When the lights go out……

In Edwardian times this house was lovingly built to shelter maritime widows and various rescue projects have been attempted in the last few years, though none have taken root yet.

I feel the loving light around this place.

We all shine a light, even though some of us feel that our light has dimmed, if not gone out completely. I hear the words ‘I feel nothing’, ‘I feel restless’ and ‘I feel lost’ so often. This disconnection we are experiencing as a society is also felt within. It’s chicken and egg as to what came first, but there is no denying that it is there.

I recall years ago a heated conversation with an experienced consultant. We were handling a project together and she was livid that I was giving space and time to incorporate people’s feelings into what we were doing. Her reaction was pure emotion (which was ironic) and she was adamant that by focussing on the tasks at hand, the project would be completed. My stance was that we all act from how we feel, so if people’s feelings were not acknowledged then it would undermine whatever activity was taking place. True connection comes from people being seen (obviously within reason) so to deny feelings was storing up a whole heap of trouble for later. She accused me of being ‘girly’, we agreed to disagree and I stepped back. She is still working as a business consultant and I am now a therapist.

Reaching out to connect fully can be felt, every time. Everything is energy and listening, a loving thought shared, a smile seen, a cheek kissed, loving words heard, hands held and dreams gifted space to spark, all flow out as loving energy.

Love is felt and builds connection. ❤

43 Responses to “When the lights go out……”

  1. 1 blueheroncove December 8, 2017 at 5:12 pm

    Your post impacted and encouraged me, I appreciate hearing about your compassion and sensitivity. Some of the times that I chose to step forward and do the right thing to defend the defenseless had negative ramifications for me in my career. Some have looked at the way it impacted my life and have basically said, “Loser!!” but if I were to turn back the clock, even knowing the outcome, I couldn’t do differently. I was created this way and wouldn’t want to have an indifferent heart. Thank you for having compassion and pouring out loving kindness – you will never know what tremendous impacts you may have had on those individual’s lives!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 4 Aquileana December 2, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    Such a beautiufl post, with a deep positive message…
    I agree with you: nowadays we tend to feel disconnected and even isolted… this is paradoxical, given the hyper connectivity and communication of our times… But as you say, maybe it is because the feeling disconnection we might experience as a society comes from within. Reaching out is imporant… try to build bridges and not walls, if you know what I mean. 🙂 Sending love & best wishes, dear Jane!.-

    Liked by 2 people

  3. 6 dgkaye November 20, 2017 at 6:51 am

    Good for you Jane for following your heart. Connections made from the heart are the most fulfilling. Peace and love flowing to you my beautiful friend. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 10 ianscyberspace November 19, 2017 at 2:44 am

    You raised some interesting points. Increasingly in corporate governance it is being realized no corporation can effectively reach its goals to the maximum unless they carry workers with those goals. And that in turn means top management needs to be aware of how their workers feel and view issues that effect them in the transition. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 14 smzang November 18, 2017 at 9:38 pm


    You recognize a huge failure in business atmosphere. All businesses need people and people bring a ‘peopleness’ that must be recognized and addressed. Once again kudos to you for your sensitivity to the needs of others and for your empathy.

    Fine writing too!


    Liked by 1 person

  6. 16 Clare Pooley November 18, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Good for you, Jane! I could never ignore people’s feelings no matter how much more time it takes to get a job done.
    I worked for the Housing Department of a London borough years ago and my boss was always moaning at me for spending time talking and listening to tenants who were experiencing difficulty paying their rent. He wanted me to issue them with a warning letter and leave them to worry and fret. I couldn’t do that and by talking and listening I discovered all sorts of problems these poor people were having to deal with many of which I could help them overcome simply and easily. Official letters frighten many of us and are often written in obscure language. A few moments of kindness and patience makes us all feel loved! Hugs and much ❤ to you, lovely Jane xxXXxx

    Liked by 2 people

  7. 21 Jane Stansfeld November 18, 2017 at 4:48 am

    When I was “the boss”. so to speak, at work I was amazed at how many of my staff regarded me as a father figure. Quite a few brought their personal, I judged non-work-related, problems into my office. I always listened, I hope with empathy, marveling at how happy they seemed to have someone, supposedly in authority, listen even when counsel was not often forthcoming! Was this a form of therapy I wonder? Perhaps there are times when we all need such empathy and you appear to be just the right person to be giving it?

    Liked by 2 people

  8. 23 grandfathersky November 18, 2017 at 2:12 am

    I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    – Maya Angelou

    Liked by 3 people

  9. 25 Al November 18, 2017 at 12:06 am

    Wonderful post, Jane. I applied the principal of compassion in my career and there is no doubt in my mind it held me back. Do I regret it? No. Do I think I made a positive impact on some lives? Yes.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. 35 tornadoday November 17, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    I have to believe that if we feel nothing, it is because we have not found that which calls to us…….across the miles, the waves, the universe. At other times, we’ve lost the ability to recognize our own inner voice speaking to us. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. 37 John W. Howell November 17, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    I spent a lot of time in the classroom studying human behavior. When my time came to lead a large organization I applied concepts of Maslow and Lewin to propel the organization into unheard of success. Those that ignore the intrinsic desires of people really lose about half of the motivation potential. I guess people could have called me “girly,” but the results spoke volumes. Love the post today, Jane

    Liked by 1 person

  12. 40 frederick anderson November 17, 2017 at 11:46 am

    So many choose the business world to channel their aggression. It is intrinsic to their fiscal philosophy and I guess assists in the self-justification and lack of compassion with which they hire and fire, wheel and deal, and generally find focus. I’ve spent my life eeking a living from the shallows around the margins of these people, and spent too much emotion lamenting their lack of imagination.
    I choose art! I choose the company of people who can feel and who honestly admit to feeling. Even when it isn’t genuine it is at least trying to be. Good on you, Jane. Please, keep right on believing. Many hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • 41 Jane Sturgeon November 17, 2017 at 11:59 am

      Thanks Fred and thinking about it, I have swum in the business shallows. I stopped about ten years ago and couldn’t go back. Creativity releases a song in me that nothing else touches and I sense you are the same. Long may that continue. Many hugs flowing to you. Xx

      Liked by 2 people

  13. 42 Francina November 17, 2017 at 11:15 am

    and so it is, lovely Jane ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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