Archive for the 'Thoughts' Category

Healing forgiveness…

Today is a mild, cotton wool cloud kind of day and there is a Spring softness everywhere. I have just come in from sitting outside eating my lunch, watching the water and life flowing past. The man of the house is sitting fishing off the prom and there is a contented energy from him that is catching the drift of nature out there.

This is a special home we all share and the loving feel has been healing. My landlady, with the man of the house by her side, has been flat out this week getting a project finished. As I went outside to take regular breaths of fresh air from work their voices have floated across calling me to come and see their progress. Many funny stories and shared views on life have followed and I have so much gratitude for the love and space I have in their shared home. One of life’s gifts.

Yesterday the special man who kept flowing loving patience my way till I climbed my fear walls and met him on the other side, took me out for the day. We held hands and went exploring; seeing places that are heartfelt for him, pausing for coffee, venturing into a marina, stepping back into the past at a hall and grounds that are unspoilt, walking in meadows and by streams and across little bridges, discovering chocolate box streets with abundant flower pots and hanging baskets, sharing a delicious dinner, singing along to songs in the car and parking up to breath in sweeping views. Sharing, with much laughter and syncronicity. A precious life gift.

I am so unused to being treated romantically with loving respect that today I have needed to be my own counsel. Past choices, dead end decisions, disappointment and hurt started to play out like a painful film in my head. ‘Hang on a minute’ I thought, ‘this is not balanced old girl.’

Self soothing is the order of the day with all the little things that I have discovered work in a loving way, while I potter about in my ‘happy bubble’. Funnily enough, writing is one of them.

Opening up to live fully happens gradually and moves you into vulnerability and heaps of self forgiveness is in the mix.

Holding onto choices made in the past, that ended in disappointment and pain, is a weight that will break anyone eventually. All the loving goodness that has flowed, and may be flowing now, can stay buried if we hang onto the pain.

We are all doing our best and doing whatever we need to do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Some may not understand our actions, may question our choices and at times go into attack mode. When life gets messy, folk get scared. Yet in this split second, it is all past.

In this present moment new choices can be made and love can flow organically in it’s own sweet way. ❤

Loving kindness…..

I had a lovely date on Friday night and as I stood at my front door his smiling face came round the hedged corner and he said ‘Hello, hang on a minute I have something for you’. He disappeared again briefly and to my delight returned with an armful of flowers rustling in floristry wrap. There are now filled vases in every room of my happy bubble (even the kitchen) and my favourite Lisianthus are on my desk beside me as I work. His loving kindness flows in like the sunshine this morning.

There was an interview on the radio yesterday and I sat knitting and listening. A young man was talking about the influences in his life and he mentioned a very good friend of my brother. I had an instant flashback to the happy wedding of my brother and heart sister on a beautiful summer’s day. We all sat on rugs having a picnic out of baskets and I met my brother’s friend for the first time. My heart memory of him is after lunch he arranged the baskets and made a great leap frog game up for the children and their laughter filled the air. We have stayed in touch and he gifted my daughter and I tickets to go and hear him play a few years later. I reached out to him yesterday to share my heart memory and he replied with loving kindness.

A sparkly friend has recently spent a few weeks in Cape Town sharing her yoga and massage skills with different groups out there. There is a wonderful picture of her in a school doing yoga with the children and a young soul was so caught up in happiness, she has her arms wrapped around my friend. The joy of that moment in time is heartfelt and can be seen in their faces. We have shared my love of Africa and I am delighted that she was able to experience it for herself. One morning she sent me a video of the garden in Cape Town as the day started and her loving kindness poured through.

A highly acclaimed author gifted his time and ran a writer’s workshop in Liverpool last week and I was blessed to have a place on it. To share time and get the sense of pure skill from a man who is passionate about what he does was magic. As I shared the feeling of the experience with my gifted friend, who is a professor of creative writing, she made sure I knew that she is here to help me weave my book project together. Loving kindness from them both helping me to find my writing voice.

A quick flash of a memory came in then from a few days ago. A friend who drives a bus stopped the other day and opened his doors.

‘Did you just miss the 411 Jane?’
‘Yes’ I relied laughing.
‘Hop on, I’ll catch him up for you. If I don’t manage to catch him up, at least I can drop you off at the ferry and you’ll have a lovely view till the next one comes along.’

He did catch him up to the sound of applause from his passengers and gratitude from me for his loving kindness.

Love is the bridge….

There was a huge rainbow in the sky over Liverpool yesterday evening and I tried to capture it with my mobile phone camera. My photos did not do justice to the colours and energy that were filling the sky, yet it was there and my heart felt it.

I sat watching in wonder as the base of the rainbow grew larger and shone out with light and dark and all the colours in-between. It sparkled in the sky. The spectrum of life in all its glory, each colour flowing along with the other.

We are pressured in this modern world of ours to look for the light colours in life (to remain positive), while not acknowledging the darker colours and the depths and wisdom contained therein. All colours have their place. In the constant striving for the ‘light’ we battle ourselves within, as in denial of the darker colours we close off to the whole.

