Trees, leaves, sunlight and magic….

Spring leaves

From the window where I work there is a line of trees opposite. In the few short weeks I have been living here the leaves have burst forth and they are full and rustling in the breeze today. There are two trees in the middle that have a ‘silveryness’ and today something magic happened. The sun was shining down and catching the reflection on the leaves. It was as if hundreds of glittery lights were swaying and tumbling down the trees and it was spell binding to watch. ❤

I was grateful for nature's display, because the customer requests today were angry and had a fair degree of 'stickiness' as their theme. I flowed with loving versions of empathy, ease, different perspectives, letting go and acceptance. They chose to rant. I wanted to share with them the view of these trees in all their beauty, but they are not yet ready to listen. In Autumn, the trees will let go and all the leaves will fall to the ground and nourish the soil to enable them to rest through wintertime, ready to burst forth again in the Spring. ❤

Three decisions in my camp over the weekend will flow some changes through in the next few weeks. I am starting my own writer's group, having my hair cut short and have had my request to join the local weekly pub quiz team accepted. These are all good moves I feel. Setting up the writer's group has propelled me out to meet and talk to different people. If it doesn't pan out, at least I will have made new friends. Having my hair cut will 'let go' of the security that long hair makes me feel attractive. If I don't like it, then I can always grow it again. Last, but not least, bless the quiz team, because they will save me from talking to myself and the television when quiz programs are broadcast. ❤

A friend sent a text this afternoon to say he was walking on the prom by the pirate ship and he shared a magic moment. There is a wishing post by the ship and people leave keepsakes there. A little one, with the help of her Mum and Dad, said 'Goodbye' and tied her two dummies on with ribbon. An official ceremony to mark the occasion as her Mum and Dad and all the lovely people on the prom clapped and cheered her. Pure magic. ❤

Loving notes………

DSC_0260

Lynn left work early on Friday and came home with flowers, glorious roses, which now nestle in one of her jugs in my little sitting room upstairs. They are beside Em’s beautiful bowl she made when she was young and Jojo, my sister in law’s, gifted butterfly picture. I smile every time I look over there.

It has been a busy week and as Friday afternoon unfolded, with continuing techie problems flowing through, I messaged HQ at 4pm-ish and let them know that I was cutting loose. Loving messages and ‘Bon voyages’ were exchanged and I followed an impulse. About forty minutes walk along the promenade from home one of the ferries to Liverpool shuttle back and forth. I set off and caught it for the first time since I moved here. It’s a ten minute ride across The Mersey and I could feel the week lifting off and away as I stood ‘up top’ and at the front holding the rail. I loved every second of it. It berths at the docks in Liverpool and I trusted my instincts to guide me up through the city to one of my favourite haunts. Liverpool’s Central Library. Sigh….. I have not been able to settle into a book for some time now and it was time to ease past this situation. I pottered inside and picked up quite a few books, then bought a coffee and headed up to the roof terrace. You’ll love this bit, as I got so engrossed in the first book I picked up, I completely lost track of time. It started to get a bit chilly and I gathered myself together and walked back through the city to the docks. There I watched the ferry sailing across towards home. The realisation that it was the last one that day dawned on me as no-one else was waiting and also, all the roller shutters were down on the gangway and the cafe was closed. ‘Ahhh…’ I thought as I stood there, ‘Right, now where’s the nearest train station?’ I found it and was soon settled on a train, reading again, as I headed for home. When I got back, Lynn chuckled sympathetically and gave me a ferry timetable. On this unplanned adventure I discovered new parts of the city and also, if I buy a ‘day saver’ ticket I can go on the local buses, trains and on a ferry excursion cruise which lasts fifty minutes. Now there’s a cracking thought for another day. Marvelous.

This weekend I have been creating and finishing off various projects in readiness to stock a space in a local craft shop. I also spent a lot of time reading and have finished one book already, which was bliss.

