Posts Tagged 'change'

A day’s freshness…

Tip toeing through the stillness of the house, I observed the sunrise from our ‘garden in the sky’.

Unplanned this weekend, my lovely young neighbour (who lives on the same floor as me) and I sat on a shared blanket outside on the flat roof and knitted together. She is gracefully flowing through on some life changes, as am I, and our conversation weaved in and out with the yarns we were using. At one stage she looked at me and said:

‘Gosh, look how my scarf is growing as we talk. While my hands are busy, my thoughts are coming out whole.’

We shared ideas and plans and after we’d both finished work yesterday, we carried on as she tested out my new sofa arrangement. I am sure our gentle murmurings and shared laughter drifted downstairs.

I did something on Saturday night that put a foot back in the past temporarily and that called for loving dollops of self forgiveness. Then yesterday I wrapped my addled brain around the GDPR implementations (European data privacy) needed for my blog and web site and researched a new software platform for my work. All flowing changes and also, sparks for memories of things and connections that have been tried and left in the past.

Us girls talked about how we are coping with our changes, how things are unfolding and we both become aware of something that underpinned all we were sharing. We change our clothes every day, yet the cloak of emotions we carry can stay the same.

We both let a little fresh air into our cloaks this weekend and I feel lighter this morning. ❤

Holding our loving space….

In my sifting and sorting this week I have re-discovered my Granny’s tea set in a box. I have started to use her cups and I am going to plant her teapot, sugar bowl and jug up with spring plants. I let my Mum (her daughter) know about my discovery and then we went on to talk about family treasures in my space. The embroidered cloths that Mum has passed my way, Granny’s sewing basket that I use nearly every day, the bookcase that my Dad gifted his Mum when he got his first paycheck is with me too, holding my beloved books. Creative treasures that Emily, my daughter, has made over the years are here too, with a set of her paintings alongside a creative table I have put together. Everything in one place and accessible, so that I can create in a spark and not have to hunt for anything, or set anything out. Marvellous.

Each circle in each day brings me back to a calm centre within, where I am held in a loving space.

Sharp winds of change have blown through life lately and I have found peace in this calm centre. It’s not about denial of upset, because as feelings rise up like waves, I acknowledge them and then ‘park’ them. In turning my mind back to the nurture of creativity, and what soothes naturally, the temptation to layer up against the pain doesn’t happen. I flow with accepting that it is how it is.

So many times in my work and life I meet souls layered up and sheltering behind their shields. Sometimes so layered up that they have managed to convince themselves that they don’t need nurture at all. So many painful stories from the past playing out as if they are still happening now.

We are like vessels that fill up and whatever we hold inside gives us the view on how we experience life.

I spend my working days helping others to unpack and gift themselves some room within to breathe and explore new perspectives and options. Recently, a client said ‘I am sorry Jane, I can’t tell you what you have just said, but your voice is so calm I’m falling asleep.’ I burst out laughing, which made him chuckle…laughter and calm in his inner space. ❤

Circles of change….

First thing this morning the light was full of depth and I sat here preparing to start work filled with peace.

The tides are different every day and today the spray is flying high in the wind out there. I sit listening and talking to troubled souls from all over the world as I watch the sea in it’s natural rhythm.

Every single grain of sand on the beach is washed and moved, every single day. It’s a natural circle and each grain changes every time, all flowing together.

Many telephone calls that come in are filled with anguish as change is resisted, battled and fought against. Folk are exhausted from hanging on to things, people, feelings and situations that do not balance with them. They want the tide to stop. They fear change. We have all been there, sometimes many times.

We all have tides washing over us and some days we roll with ease, some not so much. Bless the other grains who roll with love for us and with us. I love the grains on my life beach. ❤

“A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.” John A. Shedd.

My lovely friend Bobbie shared this quote a few hours ago and it crystalised a whole tumble of thoughts and feelings within me. We are not built to stay in our ‘harbours’ as nothing will change. We all need rest sometimes, but that place can become a trap because we resist change so we feel safe.

When we first have a thought on something new we can do, it is pure in that initial moment. As time goes on we add our own fears, opinions and thoughts of consequences if we go ahead. If we share it with others, then their fears, opinions and ‘what if’s’ come into play too. What a weight to add to an idea.

We can all be heard to say ‘Life is short’, but they are just words unless action is taken. Nothing will change without change and we are built for change.

