Posts Tagged 'balance'

Nature’s nurture…

Image from Pixabay

Boris came to stay for a few days this week, which was a lovely surprise. He reminded me of the joy of walking outside, listening to the birds and watching Spring come forth. People smile more readily at each other in the sunshine and I have soothed myself with the promise of a walk each day.

I took Boris home yesterday and stayed for a happy seven year old’s birthday celebrations. We were able to play outside and the birthday boy asked for flowers for his birthday. He wanted to know the names of plants in the garden and has also taken to climbing trees. He has the security of knowing that his cries for ‘Help’ will be heard and rescue forthcoming. The boys are now seven and five and their baby cousin is sixteen months old. The three boys sat on a blanket on the grass and chatted together and we sat and watched them and caught up on each other’s news. There is a wonderful freedom for children when they are outside.

A day full of magic moments. ❤

The little one was fractious after lunch and I asked to take him out for some fresh air. I walked us around the garden, as I held him safely in my arms. We took our time and smelt all the flowers and leaves. I put a sprig of lavender and some forget-me-not flowers in his little hand. He is on the cusp of forming words and we chattered away together about the plants and the bird song that filled the space as we pottered around. We found some wind chimes in a tree. He loved it so much, that we went round again. His energy was lighter when we came back in and he carried on chatting away and told his cousins what he had seen. If you hold his hands he walks, otherwise he happily moves around on his bottom in a very fast crawl. He went round telling everyone how he felt, holding up the treasures in his little hand.

The younger ones instinctively know that nature nurtures. ❤

Ink in the clouds….

There are some folk in this life who can pick a fight with their own shadow. There are many reasons behind this behaviour and multiple layers to it, but it shows itself in ways that cause upset to others. If their driving need is for validation and attention, then it has been my experience to observe that it’s open season on how this is achieved. Dramas are created, unsettled situations are started, stories are told that are not aligned to truth and everyone’s inner balance in the immediate area is at risk. They are like a bucket with no bottom, because no amount of attention is ever enough, no matter how lovingly it flows. They hold little respect for themselves, so it naturally follows that they are unable to respect others.

A speck of ink in a cloud can colour the whole and all underneath see the sky go dark, feeling the chill as the light is blocked.

It is a sad fact that those who carry on in this way cannot see it, as their driving need for attention blocks out self awareness. They are the only ones who can effect change in how they operate, yet maybe their inner pain is such that they cannot turn and face it. Whatever the reason, others are affected by how they behave, and with no glimmer of change on the horizon, decisions have to be made. We are told at every turn in life to flow love, compassion and kindness, so it can catch us in the cross hair of uncomfortable choices when faced with someone who behaves like this.

My instinct and subsequent action has been to kindly and firmly move the cloud on. What do the rest of you think?

The voice of the sea speaks to the soul….

The sea at home...

I moved to Wales recently to start life together with the farmer who said he had waited all his life for me. I felt I had found a life buddy who was on the same page with love of nature, animals and family. Throwing a blanket of love around us, his family and the life we talked about flowing together I felt so blessed.

I quickly discovered I had walked straight into a mirage and the man I thought I knew disappeared. I was weepy, tired, my confidence waned, I started to have accidents and I doubted that I could accomplish even the simplest task. I kept putting it down to my tiredness and learning to live with a new routine and talking to Paul, my partner, failed to shed any light on why I felt as I did. I was told that I was not coping, amoungst other things. After a week I called a close friend who works with families in difficulties. I asked her for help, because in a very short space of time I had lost all sense of what was real and the speed it was happening frightened me. She asked me to describe a few things that had happened, without emotion if I could, and then she gave me her feedback. Bless her, because her words were the only real thing I had to hold onto and my trust in her is implicit. I was being controlled and manipulated to a very high level. It is best not to dwell on the detail, but one thing that is clear is that ‘love’, affection and kindness are given with calculated precision and are another cog in the wheels of control. I know a fair few souls who hang on in relationships like this thinking that things will get better. ‘Oh, but he/she can be so lovely’ they say. What I was in was a film set; all the frontage was there, with controlling scaffolding holding it up. There was nothing real behind it. It never gets real or better, it just steadily gets worse.

Love gets twisted for some souls and they do not trust it. It becomes a tool for them to get the love and attention they crave while they manage their lives, running to a twisted agenda of their own making.

They are standing in the middle of a loving river and dying of thirst.

I was straight forward and tried to discuss that this was not loving and could we try to work it through. He cried. I wavered for a few days thinking I had misread the situation. The control notched up a few levels and my clarity snapped back into focus.

I wished him well and left.

I threw my net wide over four counties looking for a room in a shared house to keep costs down and to give me time to recover. I knew I would need company, yet independence. I looked at several and trusted my instinct that I would know the one that felt like home. I did as soon as I walked into it.

So here I am in a new area to me, right by the seaside, in a house that gives you a hug as soon as you walk through the front door. It is so peaceful here and my housemates are kind, thoughtful and we are all settling down well. I love my room and have all mine and Emily’s artwork up and wrapping round me. I am not rushing into making any decisions on how I earn my living and I have options. Self nurture is the song of my days as I explore my new home and simply breathe myself back into balance.

I stood on the sea front yesterday watching the ferries sail out of the mouth of The Mersey from Liverpool bound for Ireland and the Isle of Man. Looking to my left the sea stretched out way into the horizon touching North Wales eventually. This is a special place and there are many blessings in my having landed here. I am not far from Mum and Dad, my friends up North, yet I have a fresh canvas. More importantly coming back to me I have my well spring of creativity and the peace to hear my authentic voice as it guides me home. I will pick my fresh life paint pots in time and with care. For now it is alright to simply let things be.