Probably going hand in hand with the reading, I have not been writing much either. I pushed myself and offered to write an article for a friend’s online magazine this week. I asked him what subject he would like me to cover and his reply was ‘Whatever you want to Jane’. I had a look and saw that the current contributors are all trained in various spiritual practices and disciplines and this is what they write about. This walloped me right out of my comfort zone, as I am untrained. I managed to avoid writing anything yesterday and then as today started I pottered about and had a ponder. I was untrained in furniture restoration and re-holstering, but I had a go. I work each day reaching out a loving hand to those in difficulties, which works best when I get out of the way of it and just let my spirit guides do their lovely thing. So I went into that mode to write. I sat here at my desk, watched the clouds for a while and breathed, then got out of the way of myself and let the words flow. There is so much written about writing tips and whatnot and the one thing I have found is not to write as if someone is reading it as you write. Try not to logic it. So, I said ‘Hello’ to my heart and spirit and then let go as it flowed. I will keep you all posted on whether this 1,000 odd worded flow will be accepted or not.

Spring is here and I am walking each morning in the freshness of the day, then coming back to this lovely home and seeing what blossoms forth. Whatever happens it all springs from love. ❤

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way ~ Viktor E. Frankl

DSC_0131

I bobbed out yesterday to spend a bit of time at my soon to be new berth. Lynn’s lovely home is a treat to be in and as soon as I logged off from work I shot over there like a bullet out of a gun. As I rounded the corner there was a horse and pony grazing on the green opposite. It’s Easter holidays here and the children were watching in delight.

Lynn and I had a great time planning my move and where things will go next weekend. Her home is full of thoughtful touches and her care continued as she suggested a desk in the sitting room window. I can work, write and look outside at the green, the sky and life. That keeps work out of my bedroom and I think this will add to my inner peace.

I sailed out of there into Morrison’s to do some grocery shopping and when I came to pay I discovered that I had forgotten my purse. So I went back home, returned to Morrison’s, paid for my shopping and then walked back up the hill again. That’s when feelings started to rise up. As Sarah and I sat nattering and eating our dinner together last night I wept. I am upset about change again, angry at our landlord for not seeing the situation that he has created and I woke up this morning still thoroughly out of sorts. In this line of work you are front line and can’t hide. So I tried to ‘park’ how I felt and work anyway. This plan failed and my lovely colleagues stepped in and hands were held out with support.

I can handle the practicalities of the move, yet the emotions are a different thing and have got a wee bit tangled up. I am scared of hurt, of things going awry, of having to deal with goodness knows what, so I am not allowing myself to feel hopeful about this change.

As one colleague said this morning ‘Jane, lean on me, I am here, for goodness sake lean’. So I leant. Not my normal stance, but hey it’s time for change. Change happens all the time and if I can lean into this one and melt into each moment, then my attitude stays balanced. It is what it is and I am surrounded by loving support. Letting go of any expectations, including fear filled ones, is lovingly graceful. I also get to see Mum and Dad this weekend and to drive a hired van. Such fun. Ohh, and I have booked a manicure, after all self nurture needs to be practical too doesn’t it?

Our hearts are home….

DSC_1853

There is so much shifting in the world right now, and I know from my own life and listening to others, that many souls are feeling it. Life, as always, continues to flow forward and there are a few things that ease that flow for me; love, trust, stillness, time and acceptance.

We all get so very busy doing this and that in daily life, that we can lose the sound of our inner voice. I had a plan and it felt right and I spent hours researching, investigating, exploring and trying to make this happen. My plan was to set-up a business that flowed care to others in a therapeautic way, with support and creative expression….perfect I thought. Life had other ideas. At every turn I got blocked and no matter how hard ‘I shook the tree’ my flow was not flowing!

I stopped, went still inside and let it simply be for a while. We fear stillness, because within it we ‘see’ ourselves and our patterns and that may not be a comfortable reality. As a naturally nurturing soul I was caught up in empowering others to find balance. I lived and worked in this way and have ended up worn out and emotionally exhausted.

Time to be still.