I am ready to change what I do for a living and several ideas have been floating around and one has taken root in my heart. It’s been an interesting life so far and I have had a go at a number of things that may, or may not, be seen as ‘successful’ by the measuring sticks that some use in our modern world. I have learned a lot and it has honed me into the flexible, resilient soul that I am, who chooses each day to feel life through a loving heart. Whatever this choice may bring forth, I’ll give it my best and who knows what sea it will sail me into.

Love…..

Courtesy of Liverpool Echo

My days flow as I work watching the tides doing their natural thing, birds riding the thermals and all sorts of crafts sailing on the water. Late on Thursday night and into Friday morning the tall ships sailed in for the festival this weekend and it was a breathtaking sight.

I felt drawn to come and live here, not knowing a soul or the area, with a pull so heartfelt I followed it.

This weekend arrangements flowed in and out and all of us were drawn together by love; of a partner, a brother and a lifelong friend.

Seasons flow with our lives in a state of flux and the world in change. Nothing lasts.

The constant is love. ❤

Such a sweet planet we walk on, when we walk it with heart….. Jeff Brown

sisters
Exchange your righteousness for humanness,
your judgments for compassion,
your hopelessness for faith,
your armor for love.

Such a sweet planet we live on
when we walk it with heart.

‘Love it Forward’ by Jeff Brown

Both my sister and I have let go of differing situations in the last week and set-up a new home together. Whatever stormy seas brought us here, we have found a loving harbour in this place. Not living under the same roof since we were 14 and 16 (which is a few years ago now, ahem), we both feel the hand of divine timing in what has unfolded recently.

We have chosen a modern house near the hospital where Debs works, with room for our grown up children to stay and space for me to work in peace. Here we are a week later on a stormy Sunday, all safe and cosy, with Debs asleep after a night shift and me logged on for work with the support service.

Deb’s eldest son and his partner helped us move and there was a priceless moment as Rob came out of our new home to take the latest box from me at the van and this is how the conversation went…

Rob: ‘Mum is showing my baby photos in there!!!’

Complete puzzlement on his face….

Me: ‘Well you were a beautiful baby.’

His next facial expression was even more eloquent.

It has been a week of loving support, mass activity, normal work for both of us girls, lists, laughter, shopping forays, yet more lists, yummy food, Mum and Dad visiting, friends popping in, gifted flowers and plants, messages of support, appliances mis-behaving and being replaced, the blessings of a kind landlord, a decisive and speedy furniture purchasing trip around Ikea, more laughter, warm rugs going down in each room, efficient heating (thank you), assembling of flat pack furniture with very helpful ‘back seat driving’ assistance being given from the sofa (not), ‘oohs and ahs’ over new home accessories, bottles of bubble bath and perfume appearing on windowsills, many cups of tea and coffee, queries of ‘Does this look good here?’ and ‘Is that hanging straight?’ and even more laughter.

We have plans for the future and we feel excited about them. Right now though we are taking time out to simply ‘be’, to catch our breath and let this new life we have drawn together seep in. We each react differently to change and cups of tea and coffee, yummy food, loving support and a cosy home nestle us, while we hold each other safe as everything settles.

And a new chapter begins….

‘Nothing changes if nothing changes…’

Cherry blossom

A special friend sent this quote through ‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’ and another special friend suggested that I took time out for a ponder with the kind words ‘maybe you need a meditation not medication’.

I sat in one of the huge chairs here, looking out into the garden watching the fresh day appear. The dear little cat curled up on my lap and I had a chat with myself. I have known for some time that my poorly chest is linked to heartbreak and I was getting frustrated that each day I awoke feeling the same way. I have felt rotten every day.

Light dawned within as the day unfolded outside.

I had done all the healthy things of walking away, easing the transition with graceful love, being grateful for the life gifts from the connection and cherishing the good memories. I have been letting go of the hurt, disappointment and not traveling down ‘blame’ avenue. In my work I reach out to help souls every day with all these loving suggestions and I was getting frustrated that I remained poorly.

Ah, but it was working and I was messing it up. I was holding onto the hope that things could be mended, that there could be a different outcome. There are natural laws that run through the universe and one of them is ‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’. Holding hope for a different outcome was holding me exactly where I was and keeping me poorly. How can there be a different outcome when nothing is changing?

Truly letting go is not letting go of hope, it’s letting go of the belief that a certain outcome is the only thing that can happen.


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