I am currently halfway through writing a book about my internet dating adventures, thanks to the ‘spark’ from a lovely friend. This is throwing up all sorts of issues as you can imagine and the growing ‘tongue in cheek’ belief that I may never be asked out again.

The issues are interesting, because I am protecting the identity of all the characters, but where do you draw the line on how much you divulge? I have opted to keep it real and all is in there, including the unattractive aspects about myself and my moments of shame. It is apparently funny, and written with a light hand on the tiller according to those who have been privy to excerpts. It is not an unburdening of my soul, but a snapshot of what life can be like in internet dating land for women of a certain age. A publisher asked what demographic I was aiming it at and I replied ‘Are you kidding me on?’ I may need to brush up on my promotional skills.

I shared this current activity with my Mum and Dad on a recent visit and my Mum’s face lit up as she said ‘I do hope you are including the perfect cock story in your book?’ My Dad nearly choked on his lunch.

Writing this book takes me into the heart of ‘vulnerability land’ and that can became a sticking point. I have learned over the years to write and get out of the way of myself, because time and again I would write and be ‘reading’ it at the same time. That doesn’t work I found, as judgement comes in and my insistent critical inner voice is very loud indeed. So I write without thinking and just let the words fall onto the page.

This book is about me with real life events, so I have been facing fear as I sit at my laptop each day. Fear of judgement, not being enough, not being worthy and basically writing a load of stories that no-one would feel inclined to read. Hello fear.

The last thing I want to do is have it come across like a modern day advert, or some social media posts that we are all subjected to. You know the ones: beautifully attired people fresh from a full nights sleep, just off trekking in the Himalayas, while feasting on pancakes made from fresh goat’s milk, collected as the dew still nestles on the mountain sides and the children are in hand made crocheted hats… get my drift. This had to be real for me to do it. So here’s the reason I am quiet and daily beating down fear. If this ‘fear bashing’ translates into my appetite being subdued then I am ahead of the game. Now where did I put my crocheted hat?


24 Responses to “Perceptions….”

  1. 1 Jo Bee April 12, 2017 at 7:27 am

    You are putting yourself in the arena and daring greatly as our beloved Brene Brown would say. Keep on keeping on Jane. Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 3 dgkaye March 18, 2017 at 7:32 am

    Welcome to the world of memoir Jane. The book sounds like an interesting and fun read. ❤ Good luck! xo


    • 4 Jane Sturgeon March 18, 2017 at 12:42 pm

      Oh my lovely buddy, it’s not as easy as it looks is it? I am so enjoying following your travels. It is raining incessantly here today and is a perfect day for writing, so I feel brave. I am about to tackle the most painful part of the story….I am going in. Hugs and much ❤ flowing to you. xXx

      Liked by 1 person

      • 5 dgkaye March 18, 2017 at 4:06 pm

        Perfect writing day Jane. You are a wonderful wordsmith so I have no doubt once you get the flow and a rewrites, you will find the core of what you’re wanting to evoke. Welcome to authordom! Lol xoxoxo ❤


  3. 8 Gwyn Price March 16, 2017 at 9:28 am

    look forward to your book, but be kind lol



  4. 10 ianscyberspace March 16, 2017 at 4:16 am

    I write in much the same way. An idea from the past, sometimes just imagination and fingers fly to keep up with pictures leaping across the mind.


  5. 12 grandfathersky March 16, 2017 at 3:37 am

    Well, stop bashing yourself and keep writing. Those goat cheese pancake eating types only exist in TV and movies. They are a sham to keep us folks thinking that how we should be, and if we are not we are not worthy. I recently read that people before the 1950s were much happier because they spent time with real people every day on the streets of their neighborhoods. After the advent of TV our yardstick changed and no one was good enough. Not to mention Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Playboy, and Penthouse (my downfall). It is still hard to undo the programming even when I know it is false, it is so pervasive. The point is, regular people want to know what it’s like to be real, and the truth my be very comical, and very refreshing…!


    • 13 Jane Sturgeon March 16, 2017 at 8:50 am

      Hello lovely Pete, here’s to keeping it real and I am off to knitting group this morning. I smile and talk to my neighbours and the folk down on the prom. We so need real connections more and more nowadays. Hugs for you ❤ xXx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. 14 clarepooley33 March 16, 2017 at 1:51 am

    Fear is such a damaging force! You have taken those first few brave steps by beginning your book and by sharing your feelings with us. Keep going, Jane – it will be worth the struggle I am sure! Hugs and love xx ❤ ❤ xx


  7. 17 Elizabeth Melton Parsons March 15, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    😀 made me laugh. Would love to read when it’s published. Ditch the fear and as you say “keep it real”. That’s what we all love to read. ❤


  8. 19 1smiles March 15, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    Oh Miss Jane… you are one of the bravest women I know. None of that ‘unworthy, not enough’ kind of stuff coming from you. You are amazing in every sense of the world. In case no one has told you today… you are brilliant, you are bold, you are simply stunning! Now adjust your crown, go out there and slay those fear dragons! I love you tons!


    • 20 Jane Sturgeon March 16, 2017 at 8:46 am

      Hello my lovely, talking about fear makes us uncomfortable, yet we all hold it. I am writing my buddy and I know that you will come back to writing too. It’s how we slay our dragons us girls. ❤ xXxx ❤


  9. 21 mysticaljourney March 15, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    I cannot wait to read it. Drop the fear. Write completely open as if it was just for you. It will be a hit. I love you.


  10. 23 Leny Owram March 15, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    Brilliant idea….have no fear! You will entertain in the nicest possible way..can’t wait! It will be ‘you’!


    • 24 Jane Sturgeon March 16, 2017 at 8:45 am

      Thanks Leny and I am carrying on. I wanted to touch on the fear that we all hold, as it can stop us doing so many things. It is, unsurprisingly, a topic that people are uncomfortable talking about. Hugs for you. xXx


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