Posts Tagged 'blessings'

Deflector shield up….

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

I received a letter a few weeks ago with a recall to hospital for more investigations after a routine mammogram. Having walked a path with cancer a few times I had the expectation that I could take news like this in my stride. I didn’t and was instantly swamped in fear, which frightened me more than the news. My deflector shield came up, I closed off and when prodded came out verbally swinging. I was lost to myself for a while.

Georgie guessed that something was badly amiss and within a day he got me to share the news with him. He promised that no matter what happened we would deal with it together, which we did till I got the all clear.

I thanked the hospital team for the gift of their care and attention and it has taken me a few weeks to realise that there was a greater gift nestled within my fearful reaction.

Georgie’s response taught me that love can flow in many ways and I can trust the different ways that others flow with, even if their ways are not like my forms of loving expression. That first day he took me out for a walk and a yummy meal to the place where we had our first date. Over the next few days we leant in to our banter and shared jokes and when we got the all clear he took me out for our favourite breakfast. The one we started each day with in Lisbon; the place where many magic memories were created.

Parkgate, The Wirral

As the days carried on I joined the knitting girls at a Lulu concert and during the show I glanced down the row at all their happy faces. It is many months since we have all been together and the loving light we hold for each other is still there to see.

Then the family gathered for my Mum’s 80th Birthday celebrations. As I looked around the table at her three children and their families, with shared connections, memories and love we all hold for each other. There was a special light shining out.

Happy Birthday Mum ❤

The big lesson in all this is that I no longer need a deflector shield in love. Life has blessed me with a partner who stands beside me in vulnerability and who can meet fear with thoughtful actions. I appreciate his loving ways and celebrate the differences in how we each show love. The expectations on how I was measuring his love have melted away along with my deflector shield. Ohh, the freedom and joy in that. ❤

Discoveries as the new weaves into the old…

River Weaver

The first day of my new venture started with me finding Dad and smiling at him:

‘Dad, I am on the cadge.’ I smiled.

‘Oh yes’ he replied, as he peered at me over the top of his newspaper.

More smiles….

‘I haven’t got any clothes to paint in, so have you got any of your soft cotton shirts that you don’t wear anymore?’

I took his puzzled look as a ‘go ahead’ signal.

Rootling around in his wardrobe I pulled out a faded white and blue checked little number with a frayed collar.

‘Can I have this one Dad?’

‘It’s my best one……..!’ He smiled over the top of his newspaper.

‘Great stuff, thanks it’s perfect.’

I kissed his forehead and sailed out of the front door complete with a lunch box (packed with goodies) and a flask that Mum had unearthed for me from their old picnic gear.

Jo and I have sorted out our arrangement on trust and we both pottered together this morning, each doing our own thing, in harmony. As Jo left for the day we shared a caring look that flowed with gratitude for the divine timing that has brought us together.

I have made a start on some pieces and I am very grateful to Tracey and Chris for their encouragement as I put together a new design this afternoon. xXx

The lovely scene above was my lunchtime spot. I walked down to the boats and shared my roll with the ducks and soaked in the peace.

On the way home, as I was coming up to the bridge, three ducks crossed the lanes of traffic in single file and we all stopped to let them pass. The last duck may have been a bit giddy with the sunshine, because she broke rank and started to weave through the traffic. Bless her. We all waited till she was safe. It’s a beautiful day here and as I pulled up at the traffic lights a young lad, who had been behind me in the ‘duck queue’, drew to a halt beside me. All our car windows were down and he shook his head at me. I interpreted his look to mean ‘You daft old bat…’. I smiled at him and spoke across the cars; ‘May you get the life experience that means it’s OK to stop for ducks.’ Then I smiled at him gently and drove away.

Many blessings and possibilities as I find my way with this, with a heart full of gratitude for all the footsteps that have brought me here.

Gratitude is the father of all virtues and from that springs a core belief that life is indeed good and every day holds blessings……

A fellow blogger commented that I rarely showed pictures of my paintings on my blog, so Peter I have taken note and the above is a picture that reminds me of Emily (my daughter) as a little girl and it is apt as my writings for the next few days have been inspired by Em.

Years ago I had the privilege of housekeeping in a beautiful old home and sometimes I would take Em with me. There was a artistic arrangement of statues following the sweep of the main staircase and they depicted the seven main virtues which I understand have biblical origin; chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness and humility.

As the world is now I believe that gratitude is the father of all virtues and from that belief comes the understanding that life is good and each day holds blessings. As I close my eyes each night I run through my mental gratitude film and there is always something new that I am thankful for.

I am also grateful for the love that is woven through my days like air and for the hope that I could not manage for a single second without.

Gratitude, blessings and acknowledgement of the things that matter…

I am grateful for;
The return of my health,
Em handling her exams so well with the end now in sight,
The sun shining today so the washing is drying,
Our new Tarot card support group meeting tonight.

I am blessed with;
The arrival of my magical elf,
So much love and support from my family and friends,
The return of my customary optimism,
The unconditional love of the little ones.

I acknowledge;
That endings must come before beginnings,
The reasons I was stopped dead in my tracks,
That I reap the harvest from the seeds I sow.

I am grateful to be blessed with new seeds that hold love and hope for a new crop.


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