Posts Tagged 'family'

A Diamond of Sixty Years Together….

My Mum and Dad – sixty years ago…. ❤

We gathered as a family to celebrate my Mum and Dad's Diamond Wedding Anniversary recently.

The children, grandchildren and great grandchildren bearing testimony to their lives together. All sparking in unique ways with the love, blessings, resilience, fortitude, flexibility, adventuring spirits, creativity and care that has sprung from their foundation.

We all love you both. ❤

‘Sploring…..

Mum, Dad and I headed off to Anglesey, an island off the North Welsh coast, for a week recently. A thoughtfully equipped bungalow, nestling above a beautiful bay, gave us a cosy foundation and we had a grand week ‘sploring.

We were on the east coast of the island and the peace there is unique. Friends from North Wales came to visit and we also visited friends who live there (lucky souls). No SatNav in the car was a gift, because with much laughter and lots of ‘How about going left, or right?’ at different junctions, gave our ‘sploring a magical touch.

Dad got to rip it up on his scooter on various promenades and he went steam train riding with a buddy. Mum, a friend and I discovered a wonderful knitting shop in a tiny fishing village, where it’s possible we covered her takings for the day. We had ice creams, yummy meals and a memorable lunch by a lake in the middle of nowhere. Mum and I went beach combing, collecting treasures for my creations. Farms, bays, a lighthouse, little islands, estuaries full of yachts and boats and happy pausing places for coffee and hot chocolate were discovered along the way.

We had time together creating heart memories and that is the greatest gift. ❤ Our 'sploring added a different dimension to it all! ❤

Boris the Wonderdog, my buddy…..

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Boris and I have been flowing through the holiday season in historical Chester.

We have shared treasured moments with our family as we all came together and made heart memories to hold forever. We have danced round the kitchen; Boris springs up and down, while I will keep quiet about my dance moves. We have produced meals from the huge range (I so love cooking on this now I have got the hang of it) and watched some stunning sunrises on our walks. Navigated our way to the river and the park, where Boris successfully manages to terrify the local squirrel population.

Grid locked in traffic the other day I discovered that my friend’s car has heated seats that also supply a roller massage that is simply bliss. I floated home and immediately sent a text to them, while they played on an exotic beach far away, saying that having made this discovery I would now be living in their car and could Boris stay with me always, please. ❤

Boris, being a Wonderdog with superpowers, comes everywhere with me and yesterday we successfully moved all my goods and chattels to a new home. I will unpack and settle when I return on the 5th, but for now the cobbled street outside and my new place have been checked out by Boris and passed as OK. I can have my furry friends to stay there too, which is an added joy.

As he lay his head next to mine and 'hurrumphed' in my ear at 5.20am this morning, I did suggest that it was a trifle early to start the day as I stroked his head. He went back to sleep, as all wise buddies do.

So as I thrive with Boris's wonderful company I wish you all much love and happiness for 2017. Here's to sparkly times as we all cross new bridges and share life together. ❤

Le Belle Francais……

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I have been gifted some more time in France to care for my lovely furry buddy Belle.

My friend’s sister picked me up at the airport yesterday and we all gathered on her verandah to enjoy a yummy dinner, whilst we caught up with each others’ news and laced the air with laughter as the sun set.

My friends and their family flow loving kindness like a natural spring and as I absorbed the magic peace of being back here in France with them all, my cup filled to overflowing.

At an unearthly hour today my friends set off on their travels and I donned my new wellies, so Belle and I could go out and greet the day. My new fabulous footwear was a gift, so I can explore with Belle and stay warm and dry in style. We all decided that I will leave them here, as my ‘French’ wellies, knowing that I will return.

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Autumn is drawing in and first thing this morning the valleys were full of mist lying like clouds below the treetops. Mankind was silent and all Belle and I could hear were the cockerels and crows greeting the new day, as the smaller birds tweeted to each other from the trees and hedgerows. The peace held us safe as the sun drew up above the horizon and nature sang her joyous song.

Peace

Peace

Where love is the harbour…

Harbour

Children play in our street and I love hearing their happy sounds. One of our neighbours mends bicycles and he can often be seen testing them up and down the road. His children come back from school and sit chatting to him as he works in his front yard and his wife brings him a drink and they spend time together. He flows love into his work; that love flows out to all that pass by and beyond a shadow of doubt, it wraps around his family.

