Posts Tagged 'exploring'

Healing forgiveness…

Today is a mild, cotton wool cloud kind of day and there is a Spring softness everywhere. I have just come in from sitting outside eating my lunch, watching the water and life flowing past. The man of the house is sitting fishing off the prom and there is a contented energy from him that is catching the drift of nature out there.

This is a special home we all share and the loving feel has been healing. My landlady, with the man of the house by her side, has been flat out this week getting a project finished. As I went outside to take regular breaths of fresh air from work their voices have floated across calling me to come and see their progress. Many funny stories and shared views on life have followed and I have so much gratitude for the love and space I have in their shared home. One of life’s gifts.

Yesterday the special man who kept flowing loving patience my way till I climbed my fear walls and met him on the other side, took me out for the day. We held hands and went exploring; seeing places that are heartfelt for him, pausing for coffee, venturing into a marina, stepping back into the past at a hall and grounds that are unspoilt, walking in meadows and by streams and across little bridges, discovering chocolate box streets with abundant flower pots and hanging baskets, sharing a delicious dinner, singing along to songs in the car and parking up to breath in sweeping views. Sharing, with much laughter and syncronicity. A precious life gift.

I am so unused to being treated romantically with loving respect that today I have needed to be my own counsel. Past choices, dead end decisions, disappointment and hurt started to play out like a painful film in my head. ‘Hang on a minute’ I thought, ‘this is not balanced old girl.’

Self soothing is the order of the day with all the little things that I have discovered work in a loving way, while I potter about in my ‘happy bubble’. Funnily enough, writing is one of them.

Opening up to live fully happens gradually and moves you into vulnerability and heaps of self forgiveness is in the mix.

Holding onto choices made in the past, that ended in disappointment and pain, is a weight that will break anyone eventually. All the loving goodness that has flowed, and may be flowing now, can stay buried if we hang onto the pain.

We are all doing our best and doing whatever we need to do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Some may not understand our actions, may question our choices and at times go into attack mode. When life gets messy, folk get scared. Yet in this split second, it is all past.

In this present moment new choices can be made and love can flow organically in it’s own sweet way. ❤

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Creating a new tapestry with faith, hope and love, always love, and discovering a natural rhythm…

IMG_2459

My friend Gary was away on a business trip this week and he took a picture of the sunrise over Newcastle and he has kindly gifted it.

There is a meal being created for us all to share in our home today and we have realised that we are missing our fresh herbs. Our thoughtful landlord has organised builders to re-vamp the back yard over the next few weeks and to build a shed for storage and ‘hopeful’ bikes. By the Spring we will have a lovely space to share outside and we can all ‘see’ pots, herbs, plants, seats and colour.

We have a peace flowing through our home which is nurtured with kindness, thought and laughter, much laughter. Take four strangers, bring them all together in a beautiful house that has been lovingly restored and within a few short weeks what do you have? You have magic flow and a landlord who is going to stay with us for a while.

This week has been a collection of organising, sorting, making decisions, writing, knitting, laughter, watching films, catching up with friends, registering for local services and finding my natural rhythm.

Life flows gifts: a new mirror in the bathroom with a sparkly edge, watching the sea at storm level throwing spray high up into the air to the delight of watching toddler’s, playing air hockey in the arcade to shelter from a sharp hail storm, going back to my natural hair colour and having the length chopped off so my hair can swing, sharing coffee, tea, cake and nattering in the ‘Driftwood’ cafe, starting to learn the history of this special place, walking around the point and looking across to Liverpool and spotting the landmarks, exploring the rail network, watching the swans on the pond by the sea, seeing the ships come in and out on the Mersey, discovering the local films and talks that abound up here and breathing. Simply breathing in the peace of my home, relishing the space and choosing the strands to create my new tapestry with care to the backdrop of my natural rhythm.

Life flows gifts.

Discoveries as the new weaves into the old…

River Weaver

The first day of my new venture started with me finding Dad and smiling at him:

‘Dad, I am on the cadge.’ I smiled.

‘Oh yes’ he replied, as he peered at me over the top of his newspaper.

More smiles….

‘I haven’t got any clothes to paint in, so have you got any of your soft cotton shirts that you don’t wear anymore?’

I took his puzzled look as a ‘go ahead’ signal.

Rootling around in his wardrobe I pulled out a faded white and blue checked little number with a frayed collar.

‘Can I have this one Dad?’

‘It’s my best one……..!’ He smiled over the top of his newspaper.

‘Great stuff, thanks it’s perfect.’

I kissed his forehead and sailed out of the front door complete with a lunch box (packed with goodies) and a flask that Mum had unearthed for me from their old picnic gear.

