Posts Tagged 'flow'

Healing forgiveness…

Today is a mild, cotton wool cloud kind of day and there is a Spring softness everywhere. I have just come in from sitting outside eating my lunch, watching the water and life flowing past. The man of the house is sitting fishing off the prom and there is a contented energy from him that is catching the drift of nature out there.

This is a special home we all share and the loving feel has been healing. My landlady, with the man of the house by her side, has been flat out this week getting a project finished. As I went outside to take regular breaths of fresh air from work their voices have floated across calling me to come and see their progress. Many funny stories and shared views on life have followed and I have so much gratitude for the love and space I have in their shared home. One of life’s gifts.

Yesterday the special man who kept flowing loving patience my way till I climbed my fear walls and met him on the other side, took me out for the day. We held hands and went exploring; seeing places that are heartfelt for him, pausing for coffee, venturing into a marina, stepping back into the past at a hall and grounds that are unspoilt, walking in meadows and by streams and across little bridges, discovering chocolate box streets with abundant flower pots and hanging baskets, sharing a delicious dinner, singing along to songs in the car and parking up to breath in sweeping views. Sharing, with much laughter and syncronicity. A precious life gift.

I am so unused to being treated romantically with loving respect that today I have needed to be my own counsel. Past choices, dead end decisions, disappointment and hurt started to play out like a painful film in my head. ‘Hang on a minute’ I thought, ‘this is not balanced old girl.’

Self soothing is the order of the day with all the little things that I have discovered work in a loving way, while I potter about in my ‘happy bubble’. Funnily enough, writing is one of them.

Opening up to live fully happens gradually and moves you into vulnerability and heaps of self forgiveness is in the mix.

Holding onto choices made in the past, that ended in disappointment and pain, is a weight that will break anyone eventually. All the loving goodness that has flowed, and may be flowing now, can stay buried if we hang onto the pain.

We are all doing our best and doing whatever we need to do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Some may not understand our actions, may question our choices and at times go into attack mode. When life gets messy, folk get scared. Yet in this split second, it is all past.

In this present moment new choices can be made and love can flow organically in it’s own sweet way. ❤

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Peaceful moments ….

sdr

Sunday

Sunday morning and a shaft of light broke through and the only sound was the cathedral bells mingling with the call of the birds.

This afternoon The Mersey looks polished and the shadows of light make Liverpool appear as if it is resting on stilts in the water. You can feel the peace in this home as a loving energy.

I wake up saying ‘thank you’ and feel it throughout my days as I potter around working, creating and connecting.

My heart swells with gratitude for the blessings of the loving connections and all the sparks that flow into each and every day. I sit here watching the tides and without expectation I know, simply know, that all is balanced in the flow.

We can spend our lives going ‘Well, what about this and what about that?’ and ‘How about this and how about that?’ An endless cycle of worry, concern, upset and fretting. Yet the heart knows. The heart knows that if we can just pause in a moment, the light will shine in. If we can just stop the endless tape of words and thoughts running through our heads, just for a moment, then we find peace in the pause.

dav

Tuesday

Do you remember when?

Teapot Love

I have been soothing myself by creating all sorts of knitted things and a local shop has been stocking them. My Mum caught the bug and between us we have created quite a stock. I run on instinct and after a while all the words from the business owners up the hill were not translating into action. All sorts was going on and money was not flowing my way either. I called ‘time’ last week, had a graceful conversation and carried all the remaining stock back home.

No matter how adept we become at ‘letting go’ of others hurtful words and actions and leaving them at source, it can take it’s toll. Dr.Wayne Dyer, a special soul, used to say that we don’t die from a snake bite, it’s the poison that kills us.

I sat for a few days looking at my knitting basket and did nothing with it. I tucked the stock away and pondered on various options and not one resonated. Fiddlesticks, I thought, here we go again as another bright idea bites the dust. Fears were evident as old snake bites stung.

A few days later a loving friend sent a message asking if I had time to make a special surprise present for a happy event in her family. I replied immediately and we started discussing the details. I ❤ her.

