Light through water…

As I start to write this there’s a seagull perched on the edge of the roof terrace in the rain and he’s watching the world go by, as the tide goes out.

I have learnt a life gift recently that is a treasure. A loving friend sent me a text message one evening and I sensed that all was far from well with her. I telephoned and she burst into tears. In all the time we have known each other I have never seen or heard her cry and I was shocked. Thank goodness I managed to listen, but then I dropped a howler as I tried to make suggestions to fix what she was dealing with. I mentally have my head in my hands as I share that. What was I thinking!! She wasn’t asking for help, she just needed me to listen. My shock at her distress and love for her propelled me into ‘rescue’ mode and fortunately, I realised what I was doing, apologised and let her speak.

We met up for afternoon tea on Saturday and had a wonderful time, as we always do. Homemade scones, strawberry jam and clotted cream were involved which helped. Away from the heat of that moment on the phone, I quietly said sorry again and we talked about it. Oh, the gift of having someone listen, truly listen and not judge or try to tidy things up. Within a few days she had found her own answers and sorted things out. ❤

Other friends of mine are living through a dark situation that does not have a solution and we met on Saturday evening to spend some time together. We chose a wonderful Italian restaurant and sat there together all cosy and warm, under twinkling fairy lights, as it lashed it down with rain on the pavements and the sea outside.

One of our waiters was obviously Italian and bursting with youth. He looked after us beautifully and after one of his bursts of Italian as he brought yummy bread covered with mozzarella and caramelised onion to our table, I commented as he walked away.

‘Isn’t he lovely?’

Quick as a flash my buddy said;

‘He’s really Jim from Sheffield, Jane!’

I’m still chuckling as I share that.

We shared, cried and laughed through the evening and I was minded to just listen. ❤

45 Responses to “Light through water…”

  1. 1 Nancy October 2, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    When I was down and out… all I needed was someone to listen. And for them to reach out to me and ask if I was okay. You really find out who your real friends are!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 3 Sue Dreamwalker October 2, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Jane that was a beautiful muse my friend.. A listening ear is sometimes all that is needed, but our empathic nature often kicks into that rescue mode..
    Loved your story and the one about the waiter made me chuckle… 🙂
    Much love my dear friend..
    Its been a beautiful day here today… Lets make the most of each moment for we never know when storms will pass by our way.. ❤
    Love ❤ to you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • 4 Jane Sturgeon October 3, 2019 at 9:04 am

      Lovely Sue, thank you. ❤ I had a feeling we were in sync. I played hookey a bit yesterday and met friends for lunch in a lovely place next to the water and then opted to walk home in the sunshine. Later on I put my work down again and went outside to tend to my plant pots, as it was too lovely out there to not be a part of it. Hugs and much ❤ to you both, always. ❤ Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • 5 Sue Dreamwalker October 3, 2019 at 9:31 am

        Big smiles, I had a hair appointment and decided not to take the car but walk instead.. And I got another reward too, as my hairdresser told me I was her therapist.. As she offloaded as I listened… 🙂 Amazing how by the act of just listening we heal… MUCH love dear Jane.. I have one blog post in my drafts and then I will be disconnecting from the humdrum for a while.. Only answering comments… I just have to follow the flow of how I am feeling.. Much love and speak soon.. 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. 6 watchingthedaisies October 2, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Thank you Jane for such a lovely reminder on the importance of listening. I enjoyed the humour too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 8 JoAnna October 2, 2019 at 2:19 am

    I still forget sometimes to listen. It’s natural (maybe cultural) to want to provide advice or solutions. But when I remember to listen deeply, it not only helps the one who needs to talk, it takes the pressure off of us to fix the problem.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 11 smzang October 2, 2019 at 1:57 am

    There is much wisdom in your words, Jane.
    Always a joy to be in your space!


    Liked by 1 person

  6. 13 dgkaye October 1, 2019 at 11:36 pm

    I come here as always and find another inspirational post Jane. Yes, it’s so easy for us empaths to fall into that place where we feel compelled to help with advice when all someone really needs is an ear to vent to, to help sort themselves out. That’s what friends do. And that photo is just gorgeous! ❤ Hugs my most hopeful friends. 🙂 xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

  7. 16 Clare Pooley October 1, 2019 at 11:26 pm

    What a good friend you are, Jane! A listening ear and a loving heart ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. 19 Jane Stansfeld October 1, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Thank you for this poignant reminder on the importance of listening. If one concentrates enough to understand a person’s problem there is always a temptation to offer a solution as seen by us the listener. You are so right, I think that most often people merely wish to be heard!

    You mention the Corporate world, in which I also once lived. Some of my employees seemed to regard me as a father (mother) figure with whom they shared personal problems and secrets. I tried to be a good listener sometimes launching suggestions,but most often merely letting them vent, always feeling totally inadequate Maybe this listening skill needs to be taught in “management training sessions” especially in this day and age when a wrong word can trigger assertions of social impropriety..

    Liked by 1 person

    • 20 Jane Sturgeon October 2, 2019 at 8:35 am

      Yes, Jane and I feel it’s linked to awareness of self and others. When did we forget how to connect with each other? I am sure those who worked with you appreciated your listening ear.

      Hugs, always. Xx


  9. 21 robertawrites235681907 October 1, 2019 at 10:53 am

    You know, Jane, you are quite right. It is really hard to just keep quiet and listen without trying to impose a POV. Thank you for this, it has made me think.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 23 kathyreeves October 1, 2019 at 3:17 am

    You are a great friend, Jane, well done catching yourself in fix it mode and returning to all-star listener. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  11. 25 Eric Alagan September 30, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    The ability to listen with keen interest is a gift. Like most men, I’m guilty of going into “rescue mode” – fix them up, get on with life.

    But over the last 10 years, after leaving the corporate world, I’ve become a good listener. I know this of myself and those close to me have also commented.

    It is a gift that all of us have and need to nurture and let flourish.

    You’re gifted, my dear buddy 🙂 I learn from you.

    L & H,
    P/s. Your post is a timely reminder as I prepare to call someone dear – as she is going through a rough patch and we agreed to talk today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 26 Jane Sturgeon October 1, 2019 at 9:19 am

      Hello my special buddy and thank you. I remember my corporate days where we were all busy trying to think of our next answer and not really listening to others. I am sending loving energy for your friend and hugs and much ❤ for you and Lisa. xXx

      Liked by 1 person

  12. 27 Writing to Freedom September 30, 2019 at 5:10 pm

    Beautiful reflections and image Jane. Yes, listening and being present with others is often the best gift we can offer. It sounds like you have some wonderful friends there.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. 32 Jill Weatherholt September 30, 2019 at 4:59 pm

    A good listener is a great friend. Lovely post, Jane.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. 34 John W. Howell September 30, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    What a great friend you are, Jane.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. 37 novelistwriters September 30, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    Wow ♥ heart touching post I really love it 😲

    Liked by 1 person

  16. 39 Francina September 30, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    And such lovely friend you are, lovely Jane ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  17. 42 Jacqui Murray September 30, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    It’s a lesson I had to learn with my adult kids. Sometimes, they just want a trusted ear, not mom.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. 44 Mum & Dad x September 30, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    I had to live to fairly old age to learn that one. friendship like yours cannot be bought. Granny Tish x x x x

    Liked by 1 person

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