My inner voice said ‘What do you feel drawn to?’ and the answer was clear. Creativity. My authentic self craves expression in painting, writing and creating.

OK, I acknowledged the reality of what I was seeing. My first thought was ‘I need some workshop space to create in’ and within twenty four hours it all flowed, in ways that I could not have imagined or planned. Cosmic flow ‘knows’ so much better than I do!

Life has gifted workshop space to share with another artist not ten minutes from Mum and Dad’s home and I start to move in tomorrow. It is a huge industrial loft space with great iron girders above and old wooden floorboards holding us safe beneath our feet. The feeling in this place is so peaceful that I just stood there and breathed it in on my first visit. It is near to the river too and I can foresee many future moments gathering strength and inspiration from nature down there. I will be making furniture, re-vamping furniture, painting and creating loving objects for the home.

In the same day, just in case I had not got the message clearly, I had a request to look after one of my favourite dogs several times over the Spring and Summer, a possible flat to live in that is currently being re-vamped and will be ready by Summertime (again not ten minutes away from Mum and Dad and five minutes from the workshop) with a trusted friend as my landlord, newly found links to various outlets to sell my creations and a request to organise a psychic event to promote a local artists’ collective. So many blessings and possibilities.

I made the decision to flow away from the online service with gratitude for all I have learned from my years working on there. Letting go to allow space for the ‘new’ to flow in and carrying in my heart the loving connections made.

Trusting that all is meant to be and will continue to flow forward, and so long as I nurture the love in my heart, I am home.

Stories, love, fear, acceptance, control and ‘letting go’

Em's latest painting

This painting is one of Emily’s latest and I love how her creative journey is expanding and developing. I delight in the messages and ‘Skype’ conversations that fly between us. We trust each other implicitly and bounce ideas and creations off each other at each stage, with much loving encouragement. Also, with helpful advice, laughter and cries of ‘Time for a hot chocolate….mini marshmallows with that?’ ‘You betcha…’. Her painting perfectly illustrates this blog post, which has been rumbling in the background for some time and now sees the light of day.

All our lives we have a ‘story’ running through us and our ‘story’ builds momentum as we live each day. Through the beliefs and words the ‘story’ tells us, we take our steps and make our choices. The ‘story’ is a mishmash of our childhood, our beliefs about ourselves, our experiences, how others see us and how we treat ourselves and others. It’s no wonder self nurture, healing and therapies are becoming so popular.

I work with souls who are struggling every day as they try to make sense and edit, or re-write, their ‘stories’. We are all doing this every single moment of every single day. We are bound to get weary and lost sometimes, as things get muddled and complicated.

In loving simplicity, my heart feels that we approach everything from two foundations; one out of love and the other from fear.

One of nature’s laws that we can change things by making our own choices, can be daunting to a lot of souls.

Life and people do not ‘do’ things to us.

We can change so much by editing our ‘story’ and the words we tell ourselves. With love we can look at a situation, or how someone is reacting, and choose, edit, tweak and change how we react to it. Then our thinking, feelings, words and actions flow from that reaction. We choose how we weave this into our ‘story’.

Pausing to reflect on the ‘why’ is self nurturing. Stepping forwards with love and kindness flows love to all concerned. Our personal responsibility is to our own ‘stories’.

Love to me is ever flowing. It is loving to ‘let go’ and accept how other souls flow for they too have their own ‘stories’.

It can be frightening to ‘let go’ and see where life’s flow takes us. There are so many things that are done because ‘control’ is a motivating force and that springs from fear.

‘Letting go’ is loving.

Flowing from love, trusting, moving forwards, working, being kind, taking responsibility for my ‘story’ and nurturing my open heart have all brought me to North Wales in the middle of this Summer. A totally new area for me with no previous life links, or memories at all. I had no idea why at the time, it just felt instictively good for my ‘story’ to settle here.

Days have unfolded in a beautiful setting as I nest happily in my little home. New friendships, laughter, a kind landlord, magic moments, work, family and friends visiting and a growing love for this land have all woven into my ‘story’ with a loving richness.