I love going to the open air gym in the park and walking down by the sea. An added joy is I am getting to know the other walkers, joggers and dogs. Oh the dogs ❤ Shadow wants to play and walk close by, sharing what he sees. Gus the lurcher (still a beautiful puppy) throws himself up for a hug. His 'Dad' commented this morning that he loves the first part of the day and smiling at him I nodded and said 'It's full of hope isn't it?' He smiled back and said 'I never check the weather Jane'. The weather is what it is and the dogs bound about greeting each other, chasing balls, sniffing everything they can, bringing fellow spirits together and gifting us all the opportunity to share.

My Mum is busy knitting baby dresses to go into the stock at my friend's shop and our messages, emailed photos and calls going back and forth are a joy. 'I've made this, what do you think?', 'I've run out of wool, what about 'so and so' to finish it, would that work?' and yesterday's hilarious one. 'I have finished the teapot cosy, but a single strawberry took about three hours to create, so I am changing the plan!'. Mum and I are soothed by knitting, creating and having somewhere to flow them on to, gives us a purpose. There is love in every stitch. I have wrapped the strawberry up in tissue paper and it's going to Daisy in a parcel with other gifts from Aunty Lynn. A memory floated up then from last Sunday, as I made a hash of knitting a row, I went to unpick it and said 'Oopps 'a Daisy, I made a mistake'. Daisy looked at me and said 'That's my name' and got the giggles.

I flow on the loving strands of daily rounds. The shared love, support, encouragement and above all understanding. The 'Ohh you'll never guess what', 'How are you diddling?', 'How was your day?', 'I saw this and thought of you', the 'I had an idea, thought, feeling' ones, the 'Goodnight, sweet dreams' and at times the much needed downloading to clear head space. The calling out 'Hello' whenever any of us come home to our loving harbour.

That is all anyone wants, to be loved and understood. It's as natural as air. Life flows and we are all a part of it and what we flow is part of the whole. What we hold inside of ourselves flows out. Everything in constant motion. It's the air that we all share, the energy we all create. ❤

Two remarkable women……

Sunset

Two remarkable women have passed away this week and they are linked. They never knew each other here on earth, but just as we are all linked, so are they. Each of them had hearts broken and their hearts expanded through the cracks and shone a bright light for those that were blessed to know them.

Suzanne and I met when we worked together a good few years ago now. The loving links that were forged during those days still hum with love for all of us linked from that time. I will never forget her kindness and understanding when I walked away from my husband and marriage. It was a few days afterwards, I was barely functioning and Suzanne and I were sent to man a stand at the National Schools Exhibition. We showed up and did our stuff and halfway through the day she bobbed away for a few minutes and returned with a gift. It was a notebook beautifully bound in velvet of all purple shades and sparkly beads. ‘Write down why you made this decision’ she smiled at me ‘because in six months time you will need to remind yourself of the reasons’. How wise she was and I filled that notebook. There were many other moments of kindness and shared understanding through the years. When she was diagnosed with cancer, we all held the hope that her courage alone would knock the ball right out of the park. Suzanne tackled this part of her journey with humour, huge love, bravery and an expanding heart. It encompassed her children, her best buddy and husband James, his daughters and their wider family and friends. She was smiling right up to the end of her time here on earth.

Our Aunty Tessa, my Dad’s eldest sister, slipped away to her loved ones who have gone before yesterday and she has left so many memories. Tessa faced a challenge when she was left alone with five children to bring up and how she flowed with that one is inspiring. She became a foster mum for newborn babies and from birth to six weeks they would come into her care, before they went on to their new families. Tessa’s way with babies was a joy to watch and many, many little ones passed through her loving and capable hands. One special little soul was poorly as he had fluid on the brain. He was operated on and a pump was placed into his head and I can see Aunty Tessa now holding him on the kitchen table and hand pumping the device to keep him alive and to drain the fluid away several times a day. Sebastian and Tessa bonded and there was no way she could part with him, so she adopted him and ‘Freddie’, as we all lovingly call him, became one with us all. I have a clear memory hours after Emily was born when my Mum and Tessa came to visit us girls in hospital. Aunty Tessa held Emily and checked her over. She just knew what to look for. She looked at me across Emily’s little head and said ‘She’s perfect Jane’ and she still is. Tessa and Mum sat on the end of my bed and talked about when their first babies were born and I can still see Aunty Tessa’s face, because it transformed and she looked young and carefree again as she was transported back in time with her happy baby memories. So many memories as my lovely Aunty loves animals and nature as I do. There was egg collecting, goat keeping, ducks, chickens and so many lovely gardens, because boy did Tessa love to move house! So many babies and little ones in the family were tucked up in blankets and taken for a spin around the garden in her wheelbarrow. With a minimum of fuss she met and married Uncle Tony and I remember all their visits as they used to pop in to see me and my family, wherever we were. Gifted homemade jam, eggs and baking…it’s a family tradition. I bet they are having one grand tea party in spirit now.