My characterful and kind landlady calls my creativity 'titting about' and I gifted myself a 'titting about day' today. Mid morning I needed to pop out to the Post Office, so without thinking I put three of my teapot creations in a straw bag and I set off. Coming out from doing my postie bits and pieces there was a bright penny on the pavement. I bent and picked it up, held it in my hand and felt a bit of magic. Still not thinking I walked down to sea and there on the front is a shop, where I have never been, that sells antique treasures in an old tea room setting. I went in and ordered a bowl of soup and sat there soaking up the atmosphere and breathed……

I was in Miss Marple's world as the family who run the place looked after everybody and everywhere I looked there were reminders of times gone by. Old fashioned tablecloths, handmade lace doilies with mis-matched beautiful china, bunting on the ceiling, antique lamps and old pictures of New Brighton adorning the walls. The gentle music turned out to be a customer's granddaughter playing the piano and her granny's face as she sat there and told me all about her was a joy to see. Every table was full, yet the conversation was gentle as teapots were re-filled and coffee cups were topped up. My soup and homemade bread was delicious.

As I went to pay I realised they took cash and I only had my cards on me. The 'Mum' of the family reassured me and said I could bring the money in when I could. I left and went straight to a cash point machine, giving myself a massive pep talk (silently in case you were wondering) and returned to pay. I gathered courage and talked to them about my creations, showed them my teapots and also asked whether I could perhaps use their lovely place to start a creativity group.

Bless the magic universe, because not only are they going to stock my creations, but I have also been invited to join their knitting group on Thursday mornings.

I came home with their kindness wrapped around me and I can't wait to show my Mum and Dad this special place.

Where love is the harbour…

Harbour

Children play in our street and I love hearing their happy sounds. One of our neighbours mends bicycles and he can often be seen testing them up and down the road. His children come back from school and sit chatting to him as he works in his front yard and his wife brings him a drink and they spend time together. He flows love into his work; that love flows out to all that pass by and beyond a shadow of doubt, it wraps around his family.

I love going to the open air gym in the park and walking down by the sea. An added joy is I am getting to know the other walkers, joggers and dogs. Oh the dogs ❤ Shadow wants to play and walk close by, sharing what he sees. Gus the lurcher (still a beautiful puppy) throws himself up for a hug. His 'Dad' commented this morning that he loves the first part of the day and smiling at him I nodded and said 'It's full of hope isn't it?' He smiled back and said 'I never check the weather Jane'. The weather is what it is and the dogs bound about greeting each other, chasing balls, sniffing everything they can, bringing fellow spirits together and gifting us all the opportunity to share.

My Mum is busy knitting baby dresses to go into the stock at my friend's shop and our messages, emailed photos and calls going back and forth are a joy. 'I've made this, what do you think?', 'I've run out of wool, what about 'so and so' to finish it, would that work?' and yesterday's hilarious one. 'I have finished the teapot cosy, but a single strawberry took about three hours to create, so I am changing the plan!'. Mum and I are soothed by knitting, creating and having somewhere to flow them on to, gives us a purpose. There is love in every stitch. I have wrapped the strawberry up in tissue paper and it's going to Daisy in a parcel with other gifts from Aunty Lynn. A memory floated up then from last Sunday, as I made a hash of knitting a row, I went to unpick it and said 'Oopps 'a Daisy, I made a mistake'. Daisy looked at me and said 'That's my name' and got the giggles.

I flow on the loving strands of daily rounds. The shared love, support, encouragement and above all understanding. The 'Ohh you'll never guess what', 'How are you diddling?', 'How was your day?', 'I saw this and thought of you', the 'I had an idea, thought, feeling' ones, the 'Goodnight, sweet dreams' and at times the much needed downloading to clear head space. The calling out 'Hello' whenever any of us come home to our loving harbour.

That is all anyone wants, to be loved and understood. It's as natural as air. Life flows and we are all a part of it and what we flow is part of the whole. What we hold inside of ourselves flows out. Everything in constant motion. It's the air that we all share, the energy we all create. ❤

“We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.” The Tempest by William Shakespeare

Pirate Ship

Tim West, a wonderful actor, and his wife Pru who is also a naturally gifted actress, have filmed a series of canal journeys. Their programs are a joy to watch. This weekend Tim stood on the stage of a very old theatre in Sweden and recited this piece from Shakespeare’s Tempest. It caught my heart, and along with recent events, sparked this post.

