Posts Tagged 'feelings'

Sparks in the gloom…

Life has flowed with a few challenges lately and I've been left gasping for air at times.

I lay there in the middle of one sleepless night and simply did not know what to do to soothe myself. My wisdom said 'Stay still and do nothing.' Then I sensed a lovely dog in spirit on the bed beside me and felt my Gran and her Mum, my Great Gran, close by my side. A feeling of calm settled in and I could let the feelings I had be, just as they were. Breathing in the experiences, breathing out the feelings.

I needed unconditional love, so the next day I asked my heart family if I could borrow their lovely boy, Boris, the German Shepherd. 'Absolutely' was their swift reply and he's coming to stay with me for a week after Easter. ❤

That sparked another idea and I ordered insurance, new wellies and some marketing postcards. Say 'Hello' to Jane's Dog Walking Service. My old flowery wellies have done two years sterling work, so I took my new ones out at lunchtime today and christened them in the sea. I also found some more sea glass and treasure to add to my collection.

My heritage is rich with hand crafts, so it is no surprise that I turn to that for comfort again and again. My lovely buddy Pam and I set off on Friday to a local art gallery, as they were running a Creative Think Tank, with taster sessions on all sorts of crafts being showcased. I had it in my head that I would finally get to have a go at wood carving, which has been a long held dream, and willow basket weaving. You just know this didn’t go to plan don’t you? We had a great time and saw all sorts of wonderful things, while discovering that the basket weaving and wood carving courses were out of our financial reach right now. Then the unexpected happened. I had made a connection with one of the receptionists when we arrived and he was looking after everyone by keeping the whole event flowing. Pam was absorbed trying out a Viking weaving loom and having a great time. I glanced up and Mark came over and said ‘There’s more going on in other rooms Jane, can I show you?’ So off we went and I found myself at a table where a lovely lady was demonstrating rug making with re-cycled materials. I took a seat and Alison let me have a go weaving strips of old t-shirts into hessian and I was right there, in the moment. She showed me what materials to try and what to back the rugs with. The edging stitch that holds it all together is new to me, but my Granny said in my head ‘I can show you that Jane’. I’d discovered a new joy. As I sat at home later, knitting, my creative sparks started to fly. I have been a painter since I can remember when and for the last few years it has stopped ‘talking’ to me. With the rug making I can chalk and ink my design on the hessian and by hooking in re-cycled materials, there is more leeway. It doesn’t have to be precise and as the freedom of this sunk in, well I am sure my heart singing could be heard far and wide.

It’s been dark and raining like ‘billy-ho’ today and then just as I finished my new wellie walk, the sky brightened and the clouds looked as if they had been brushed on the blue.

When the lights go out……

In Edwardian times this house was lovingly built to shelter maritime widows and various rescue projects have been attempted in the last few years, though none have taken root yet.

I feel the loving light around this place.

We all shine a light, even though some of us feel that our light has dimmed, if not gone out completely. I hear the words ‘I feel nothing’, ‘I feel restless’ and ‘I feel lost’ so often. This disconnection we are experiencing as a society is also felt within. It’s chicken and egg as to what came first, but there is no denying that it is there.

I recall years ago a heated conversation with an experienced consultant. We were handling a project together and she was livid that I was giving space and time to incorporate people’s feelings into what we were doing. Her reaction was pure emotion (which was ironic) and she was adamant that by focussing on the tasks at hand, the project would be completed. My stance was that we all act from how we feel, so if people’s feelings were not acknowledged then it would undermine whatever activity was taking place. True connection comes from people being seen (obviously within reason) so to deny feelings was storing up a whole heap of trouble for later. She accused me of being ‘girly’, we agreed to disagree and I stepped back. She is still working as a business consultant and I am now a therapist.

Reaching out to connect fully can be felt, every time. Everything is energy and listening, a loving thought shared, a smile seen, a cheek kissed, loving words heard, hands held and dreams gifted space to spark, all flow out as loving energy.

Love is felt and builds connection. ❤


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