it sets me off again but only causes me pain. I try not to look at it but then that is a kind of avoidance too. I have talked it through with friends, professionals, myself and still I arrive nowhere. I think I may never arrive at a satisfactory destination with it. So I bury it till next time…

    Thank you for sharing this most meaningful post

    Much love

    Christine xx


  6. 15 thomag1 January 26, 2012 at 11:08 am

    I have never been able to determine the latitude of control that ‘we’ have over present and past. The ‘thinking’ that we can change a response to a given situation is ‘liberating’ in of itself; whether we can make the ‘correction’ at a given moment is worth more scrutiny, I think. I would like it if my heart would win most arguments in my body but, of course, the mind over rules a lot. By your assessment, I think you are winning your ‘battle’ and establishing ‘balance’ by your determination and fortitude. My best to you, as always, Jane.


    • 16 Jane Thorne January 26, 2012 at 12:00 pm

      Hello Tom I think that we choose our’s not about control but choices. As we respond to something familiar we can review for the next time if we wish to change our response. It’s about emotions (not controlling them) but seeing where they come from, acknowledging them and then choosing. It’s about working on our choices. I agree that the subject of responses is worth further scrutiny. What do you think? Take care, Jane x


  7. 17 Eric Alagan January 26, 2012 at 9:29 am

    Spot on, Jane!
    A person grows wiser by building and improving on his last response to a given situation – I reckon.
    My buddy comes up with jewels,
    Eric 🙂


  8. 19 lostupabove January 26, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I’ll keep it in mind, dear Jane, but to forget is easy when one doesn’t want to, but very difficult when one wants..
    Love and hugs
    Steph xx


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