Acknowledging all the colours of life; we can observe and bear witness to them, yet we do not have to sink into any one. No one colour holds the key, for they all blend and flow together to make the whole.

They all give light and energy as they flow and the energy is love. ❤

Connections at Nowroos…..

Nowroos is today and it is the Persian New Year, also known as the Iranian New Year.

We are all connected and the notion of separateness is simply that, a notion.

A client was in touch this morning with a tricky business situation and he is gathering advice from two quarters. It was only a matter of time before my perception and suggestions on a forward course were the total opposite to the other advice he was receiving. There is no right or wrong here as no-one stands alone and we are all connected. What matters at the end of the day is the choices our client makes and how they sit with him, because he has to live with them.

We gather information, and goodness only knows it is coming at us left, right and centre in this modern world we inhabit, and we make our own choices. We then need to own those choices. Taking some time and sitting in peace to check in with ourselves, will help us to sift and sort on all the information we gather and already hold within. We can trust in our own guidance systems and the loving support of others is the icing on the cake.

I have just received a message from a lovely young man who I was fortunate to meet last year. It said ‘Happy Nowroos to you Jane and your dear family. I wish you a year full of good news and lots of success’.

It is unlikely that he will ever see his family again and I remember a meal we all gathered together for last year. Our hostess had made a beautiful soup with fresh bread and a talented lass from Saudi Arabia had brought along some tasty dough balls that she had made. The conversation turned to where they had all come from and the Saudi lass put her verbal boxing gloves on. Her questions were defensive and rather charged, but what caught my attention was how my Iranian friend handled them. He didn’t inflame the situation, or patronise, and he was gentle and humble with his replies. Wisdom belying his tender years was coming off him in waves. I asked him how he had come to this country and with humour, self deprecation, and leaving out sharp details, he touched on his story. I was unable to speak when he had finished and we started to eat. As we sat side by side I noticed that he was pulling his bread apart. This lovely man is running at such a pure frequency he misses nothing and he caught my unspoken question and explained that he dislikes crusts. Still unable to speak, I pulled my bread apart and exchanged his crusts and put my soft parts on his plate. We exchanged a tender look and have stayed in touch ever since.

We are all connected. ❤

You are me and I am you – Thich Nhat Hanh

Dilly & Amy, bestest buddies

You are me and I am you.

Is it not true that we inter-are?

You cultivate the flower in you so that I will be beautiful,

And I transform the garbage in me so that you don’t have to suffer.

This is the kind of insight that is based on interbeing. If we live our lives according to this insight, we will not have to suffer so much.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Shared from IB’s beautiful blog today at Make Believe Boutique

I dreamt last night that I went back to the Vendredi Club in France. Lesley and I were bowling along in her car through beautiful countryside, catching up on news and sharing our latest creative projects. I have a track on my play list entitled 'Angelus' that is the abbey bells of the Gregorian Monks and whenever I hear it, I am there in Aly and Ken's home listening to the village bell call out points in the day. ❤

I have been knitting lately with the bamboo needles Lesley gifted me and I can still feel the loving energy as we sat in peace on her porch and knitted together. I wore the socks she made for me at Christmas to the knitting group here yesterday.

Connection is vital. To put aside the technology and noise of our modern lives and gather together to simply be and to share. This morning my friends in France are gathering together to share, support and create. Yesterday we gathered together in Remember When, our special place, to share, support and create. Real loving connections, not just words on a page and images shared. Love beyond price. ❤

Ink in the clouds….

There are some folk in this life who can pick a fight with their own shadow. There are many reasons behind this behaviour and multiple layers to it, but it shows itself in ways that cause upset to others. If their driving need is for validation and attention, then it has been my experience to observe that it’s open season on how this is achieved. Dramas are created, unsettled situations are started, stories are told that are not aligned to truth and everyone’s inner balance in the immediate area is at risk. They are like a bucket with no bottom, because no amount of attention is ever enough, no matter how lovingly it flows. They hold little respect for themselves, so it naturally follows that they are unable to respect others.

A speck of ink in a cloud can colour the whole and all underneath see the sky go dark, feeling the chill as the light is blocked.

It is a sad fact that those who carry on in this way cannot see it, as their driving need for attention blocks out self awareness. They are the only ones who can effect change in how they operate, yet maybe their inner pain is such that they cannot turn and face it. Whatever the reason, others are affected by how they behave, and with no glimmer of change on the horizon, decisions have to be made. We are told at every turn in life to flow love, compassion and kindness, so it can catch us in the cross hair of uncomfortable choices when faced with someone who behaves like this.

My instinct and subsequent action has been to kindly and firmly move the cloud on. What do the rest of you think?

Driving…..

This shot was taken a few years ago through a car windscreen, on a very high hill in North Wales, just as a storm was passing.

A lovely friend and I were bowling along the motorway last week after visiting a buddy in hospital. This thought floated up and I voiced it:

We are all like a car driving through life. Every now and then we glance in the rear view mirror to check on the situation around us and get our bearings. If we stay looking at the rear view for too long then all sorts of mess will unfold and we can crash.


Jane Sturgeon

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