Things have unfolded in our shared house as a pattern is playing and several of us are battling with lack of sleep. All reasonable requests are being ignored and it is time for me to sail my ‘boat’ into a new berth. I can often be found suggesting to clients that no-one ever does anything to us. People make choices on how they behave and we then have choice of how we behave. It cuts right through the need for ‘hero’ and ‘victim’ labelling and personal ‘boxing’. I don’t mean physical boxing here, although several times recently the desire to turn a certain person’s hidden attributes into a handbag has been very tempting! Anyhow, I digress and this lack of labelling means we can avoid imprisoning ourselves into situations and feeling trapped. It helps life to flow.

My decision to find a new berth took me to a meeting this morning with a kindred soul. I sat in a front room while my soon to be landlady made us coffee and I soaked up the atmosphere of her home. I was surrounded by loved pieces of furniture, art and china that have been collected and as I looked around I smiled. There are artistic and sparkly touches everywhere. We chatted about all sorts and when we bobbed upstairs to look at my room, and the little sitting room, kitchen and bathroom that I will share with another lodger, I kept saying ‘Ohhhh’ and ‘Ohhhh’ again.

I can write and thrive there. It’s divine timing at work and blessings are flowing, as always.

My new found friend and I parted with promises that I would move in there in a few weeks time. I walked down the road to the sea and The Mersey and there was the pirate ship pictured here. There were ribbons and notes from children left there from Easter weekend fluttering in the wind. I looked across to Liverpool and pictured myself on the ferry travelling to the next writers group meeting and I smiled.

I turned the corner and visited my friend in her café, The Driftwood. Hugs and a catch-up natter followed, as we looked at the latest local art to cover her walls. I sat in the window watching the sea eating a yummy bowl of her homemade soup and rested a while.

You see, this is a change yes, but it’s not an uprooting. My heart and soul are here and I am simply changing berth in the same harbour. I walked back up through the shops where I am known. I blew a kiss to the lovely souls in the chemist, I waved to my buddy in the card shop and I popped in for a natter with the lovely man who runs the fish and chip shop. I don’t eat meat, fish or dairy anymore. I am totally vegan now and there was one night recently when I was exhausted and needed food. I bobbed out to the shops and failed to find anything. This was not one of my best planning days. Anyway, I bobbed into Nashad’s and he made me a yummy stir fry of vegetables and I will never forget his kindness. We always have a wonderful chat about his farm back in Turkey and life in general.

Love flows with all these loving links and this is the place to bring my dream of writing a book into reality. The bonds that have been made with ‘the girls’, as we call ourselves in our current home, will still flow and we will continue to love each other and spend time together.

On course and sailing straight….with love, always with love.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and flies like a duck…..chances are it’s a duck!

Sea Spray

A few days ago I stood at the local animal sanctuary and soaked up their surroundings for the first time. I watched a little pony called Poppy, on a lead reign, all ready for her daily constitutional down the lane. The simplest route to start her walk was through the main field full of donkeys and Poppy wasn’t having any of it. She had dug her back hooves in and several volunteers were trying their best to get her to shift. It’s for her own good they assured us. The lady who set this sanctuary up, and has run it for fourteen years, wisely kept silent and observed. She and I stood back and talked quietly. This is a pony who just wants a little girl to love her. The other horses, ponies and donkeys nip her backside whenever she comes near and Poppy’s displacement is there for those that can see. Eventually, they walked her round the edge of the other empty fields and went down the lane, where Poppy went without a murmur. She has her reasons, because animals feel, have memories and only have their bodies to communicate with us. I have offered to walk and groom her when I am down there. Best of British luck to anyone trying to get her to do anything that she feels uncomfortable with, as Poppy clearly knows what’s best for her.

I watched a little boy riding his bike on the sea path yesterday. His Mum, a baby strapped to her front, and Gran were walking behind as he sped along with a very whizzy helmet on his head. He got a little way ahead and the waves were throwing up a lot of spray, so his Mum called out to him to stop. He carried on. She called again and I watched his back tense and he kept going. His Mum called again, but kept her tone light. She and I looked at each other and laughed. We agreed that he was doing a quick risk assessment on his situation and weighing up his options. We watched for a few moments and he stopped, but he didn’t turn around. All three of us women smiled at each other.