Now I have a beautiful soul who holds my face in his hands and says ‘I love you Jane’. As I am learning his ‘story’, he is learning mine.

Loving acceptance.

My heart is full of gratitude for the new threads weaving into my ‘story’, as I now know the ‘why’ for coming here.

Letting go for new landscapes….

North Wales beach

A friend took this picture a few hours ago on a beach forty minutes drive away from here and it captures the essence of what I felt drawn to write about today. Life’s synchronicity flowing as ever…thank you Ivan.

I am back working on the telephone service, giving fresh perspectives and loving support to clients who call from around the world. The main thread throughout most of the calls is emotional difficulties and connections that are not balanced, be they relationship, family or work based. Love flows from the spirit world through me to those in need. I have not been working full time in this kind of way for nearly a year now and in the last few days I have found myself talking to some clients that are struggling with the same challenges we explored together before. We get so very stuck in this human world of ours and there are many reasons why we hold onto the familiar, but I think it can be broken down to two simple facets. We hold on through love or fear, or both.

I am very aware that each of us have our own paths to walk and journeys to explore and it is not for any other soul to dictate to another the perceived right or wrong way to do things, or the choices to be made. We all have freedom of choice.

My choice six months ago was to let go, walk away and float for a while. I was so lost, dis-spirited and lacking in confidence at the time, that I barely knew which way was up. I just knew that I needed to let go and allow things to unfold in their own way, so I could come back to myself, but in a different landscape. I had no idea how, or where, I just had faith that it would be alright. As you are all aware that took me on a chapter of house/pet/farm sitting adventures that may just make their way into a book….

In my new landscape there is a palpable peace surrounding us here in this rural setting and much comfort flows within it. I am communicating with clients interactively by typing, so I am easing myself back in and not using my voice. The love and support flows to them through my words on the internet. I can sit here at the open glass doors, at the front of my apartment, and soak up the atmosphere of the daily round that is ‘here’, without worrying about having silence for my clients.

My daily round is friendly voices and sounds floating on the sunny air; my lovely landlord and his sidekick working away on the latest apartment conversion and mending our outside lights (which are playing up), neighbour’s dogs and cats popping in to say ‘Hello’, sunshine dancing on wooden planks of the barn opposite with the herd giving the odd ‘Moo’ from inside, sheets flapping on washing lines, birds hopping across the branches of little fir trees against the barn wall and balancing on the feeders we have placed there, a Thrush singing her heart out, a gifted Lavender incense stick from Dylan Thomas’s birth place burning on my desk and the lovely sight of my patio rose, which has fifteen buds on it and nestles next to a huge potted pink Geranium from my Mum.

It is my hope that I can send the spark of life’s magic out to those in need, so they too can find the gifts woven into letting go for new landscapes.

My patio rose

‘Nothing changes if nothing changes…’

Cherry blossom

A special friend sent this quote through ‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’ and another special friend suggested that I took time out for a ponder with the kind words ‘maybe you need a meditation not medication’.

I sat in one of the huge chairs here, looking out into the garden watching the fresh day appear. The dear little cat curled up on my lap and I had a chat with myself. I have known for some time that my poorly chest is linked to heartbreak and I was getting frustrated that each day I awoke feeling the same way. I have felt rotten every day.

Light dawned within as the day unfolded outside.

I had done all the healthy things of walking away, easing the transition with graceful love, being grateful for the life gifts from the connection and cherishing the good memories. I have been letting go of the hurt, disappointment and not traveling down ‘blame’ avenue. In my work I reach out to help souls every day with all these loving suggestions and I was getting frustrated that I remained poorly.

Ah, but it was working and I was messing it up. I was holding onto the hope that things could be mended, that there could be a different outcome. There are natural laws that run through the universe and one of them is ‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’. Holding hope for a different outcome was holding me exactly where I was and keeping me poorly. How can there be a different outcome when nothing is changing?

Truly letting go is not letting go of hope, it’s letting go of the belief that a certain outcome is the only thing that can happen.