Archive for the 'Thoughts' Category

Love, or Fear?

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Every day I walk up to the Post Office to send creativity to my customers and then pop into the local grocery store for fresh supplies. There is a beautiful poppy growing through the gravel and railings on the way and I found myself saying ‘You are so beautiful’ out loud.

My Post Office buddy and I asked each other how we were and he looked distressed and commented that his morning had been horrible and he thought it best not to say why. I took his cue and said ‘Your hair looks good, have you had it cut?’ He hadn’t and I discovered that his new look had been achieved by running his hands constantly through his locks from stress. He started to do ‘the usual with my parcels’ as he calls it and I looked at him and said ‘Tell me.’ He’d made a mistake on the system, which involved a lot of zeros, and when he’d turned to HQ for help, their response had been to say ‘That will take at least 18 weeks to put right’ along with a few other comments. I listened till the end of the story and watched him explain to me how useless he was and how he always made big mistakes. My response was: ‘We all make so called mistakes. I doubt that the 18 weeks is accurate given modern technology and even if it does, they are aware of it and the necessary actions can be taken. This is management by fear, so please don’t paint yourself with their colours.’ He had tears in his eyes and we switched the conversation to all the other lovely things we normally talk about and I left pondering.

That’s when I saw the pink Poppy.

In the grocery store I was chatting to my buddies at the checkout and asked after another buddy of mine who works there. They pressed a bell and he winged his way through from the back and joined in our conversation. I discovered that he was cooking lunch for all of his colleagues and putting loving care into it. Chicken and bacon pasta in white wine sauce with rocket salad. I looked at the girls and they said ‘He always makes lunch for us.’ ❤

Feelings, feelings and yet more feelings…

A cruise ship left port the other evening against the backdrop of a dramatic sky. It was drizzling from a dark sky first thing this morning as a new ship came in and she had all her twinkly lights on. I was reluctant to disturb the moment and find my phone to capture the image.

There has been a sharp awareness lately of feelings and how they can steer the ship. A loving friend became concerned that I was alone a lot and asked why. I appreciate that she asked and didn’t immediately judge, or try to fix. I created the aloneness, as my engine room needed a thorough service and new oil. The peace from turning off distractions, saying ‘No’ and relishing the silence meant I could just be. Acknowledging what actions I was allowing, the choices I was making and where my parts were seizing.

Another loving friend asked when I had last had a paddle? Goodness, it had been a while, so I flowed that into my daily round a few days ago. The tide was in and I happily pottered at the edge of the water, discovering a new piece of sea glass and a heart shaped pebble. Making my way back up the slipway I met a Granny, her daughter and little granddaughter making their way down to the beach. Well, Gran and Mum were, little Ava was swinging on the Coastguard’s gate and showing reluctance to move. I opened my hand and showed her my treasures. We started chatting and walked back down to the sand. There was a small scallop shell that was perfect for her little hand and we set about filling it with shells and sea glass. Then we found a stick and a Seagull’s feather and started to draw hearts on the wet sand and chat about fairies. Her Gran called out to Ava to drop the feather, as she said it was dirty. No blame, but our joy disappeared in an instant. The energy changed and Ava ran to her Mum and I listened to Gran for a while. She and her husband had recently moved back to this area, after living in a very different place. Her unhappiness poured out. I replied that I moved up here a few years ago because when the souls here ask how you are, their hearts listen to the answer.

Being alone has sparked much creativity. I’ve made tunic tops from men’s shirts, tote bags from denim jeans and lined them with vintage frock material, crocheted tote bags, knitted throws and baby matinee jackets. I am blessed to be gifted many items of clothing, yarn and all sorts of bits and bobs. They ‘speak’ and I create from their energy. ❤

Joy….

There has been a theme lately of form filling and swift learning curves on how organisations run with differing processes and terminology. It reminds me of how some ‘techies’ used to share I.T. knowledge back in the 1980’s. They made it mysterious and confusing, which helped to foster the feeling of it being beyond the grasp of ordinary folk. I recall how annoying that used to be. There are similar threads running between some current social set-ups that are here to help those in need. How vulnerable people, who are facing sharp life changes, are supposed to find their way through all of this is beyond me. I sense there are many falling through the net.

An unexpected wave of paperwork hit this weekend and my sparkle got temporarily buried under the deluge, so I escaped on Sunday teatime to walk the beach.

The Belfast ferry was gliding into port to the ‘pip’ of the Sandpipers merging with the cry of the gulls. The sound of cathedral bells floated across the water, as the sun caught the ripples at low tide and it was peaceful.