Love flowing from both these women, whose hearts simply kept expanding no matter what they faced. I love them both and my heart goes out to those who are grieving. ❤

Love weaving through stories, vulnerability, heartfullness and authenticity…

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Emily made me these butterflies a few years ago and when they go up love is here.

I have just offered a shelf system up against the bathroom room so our landlord can tell if it is level before he fixes it in place. The Victorian wall behind it is undulating to say the least, so is it truly level? Not according to the spirit level, but we have gone by eye and what feels right. We now have a full house and there are three of us girls with bedrooms on the first floor, so thoughtfully our landlord is installing extra shelves in the bathroom. We have other bathroom options in our home, but this bathroom has a huge bath and there is much comfort in our bottles and nurturing lotions nestling together as we share the space.

It’s an authentic bathroom.

I have my inner peace back and am grateful to be reuniting with my authentic self. It has helped me to realise why I lost her in the first place and surprisingly how far back that goes.

We all have vulnerabilities and circumstances that we flow with in our daily lives. To be afraid to acknowledge those vulnerabilities, never mind speak about them to others, is how we protect ourselves. It’s how we manage. Sadly it can lead to a disconnectedness that leads to disharmony and loss of self. Those circumstances can also lead to a definition of self that is not authentic.

I have debt from my marriage and yes, I have reduced it by a considerable amount and managed to live with it, but I have allowed the feelings of failure and ‘pinch’ to define me. All leading to a sense of loss of self. Money is an energy and debt can lead to more debt and it’s a tricky thing to get hold of. It, and I, have tumbled while trying to get to grips with it.

My beautiful daughter has struggled with the breakdown of our family unit and as her Mum, her pain is my pain. She made the decision last year to step away from me in an effort to make sense of how she felt. We have a thin thread of connection, so there is not total silence between us, but grief was born the day of her decision.

I have been doing my best to manage and flow love to both situations, in the ever held hope that balance will be restored.

I threw myself into setting up the workshop where I restored and re-upholstered furniture. Never having done anything like this before I learned as I went, asking for advice, watching clips on the internet and always saying ‘I can have a go at that’ and I did. Whilst doing this I decorated the workshop inside and out and decorated the flat I was renting from a friend. I glance back now and I was running full pelt away from pain. My sense of self as a Mum and a competent business woman had taken a hammering and I was living fueled by loss.

My authentic self was drowned out and into this mix came Paul.

I have always loved nature, people (especially little ones) and animals. I did not go into detail with him on my past, or my vulnerabilities, but I said enough for the manipulation to start. He shared his huge family with me and we all delighted in our new connections. The first time I met his younger daughters we sat at the kitchen table together making cards and amidst the glitter, paint and glue we started to love each other. At family gatherings little grandchildren would potter near us and climb on my lap to play and natter. Older grandchildren would visit so that we could send time together. Paul offered me some time off (with no deadline), so that when I first moved in with him he could be a real partner. He offered rest, recovery, a safe haven and I could choose how I flowed my time. I could potter in the house nesting, or spend time with the animals helping to milk, look after the herd and also I could learn how to lamb. The money that I had coming in could completely go towards debt clearance. He would help me carry the load. I could talk to him about anything, be myself and my defences came tumbling down. Being part of a huge family was a joy for me and my cup runneth over.

He drew me in to be a part of the script of his life and the film was fake.

Now I have worked out the ‘why’ and ‘how’ it happened and I am coming back to my authentic self. There is freedom in telling the story.

To live with an open heart is to show vulnerability, yet I have learned that to have defences is to live in fear. In running from pain I lost touch with my authenticity.

Self awareness is key.

I am aware of my circumstances, yet they do not define me. I can feel my pain, yet I do not live in fear.

In the stillness I am authentic and love is the only voice.


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