I have had a lovely idea for the last two days to get some new creative painting done. This has not happened due to unexpected things popping up, other folks plans demanding my attention and ‘WTH’ moments. I say ‘WTH’ because my Mum reads this, but really I said something completely different. One of my dearest buddies on the service I work on has this daily mantra; ‘Try not to get angry, tired or hungry’. With this in mind I stocked up on fresh fruit and veg at the market yesterday and bought some ‘Sleepytime’ tea. I have not yet reached the point of needing to dust my new artistic materials, purchased with much excitement and anticipation, so I hold hope for a window of opportunity today.

There is grace in acceptance isn’t there? Things are as they are. Now about the duck……..

Life’s cake made with love, happy tales, more love and trust…..

Our valley

My sister, who has been so very poorly, has recovered enough to come over so we could spend the day together and she could have a change of scene. A gentle stroll was undertaken on the highest hill here. I think it’s a mountain, but I am assured by the locals it is not. Anyway, we drove up to a midway vantage point, and then sensibly booted, we set off to walk the rest of the way up, gently, so very gently. It was a warm day and very peaceful up there, but it wasn’t long before our nattering and laughter could be heard. It was a very still and misty day down in the valley below and there we were strolling along and every now and then I would say ‘Over there is so and so’. ‘Ah ha’, Debs would reply peering into the mist. After a while it became a running joke and she was heard to comment ‘Give up Fan, I trust you’. She has called me ‘Fan’ since we were teenagers, because she said I always ‘Fannied about’. I mean really, how rude, and I might add, blatantly untrue!

My special pressie

I have been putting hours in on the support service and my energy flags, unsurprisingly. My lovely friend, who was right in the middle of moving home last weekend, dealing with the builders in his new home and managing his business, paused and baked me a cake. He wanted to do something that would sustain me through my working weekend. It was as yummy as it looks and yes, I did share it. Also, Trev has now discovered a sure fire way to render me speechless, as I stood with the cake in my hands, eyes filled with happy tears and silent…..silent for quite some time. Then I hugged him.

Jason Garner

I have been following Jason Garner’s thoughts and writings for some time now and we have flowed thoughts and comments to each other over the web. Recently an unexpected email dropped into my Inbox from Jason offering to gift me a copy of his latest book. I am so touched by his loving thoughtfulness. Everything this man does is wrapped in love and the parcel package even had the words ‘Wrapped with love by…a name and a smiley face’. I am savouring and enjoying every word of Jason’s first book ‘And I breathed…..from a life of matter, to a life that matters’. A joy to read and it is a joy to be connected to such a loving soul.

Chris's picture

My postman is very aware of where I live, because another parcel arrived yesterday. A gift filled with much love and thoughtfulness and I can see this beautiful picture hanging on my wall as I write this post. Christine Moran Poet, Writer and Photographer is a treasured friend of mine. This photograph is one of my favourites, taken by Chris in her garden, and beautifully framed to hang on my wall. Her loving card is on my writing desk and her enclosed angel friendship heart is hanging on my door post. Love poured from her parcel.

Flowers

Trev brought these flowers to my front door yesterday with a smile. He wanted to flow care and for me to have something beautiful to look at while I worked from my desk. His loving offer of a home cooked meal in his new home tonight, and the space to explore some new ideas to ‘nail a challenge’ I currently face, was gratefully accepted by me. I think I’ll wear a frock.

Penny

One of my neighbours and I have a special connection. Alison and I have both been on various trips around life’s watermill and that gives us an understanding beyond words. There is much laughter and ‘Oh you’d never guess what’s….’ as we bob into each other’s apartments sharing love, cake, milk, sugar, clothes pegs, coffee, Welsh tea bags (delicious), my washing machine that I turn on with a ball point pen, her oven when mine gives up the ghost, trips into town, potters around local markets, ‘Ohh, look what I made today…’ moments, walks through the grounds to collect fallen apples and conkers, a shared love for living here and Penny. Alison’s dog Penny is a delight and she comes with us on our adventures and I often glance around to see her sleeping on the end of my bed as I am working. She sits between us as we natter and plan. Love flows from Penny in a constant stream and when you cuddle her she leans in.

As Jason and Trev always say, Hugs x


Jane Sturgeon

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