Jo and I have sorted out our arrangement on trust and we both pottered together this morning, each doing our own thing, in harmony. As Jo left for the day we shared a caring look that flowed with gratitude for the divine timing that has brought us together.

I have made a start on some pieces and I am very grateful to Tracey and Chris for their encouragement as I put together a new design this afternoon. xXx

The lovely scene above was my lunchtime spot. I walked down to the boats and shared my roll with the ducks and soaked in the peace.

On the way home, as I was coming up to the bridge, three ducks crossed the lanes of traffic in single file and we all stopped to let them pass. The last duck may have been a bit giddy with the sunshine, because she broke rank and started to weave through the traffic. Bless her. We all waited till she was safe. It’s a beautiful day here and as I pulled up at the traffic lights a young lad, who had been behind me in the ‘duck queue’, drew to a halt beside me. All our car windows were down and he shook his head at me. I interpreted his look to mean ‘You daft old bat…’. I smiled at him and spoke across the cars; ‘May you get the life experience that means it’s OK to stop for ducks.’ Then I smiled at him gently and drove away.

Many blessings and possibilities as I find my way with this, with a heart full of gratitude for all the footsteps that have brought me here.

Adventures…..

Muddy Boots

Shared hopes and dreams,
New pathways to tread.

Held hands and railway tracks,
Spring lambs and smiles.

Nattering and laughter,
Exploring side by side.

Life unfolding with joy,
Hearts nestled in care.

Many adventures to come,
Two souls singing as one.

Hilltop

Loving circles catch a thermal….

The Wirral

I have felt the need lately to clear space so that new working steps can flow in and last Sunday was my final shift on the online text support service. I logged off at 1pm and to draw a loving line under this work Mark suggested a trip out. I chose the seaside.

It poured down with rain and was, ironically, bitterly cold too, yet this did nothing to dampen spirits in the car as he drove me around The Wirral in Cheshire. We joyfully discovered that we explore in the same way and had a great time discovering all sorts of country lanes and beautiful views. Picnics in the car are great fun and we sat there looking at a map, munching away and coming up with ideas for future adventures as the rain drummed down on the car roof. There was a gap in the clouds and we jumped out to explore Hoylake lifeboat station and the beach…I may have mentioned, several times (ahem), how cold I was, so hot coffee featured in our next pitstop! Then we parked up at West Kirby so I could photograph the sunset. We sat there in companionable silence as the sky and sea changed colour and I was wrapped in his gentle patience as we waited for the best moment to capture nature’s display.

Work has continued to circle through this week as I have picked up the reins again on the live support service. One of the gifts contained in this has been the continued contact with Wendy and Tracey, my colleagues. Very loving frendships full of understanding, support and laughter.

Our dining room table is graced with rainbow colour at the moment as Christine Moran, my loving friend, gifted these beautiful tulips. Chris and I are excited because we are going to be able to spend time together this year at the book launch for her wonderful poetry book ‘Dancing in the Rain’ and during other adventures….pants over tights and cape flicking hey my funky teapot buddy?

Chris's tulips

My work space in Leyland has not been confirmed, so I have set sail looking for new opportunities. This time out I am going to look for independant space and we’ll see where this path leads. I had a list of possible options and Mark took me by the hand to explore them all yesterday. It’s a work in progress, but I have every faith that the circles have a purpose and I’ll flow into the right space. There was one that ‘hummed’ with energy and I am going back tomorrow to explore it further. This latest round of hunting was celebrated with a yummy dinner, which was handy as Mark was starting to go pale……

I have many photos on my phone of Emily and her new hair style this week. Each day she has started the day with ‘This is my style today Mum, what do you think?’ On Monday she had very long hair that was all cut off. Her hair has gone to the Princess Trust to be made into wigs for children dealing with cancer and she also raised over £100 in donations for the same charity. I am so proud of you Em. x

Ems new hair xx

This window of time I have with Mum and Dad is a gift and yesterday morning I managed to finish work early and bobbed outside to see how Dad was getting on building his new store. We fell into a familiar routine and as the welcome Spring sun shone on us and I ‘assisted’ as he worked. He cracked a joke at one stage and asked if I had heard it before? Many memories of ‘assisting’ floated up and I gently suggested that I may, just may, have heard it during other project moments that revolved mainly around guttering and drainage! It made me think of Mum and how many years she has stood ‘assisting’ by his side. You have a book to write here Mate, you really do!

There’s a new week about to start with Emily going great guns on her dissertation, Mum preparing for her final Mediumship assessment, Dad finishing his store and Mark holding my hand as we explore together.

My thoughts end this post with Jasper, as his Mum took a picture of him blowing his Granny kisses for the new tank top she has knitted for him. Xx

Jasper 1


Jane Sturgeon

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Jane Sturgeon Life Therapist

Loving connections in our Global Village

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