I paused to breathe deeply and have a splash at the water’s edge in my wellies (which are flowery).

Driving to Mum and Dad’s yesterday the radio DJ was talking about a choir she had seen at the weekend, on the television show Britain’s Got Talent. I remembered when I returned home and found the clip on YouTube. What follows is seven minutes of joy from Flakefleet Primary School Choir.

Exploring dances…

Photo by Emily Baker…Hoar frost

The beauty of nature moved Em to go outside and explore on Sunday, as it often does.

Recently, I took a leaf out of my own book and re-arranged my ‘happy bubble’ home by the water; de-cluttering every shelf, drawer and cupboard as I went along. This also involved moving furniture as a new writing space was created in front of my bedroom window. A loving friend gifted me a notebook and on the front it says ‘She believed she could, so she did.’ I take it everywhere with me, as I jot down notes for a new writing project that’s coming to life.

This kind of exploring energy has been touching my clients.

There is a raw vulnerability when we enter into another’s private space and it touches everything. I am mindful that it’s not about how I would do things, the suggestions I may make, or how I see situations. Exploring together opens things up so that we can connect and find other ways of daily life flow. Some may fit, some may not, and signs of distress and upset from my clients call for a safe sharing with no labels, judgment or blame. It always touches on the way others see themselves with their inner scripts and beliefs and everyone is different, needing things that are unique to them. Exploring is being invented between us, moment by moment (sometimes with mis-steps in the dance), yet the overall energy is love.

A Diamond of Sixty Years Together….

My Mum and Dad – sixty years ago…. ❤

We gathered as a family to celebrate my Mum and Dad's Diamond Wedding Anniversary recently.

The children, grandchildren and great grandchildren bearing testimony to their lives together. All sparking in unique ways with the love, blessings, resilience, fortitude, flexibility, adventuring spirits, creativity and care that has sprung from their foundation.

We all love you both. ❤

Chop wood and carry water….

Pause and repeat; there were more gladioli at the supermarket, in a bucket without water, and they found their way home with me. As they revived and opened, these glorious blooms have brought beautiful hope into each room.

A lovely friend and I discovered that we have been saying the same phrase recently; ‘Chop wood and carry water’. ❤ Valerie.

Each day we flow with our daily round and do what needs to be done. Amidst it all, instinctive wisdom has had space to float up and I am grateful for that. Knitting helps; as my hands are busy, I can hear my inner self in the silence.

A monthly craft stall is arranged for the creativity that is pouring forth from my hands. When did we get so busy that doing the things that come naturally, that love and nurture us, became relegated to a hobby?

The flyers for my cleaning care project are at the printers.

Each day I chop wood and carry water, yet the stirrings of the 'new' are there as they take shape. Naturally making themselves heard, without judgment, as I learn to cease judging myself. Loving care and support from beloved connections flows daily.

I feel that if we try and hold on to anything that does not balance for us; ways, people, patterns, roles, thoughts, actions, judgment and labels….we tear.

On a light note; when I talked to a friend about my cleaning care project, her immediate response had us creased with laughter.

'I always knew you were a scrubber.'

Our furry friends know….

‘Image from Pixabay’

Nowadays, it’s all too easy to get overwhelmed and to keep pushing, doing, solving, fixing and hoping that this will balance everything out.

A pause to let things settle; to see what actually needs our attention and what we can just let be, is what we need when overwhelm hits. There are probably some spinning plates that can be left to drop too, if only we get the quiet and space to see that.

One evening this week I dive bombed into the pool for Aqua Zumba and it hit me; I was worn out on all levels. I had missed it building up and as I walked home, I felt weepy.

A dog, taking an evening stroll with her Dad, came alongside me and nudged my leg with her head. I slowed my pace right down to her amble and stroked her head. She kept walking beside me, nudging my leg and looking up.

Her ‘Dad’ laughed and said ‘Anbody would think she was with you.’

I smiled at him and asked her name.

‘Tess’ he smiled back, and with silent empathy he left Tess and I to amble back to the end of my home street together.

Tess and I nattered about the weather, her day and mine, and I carried on stroking her head, as she rubbed against my leg.

Yesterday, blessed with the flexibility of self employment, I was able to drop the reins for a few hours and nap. Then I was clear on what actually required my attention.

Bless Tess and Boris, as I am going to spend the weekend caring for him at his home and bless life’s grace to be with our furry friends, who just know. ❤


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