Letting go…means letting go of the hidden stuff as well…oooppsss

My thoughtful friend Manangua, talked about ‘letting go’ in a comment he left on my blog today and he prompted this post. Manangua’s blog is a fascinating mixture of fact and fiction, with an huge dollop of depth, springing from all his travels and experiences. Stop by and have a treat.

Back to ‘letting go’….I have been on a ‘letting go’ journey since the start of this year and I am learning all the time. Right now I am having a royal battle with fear.

The lovely little cottage I now call home is perfect for me. My gratitude is spilling out as my friends will testify and our conversations are liberally peppered with ‘thanks’. They have taken to smiling at me with glazed expressions, laced with love of course.

Decks clear, the perfect environment, all my faculties (really), love and support pouring in every day, new opportunities in abundance…and what do we find? A frightened girl, that’s what we find. Me, I am frightened.

I won’t lie or fudge it, ‘letting go’ takes courage mixed with trust and faith. In the ‘letting go’ if you go into freefall (which is probably the best way as you have really let go then) you get pushed to the limit. Continuing to hold trust and faith as everything starts to settle is not easy.

A friend popped in for a ‘cuppa’ on Saturday and asked if I had dedicated each room. I did not need explanation on the ‘how’ or any further discussion, as she had planted a seed and that was all I needed. Today, as I did my first routine clean in here, I spoke to each room. I talked about what I would be doing in the space and how much love, energy and happiness there was filling each room.

I am learning how to let go of fear….

Simplicity…..

This time a week ago I moved into my new home. A whole week has just flashed past and with it comes a new realisation; life carries on, no matter what is happening in our tiny corner of the world, it carries on flowing forward and how we flow with it dictates how we feel.

The company I am currently working for has asked me to write my story about the letting go and flowing it has taken to reach this point, so I shall save that for another day. Suffice to say, it is proving hard to relax now I have my place of peace and it is almost as if I am holding my breath waiting for the next upheaval.

Last night I took an emotionally demanding call for work and when I put the phone down, I milled about for a minute after it wondering how to settle myself. There are a myriad of jobs that need doing since the move, but I refuse to pressurise myself into doing them in a rush. The last thing I need right now is a ‘to do’ list as long as my arm or any pressure whatsoever. Then my eyes alighted on the herb tray my lovely neighbours at the back had given me (with some terracotta pots) as a house warming present . Just the job to unwind I thought. I pottered about the garden collecting spare paving blocks of various shapes and sizes and built a little tower and potted up my gifted herbs. The sun was setting and the day was still warm and my peace was restored in minutes.

Life will always be life, and I will let go and flow as I have been taught, but my inner peace is very precious. Herbs and earth helped me to retain that.

In a changing landscape you choose your perspective on the view….

My lovely friends have a special home and it has helped me immeasurably to be able to walk up their garden, open the gate and step out into the fields. As fast as the suggestion is made that their dogs may need to stretch their legs, I am already halfway out of the door, and this is the view that greets us when we open the gate.

One realisation I have absorbed in the past few days is the need to let go of any feelings of hurt, anger or shock at what has happened, and that way I have my inner peace, regardless of the view that is before me.

In one day the fields changed as rainy weather closed in and we were greeted with this view at evening time.

Trying to master the art of letting go and relaxing …..

So much change and upheaval in such a short space of time and logic dictates that I really must try and kick back for a few days. I am loved as family here and daily ‘my family’ are insisting that I rest. Note to self: that means letting go of the worry, blessed lists and just being… I am making the discovery that I need to master this because so far I am swinging from fear, the need to control, tears and a complete mind blank on what I need to do next.

Nothing is the answer so maybe I need to chose an activity that helps me to let go?

When we try to do something that feels totally alien it is best to break ourselves in gently.

I think back to Sunday and our walk around the beautiful reservoir with the wildlife, little streams, sunlight filtering through the surrounding woodlands and the diamonds and boats on the water. There was also a derelict farmhouse we discovered and as we stood on the hill and looked back down to the water the peace of the place seeped in.

An idea….I will create and lose myself in that for a couple of hours.

To everything a purpose and when something becomes all shiny and new there is a process ……

Recently, over the last few months, there are many who are having a challenging time and all sorts of old memories are floating up. Some memories with not so pleasant insecurities and false beliefs attached to them. There are quite a number of theories abounding out there as to why this is happening, but that’s not the point of today’s blog post. I am a practical girl and when things happen I like to have something in my tool box to deal with it.

I thought with my past relationships done and dusted and the long break I’ve had from ‘dating’ that I was quite balanced on that front. ‘Ah ha’ says life, events have unfolded and I’ve been caught up in the above scenario, so maybe I’m not quite so sorted after all. The last thing I want to do is carry this rubbish with me or lay it at the door of Batman to fix, so here comes the tool!

I see things in pictures so when I pondered on how rotten I was feeling with the amount of ‘stuff’ popping up I came up with this idea. If the insecurities and false beliefs have no relevance to where you are now then they need acknowledging and setting free. Much like iron going into the furnace to become steel. The rusty blisters bubble up and are burnt off and shiny new metal emerges.

So when you feel an old hurt raise it’s head with the insecurity or false belief that goes with it: acknowledge it and recognise that it belongs in the past and then mentally put it in the fire.

We all deserve to appreciate a shiny new future with a lighter heart and hope held for what’s to be.