Trust…

The past few months have been a time of uncertainty, upheaval, reflection, living with the unknown, trusting and flowing love for all of us. I count my blessings in health, my loved ones, the technology that enables us to connect and the ability to work from home. From my perspective, extremes are showing themselves in behaviours and situations, which are adding to an awful lot of noise out there, making life an emotional roller-coaster to navigate. Yet, there are gifts in the way barriers, armour, subterfuge, veils, spin and deceit are being stripped away.

Without detail or judgment, a pattern of upsetting behaviour from my landlady has peaked. It is not personal as she behaves this way with everybody and up until now, I have chosen not to tackle it, thereby allowing it. Over the last three years, I have reassured family and friends that I can handle it and prided myself on being able to slip under her radar. There was a moment recently when all veils were stripped away and it was clear that enough was enough. I see it as a gift from lockdown.

My research and exploring online led me to a landlord who is professional, thoughtful and listens. When I found him and we spoke over the telephone, I kept the details brief, he asked insightful questions, pondered and made a suggestion. He felt the original place I was enquiring about was not right for me. However, there was a home his company are currently renovating and he suggested I could view it in our allocated thirty minutes a day outside for exercise, as it was empty.

It is self-contained, private, spacious, light-filled, with its own South facing walled garden, space to create, work and write, in a lovely area with a thriving community, all amenities within walking distance including the Irish Sea, nearer to my buddies and quiet. As I looked around and discovered all it had to offer, my heart started a joyful song. Afterwards, I sat outside in the car and rang him, when he caught my delighted gratitude and I felt his.

I can move on my own, observing social distancing and not putting anyone else at risk and that will happen in just under a months time.

Staying here and not tackling things out of fear, blocked so much and I can see that now. I used to call this ‘my happy bubble’ being next to the water and with the loving connections of neighbours. Nothing happens in isolation and with me thinking I could handle it, that draining energy leaked into everything and the air in my bubble became unhealthy. I have always said to those who seek my help; when a change is needed then life will squeeze you in that situation, till you can see it. The way this has unfolded and the abundance that has started to flow from the flash of insight is humbling.

How others behave is their choice. How others feel about us is their business. How we react and the choices we make are ours.

I am grateful and flowing love to you all. ❤

I am happiest writing…..

Harold's Planet by Swerling and Lazar.
Harold’s Planet by Swerling and Lazar.

Thoughts swirl within us all the time and when those thoughts are rooted in self-belief they are powerful.

I have been tackling an ‘echo’ (with practical implications) from my ex.marriage lately and goodness it is tiring. I have long realised that the work I do is emotionally based and taps into my sensitivity, so I need to be wary on the other energy ‘pulls’ in my day to day life. I am tackling it by the way and making headway!

My work does not have a full support system in place to ‘download’ after a tricky call/visit or day, so I fall back on my own support system. My lovely family and friends feature, as does fresh air and working outside with the earth and her abundance.

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This lovely community I have landed in also works wonders. A village walk recently through private farmland was a delight. The local farmers showed us the spinneys, woods and coppices they have planted and the ponds that have been created with the support of the Countryside Stewardship scheme. We all ended our day with a picnic in woods filled with bluebells. Children playing, a camp fire going to boil water for tea and masses (really) of yummy cakes. I met some lovely people and now get to wave to farmers as they trundle past on their tractors….love it!

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The tree clearing in our gardens continues apace and last Saturday we had a huge push to at least get them down. It worked with minimal damage to property (the edge of an old gazebo and a section of picket fence) but the blessing was no potential lumberjacks were harmed. Children played in and out of the houses and gardens whilst the adults beavered away with much chatting and laughter. Funnily enough food featured and we all sat, ate and nattered together when energy flagged. I am surrounded by lovely people. x

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I think our strength comes from recognising what works for us and who we really are. I am happiest when writing, so now I have got everything lifewise down to a manageable ‘roar’ it’s time to tackle my book again….no more procrastinating. I shall keep you all posted.