Oh the ease that follows from removal of the word ‘should’….

My clients are a rich source of inspiration and my heart was tugged recently by one lovely lady almost drowning in her grief. She is hanging on in there though and holding out her hand to take baby steps forward. Whilst talking with her I realised that she was already under terrible pressure but she was increasing this by saying that she should be starting to feel better and things should be starting to ease up for her.

There is no ‘should’ about it.

‘Should’ is a straight-jacket and I have dropped it from my vocabulary.

Removal of this word brings palpable and immediate relief.


17 Responses to “Oh the ease that follows from removal of the word ‘should’….”

  1. 1 teawithmanaguagunn August 1, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    I keep looking at those 3 words on your page! What powerful therapy. A new experience for me.


  2. 4 teawithmanaguagunn July 31, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    What a powerful idea. I hope I haven’t used ‘should’ too much. I remember teaching writing students to unlearn, drop etc words like ‘it’, ‘nice’ from their writing. ”Should” sounds bad in all contexts zipping through my mind now! Thanks Jane!


    • 5 Jane Thorne July 31, 2012 at 3:29 pm

      What a lovely comment, thank you…I caught myself using ‘should’ several times today in one conversation about myself….my good friend I was with picked me up on it…. 😀


  3. 6 mj monaghan July 29, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    ‘Should’ is a straight-jacket and I have dropped it from my vocabulary.

    I love the strength and confidence in your posts. You are an inspiration.


    • 7 Jane Thorne July 30, 2012 at 4:41 pm

      Oh MJ, I am blushing…thank you. I can’t think of anything to say as the past few days have tested my strength to the limit. I will post soon and maybe reveal a bit…for now this girl is flicking her cape and showing much gratitude to the ones she loves….love to you and yours xx


  4. 8 tornadoday July 25, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    When given a better understanding of my place (your place), it’s much easier to take what you need when you need it, without regard to someone else’s expectation (based on their perception of normal, right, wrong, valuable, etc.). Therefore, you can expect me when you see me. 😀 ~ Love you, Bobbie


  5. 10 granbee July 25, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Love and self-acceptance bear so much more good fruit than any amount of “shoulds”, dear Jane. Wise lady you are!


  6. 12 Linda Willows July 24, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    I used to be reminded of that by my mother. I wholeheartedly agree! Thanks for posing a reminder!!! Love, Linda


  7. 14 Maxi July 24, 2012 at 11:55 am

    I love this post, Jane. Couldn’t agree with you more. This poor woman, so tormented with grief touches me personally.
    Blessings – Maxi


    • 15 Jane Thorne July 24, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      Yes, I knew you would understand…there is no right or wrong way to cope with grief, it is a very personal journey…self nurturing has to be right up there though xxx


  8. 16 grandfathersky July 24, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Should, want, would, someday when… Any statement that set our minds into a waiting for something condition must be eliminated, we are already there, we just don’t see it yet..– “To fly as fast as thought, to anywhere that is,” he said, “you must begin by knowing that you have already arrived …” Jonathan Livingston Seagull


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