I am so grateful to my loving friends and family who have held my hand as I stepped my way through to this point. Love is my life buoy and letting go of what has happened is happening, because it was not real.

Love flows as I hear the voice of the sea mingling with my own and she talks of many blessings. x

I am happiest writing…..

Harold's Planet by Swerling and Lazar.

Harold’s Planet by Swerling and Lazar.

Thoughts swirl within us all the time and when those thoughts are rooted in self-belief they are powerful.

I have been tackling an ‘echo’ (with practical implications) from my ex.marriage lately and goodness it is tiring. I have long realised that the work I do is emotionally based and taps into my sensitivity, so I need to be wary on the other energy ‘pulls’ in my day to day life. I am tackling it by the way and making headway!

My work does not have a full support system in place to ‘download’ after a tricky call/visit or day, so I fall back on my own support system. My lovely family and friends feature, as does fresh air and working outside with the earth and her abundance.

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This lovely community I have landed in also works wonders. A village walk recently through private farmland was a delight. The local farmers showed us the spinneys, woods and coppices they have planted and the ponds that have been created with the support of the Countryside Stewardship scheme. We all ended our day with a picnic in woods filled with bluebells. Children playing, a camp fire going to boil water for tea and masses (really) of yummy cakes. I met some lovely people and now get to wave to farmers as they trundle past on their tractors….love it!

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The tree clearing in our gardens continues apace and last Saturday we had a huge push to at least get them down. It worked with minimal damage to property (the edge of an old gazebo and a section of picket fence) but the blessing was no potential lumberjacks were harmed. Children played in and out of the houses and gardens whilst the adults beavered away with much chatting and laughter. Funnily enough food featured and we all sat, ate and nattered together when energy flagged. I am surrounded by lovely people. x

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I think our strength comes from recognising what works for us and who we really are. I am happiest when writing, so now I have got everything lifewise down to a manageable ‘roar’ it’s time to tackle my book again….no more procrastinating. I shall keep you all posted.

It’s only the end of the road if you don’t go around the bend….

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Life is busy and can be overwhelming sometimes and we struggle. It happens to us all doesn’t it? My balance was knocked on Sunday and it has taken me several days to restore it back to a peaceful place. Catching the strands of beauty in simplicity, loving moments and laughter is all part of my restoration process.

The track above leads from the edge of this village to a stunning country house and grounds where a happy ‘sploring day created special memories.

A little one going into school this morning rode up here on her brand new sparkling bright pink bike in her matching boots.

I have found a supplier of vintage hand embroidered linens which will make beautiful blinds for the kitchen and bathroom windows.

A neighbour has loads of chickens and not only could I hear them when I hung my washing out this morning, but another kind neighbour informed me that she sells half a dozen eggs for £1. Now the loving cake I am making for tomorrow will taste extra special.

Over the past few days my face to face work has been very busy and my little place is full of flowers that were brought in by my beloved friends and clients….sweetheart roses, freesias, yellow daffodils and white jonquil.

There is hilarious banter flying by email between my SS and I and funny ditties on ‘WhatsApp’ between Em and I….as only ‘us girls’ can.

An old English Sheepdog has just gone walking past with his owner, and just for a few seconds, sat down at the kerbside (on a lead) and smiled up at his owner and his owner smiled back and nodded and the dog got up and walked on…bouncy walking.

Tomorrow I get to escape for another day with my special ‘sploring friend.

On my cycle ride to the local shop this morning I spotted tiny little daisies joining the primroses, forget-me-nots and daffodils in the hedgerows. My neighbour asked if I was keeping fit as I came haring round the corner on my bike to our sheds….’No, George’ I replied, ‘I think the emphasis is on getting not keeping fit’…delivered with much puffing between words.

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Synchronicity, balance and blessings in simplicity….

my village

Through my own choices my balance was rocked lately and I made a decision to step back and take stock. Time to reflect and just ‘be’ is a blessing.

There is a profound peace in this little cottage where I live and the walls that are over 200 years old protect and enfold me. I pottered yesterday and so many blessings floated up…..

I live on a hilltop looking out over fields and hills and the birds happily sing their freedom up here.

The traffic is a rural mixture of horses, tractors, battered land rovers and a very grumpy postman.

I unpegged my washing from the line yesterday and the setting sun caught the church tower at the side of our gardens.

Neighbours knock on my door all smiles and friendly offers.

There is a Pilates class in the village hall just over the brow of the hill on Monday evenings.

We are all going for a Spring walk on the May bank holiday ending with a picnic in a local wood. Homemade cake has been mentioned.

There is a real possibility of the closed pub building being turned into a village shop.

I have loving friendship links in all the surrounding villages. Friends that I have made with all the different things I have done in various places around the world and here we are in close proximity. Are we having fun catching up with each other? You betcha!

One of my clients looked across my sitting room on a recent visit and quizzed me about the things I make. I am now creating to add to the stock in her vintage gift shop.

There is synchronicity at work here with a balance that I have longed for.

I am grateful and content.

Pausing to take a moment…….

Right now life is very hectic for everyone and it is tricky to maintain balance with the ‘roller coaster’ feeling that all this activity gives.

As you are faced with each request, challenge, or at times demand, pause just for a moment, before you take action.

You know your own criteria and instinctively what feels right for you, so allow yourself the time to give an authentic response. This also gives your emotions some space to settle as roller coasters can play havoc with our balance…..


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