“You can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your child’s. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you’ve become yourself.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last Friday I headed northwards in the lovely SS’s car to collect Em from Uni and bring her back home for the Easter holidays. We had the treat of a whole day together and Em had been making plans for ages to show me all her discoveries and special places.

We are ‘the girls’ and not even snow could dampen our spirits that day and goodness we had fun. With two completed terms under her belt now Em has found her feet and we went into student mode for the day as she showed me the fun to be had on the bendy bus, ‘It makes me smile every day I travel on it to lectures Mum’ Em grinned at me and I ‘get’ that.

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The Paternoster lift is in perpetual motion in the Attenborough building (nicknamed The Cheese Grater by the students), 18 floors later and I had lost all facial colour. I gathered my strength at the top of the building and Em pointed out all the landmarks in the city.

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We then walked to see Em’s accomodation from next September and I met some of her new housemates. She has bucked the trend and instead of going into a very large house with her halls of residence friends she has opted for a home where she can rent a room and one of her fellow students on the same course has followed her lead and also rented a room there. There will be three students there altogether and for the lass who lives there all year round, she has made it a home. It is perfect for Em.

We then hopped on and off buses as Em showed me around the city which she has explored and made her base. We giggled and caught up over coffee and then thawed out with a hot lunch when we could walk no further.

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I walked beside Em and listened to her happy chatter and plans for her future and my heart filled to bursting point. This beautiful young lady has flown the nest and is finding her way in the world, relishing the simple, doing what sits right with her and having the courage to ‘splore, as dear Katie would put it. I am very proud of her.

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20 Responses to ““You can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your child’s. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you’ve become yourself.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt”


  1. 1 ianscyberspace April 11, 2013 at 1:06 am

    Student days were a blast for me. I was too young to appreciate the value of education untli much later. Much harder to do advanced studies when you are older and have family and and work responsibilities.

    Like

    • 2 Jane Thorne April 11, 2013 at 10:03 am

      Yes Ian, I started work at 16 and found studying harder in later life. Mind you, I took a course as I turned fifty and loved it. If things fire our passion then watch us fly! Good to hear from you. x

      Like

  2. 3 Angela April 4, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Bought back memories of my student days…. :-). Hello lovely! I just picked up your text but there’s something wrong with my phone so can’t reply. If you send me a message through the contact form on my new blog I’ll pick up your email address and send you a reply. Much Love xxx

    Like

  3. 5 Karenj April 4, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    Lovely words Jane. You and Em have such a close bond which I find really touching. You are, as always, an inspiration to me. Love Karen xx

    Like

  4. 7 countingducks April 4, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    Sounds like a lovely day. You have every right to be a proud Mum

    Like

  5. 9 elenacaravela April 3, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    So wonderful. Enjoy, Jane:)

    Like

  6. 11 Eric Alagan April 3, 2013 at 12:08 am

    Happy for you and Em, Jane buddy.

    You’re right – when having fun, no weather can dampen one’s spirit.

    Luv and hugz,
    Eric
    P/s Second para, first line – “not” missing perhaps?

    Like

  7. 13 Debbie H April 2, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    Made me think…… Love you xxx

    Like

  8. 15 tornadoday April 2, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    I love this, Jane.

    Sometimes parents don’t find what they’re looking for it their child, and so they plant seeds for what they’d like to grow there instead. It’s the aging ex-quarterback who takes his son out to throw football before he can even walk; the mother who gave up ballet dreams to get married, and instead scrapes her daughter’s hair into bun before recital.

    Critics would say it’s an attempt at orchestrating fate, but as a writer, I imagine it being more – more than just a second chance (or a second generation) destiny.

    Could it be that we’re subconsciously hoping this one thing will take hold, such that it will take up enough light and space to keep something else from taking root in our children – the disappointment we’ve already lived.

    Funny how the older we get, the more we realize the value in disappointment. ~ Much love to you, my friend. ~ Always, Bobbie

    Like

    • 16 Jane Thorne April 2, 2013 at 5:34 pm

      The dear system lost my reply….I was reading and commenting on your blog at the same time you were visiting mine…no words!

      Trying, experimenting and ‘sploring can lead to disappointment but they always lead to the new…there is magic in every step. If we can step forward with the underpinning of unconditional love rather than expectations, than we are indeed blessed.

      Much love always to you Bobbie, you beautiful soul. Xxxx

      Like

  9. 17 1smiles April 2, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Jane,
    Thank you so much for sharing this special mother-daughter adventure. I love the pictures. She lives in a stunning place.
    Many hugs coming your way,
    Jeannie xxxxx

    Like

    • 18 Jane Thorne April 2, 2013 at 4:35 pm

      Hello Jeannie and thank you….I hope you had a good Easter? I also hope your new job is working out well? Love you with the biggest hug. Xxxx

      Like

  10. 19 maturestudenthanginginthere April 2, 2013 at 3:33 pm

    As mums we try, as our kids get older, to walk beside them and offer support without dictating their direction. What a wonderful day you and Em had and isn’t it wonderful to feel them walking beside us still.

    Like

    • 20 Jane Thorne April 2, 2013 at 3:42 pm

      Wise words J, and it is special to walk besides our children and see them fly. Open arms for them to fly and to catch them should they need us – no matter how old they are, they are intrinsically loved in our hearts. Much love Xxx

      Like


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