Learning to duck…

One of my buddies in the post office was not at his best the other morning and as we chatted he made a belting comment. Being a man who deals with folk daily, and is also married, he caught my stunned facial expression and knew something had happened.

A look of fear flashed across his face.

His comment had hit a boulder size emotional trigger in me and several things were happening in a split second. You’ll all know that as we gather experience in life there are things we like to work on. My reaction when I have been triggered is one of mine. As a creative, my past responses have explosive, verbal and held the deadly accuracy of an Exocet missile.

In a split second, I clamped my lips shut and breathed through my nostrils. which may have flared and scared him further. Several moments passed and I put my hand over his, smiled and wished him a lovely day, then left.

As I walked home I realised that his comment had touched on past hurt and had no relevance to the here and now. I let it all flow out through my feet and down into the earth below.

It was a few days after that and I was on the front line with a soul who needs to fire arrows and ones which are intentionally tipped with poison. This time (knowing what was coming) I let them bounce off, so I wasn’t even triggered. I closed the conversation down each time and changed the subject.

I am learning how to duck.

55 thoughts on “Learning to duck…

  1. On the front lines, one needs many skills and shields for those arrows to bounce off. But the arrows can come from other places as your experience reminds us. I love how you sent the negative energy out your feet. May good energy and recharge your grace in abundance.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Well done for coping with both of those difficult encounters with grace!
    It must have been extremely disconcerting for your buddy in the Post Office to watch you deal with his thoughtless comment! To give him his due, I am sure he had no idea he would be upsetting you so much but I also think it is the duty of people who work with the public to be guarded in what they say to any- and everybody and in how they themselves react to anything said in their presence.
    I find people who attack the innocent with ‘poison arrows’ much more difficult to deal with but knowing they are probably suffering and that this is their (rather unpleasant) way of managing their pain makes things somewhat easier.
    Hugs and love for you, my dear friend XXxxXX <3<3

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, lovely Clare for your insightful and loving comment. Yes, I think we can all speak without thinking sometimes, but the ‘poison arrow firers’ are harder to deal with. You are right in that they are wounded and bleeding over others. I try and keep contact to a minimum and keep it calm, if I can. Huge hugs and much love flowing to you, always. ❤ Xxx ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Let’s cut to the chase here, Jane. If this person continues affronting you with this lack of tact, let me know. I have contacts in the Chicago mob and they do travel. Believe me, they do not suffer fools as well as you.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. So he sensed it? This is what the world needs more of. Awareness and sensitivity to your pain and so many others. It was profound and so difficult for you. May it be a lesson for him. His children too. May your sharing bring more understanding and a sense of balance in the world. Let us all live fully with no ducking! Hugs to you 💛🙏💛

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It seems to be part of human selfish nature to hurt people, sometimes intentionally and sometimes un-intentially. It’s also part of our nature to hit back and get even. So it takes a lot of mental discipline to rise above situations such as you’ve described and you have my admiration for the way you handled yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. i hate to ask,and hope that this isn’t also a trigger. Belting is a new word for me so I looked it up and now know the meaning of this singing technique. However, it doesn’t quite put me in your moment of hurt. Please don’t explain as this may trigger more…
    Hug instead, XOX
    Jane

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello lovely Jane, it won’t trigger, but I use that term when people put a great deal of emotional energy into what they say. So, they ‘belt’ it out. I suspect that it is from something else that has triggered them and this is just the moment of release and not directly related to the present moment at all. Thank you for your hugs, as they are most welcome. ❤ flowing back to you. Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This happened to me just a week ago. I’m filled with regret and feel ashamed of my harsh reaction. As a nurse I am usually kind but there are times when something can trigger an emotional response. I’m always sorry later.

    Liked by 2 people

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