Trust…

The past few months have been a time of uncertainty, upheaval, reflection, living with the unknown, trusting and flowing love for all of us. I count my blessings in health, my loved ones, the technology that enables us to connect and the ability to work from home. From my perspective, extremes are showing themselves in behaviours and situations, which are adding to an awful lot of noise out there, making life an emotional roller-coaster to navigate. Yet, there are gifts in the way barriers, armour, subterfuge, veils, spin and deceit are being stripped away.

Without detail or judgment, a pattern of upsetting behaviour from my landlady has peaked. It is not personal as she behaves this way with everybody and up until now, I have chosen not to tackle it, thereby allowing it. Over the last three years, I have reassured family and friends that I can handle it and prided myself on being able to slip under her radar. There was a moment recently when all veils were stripped away and it was clear that enough was enough. I see it as a gift from lockdown.

My research and exploring online led me to a landlord who is professional, thoughtful and listens. When I found him and we spoke over the telephone, I kept the details brief, he asked insightful questions, pondered and made a suggestion. He felt the original place I was enquiring about was not right for me. However, there was a home his company are currently renovating and he suggested I could view it in our allocated thirty minutes a day outside for exercise, as it was empty.

It is self-contained, private, spacious, light-filled, with its own South facing walled garden, space to create, work and write, in a lovely area with a thriving community, all amenities within walking distance including the Irish Sea, nearer to my buddies and quiet. As I looked around and discovered all it had to offer, my heart started a joyful song. Afterwards, I sat outside in the car and rang him, when he caught my delighted gratitude and I felt his.

I can move on my own, observing social distancing and not putting anyone else at risk and that will happen in just under a months time.

Staying here and not tackling things out of fear, blocked so much and I can see that now. I used to call this ‘my happy bubble’ being next to the water and with the loving connections of neighbours. Nothing happens in isolation and with me thinking I could handle it, that draining energy leaked into everything and the air in my bubble became unhealthy. I have always said to those who seek my help; when a change is needed then life will squeeze you in that situation, till you can see it. The way this has unfolded and the abundance that has started to flow from the flash of insight is humbling.

How others behave is their choice. How others feel about us is their business. How we react and the choices we make are ours.

I am grateful and flowing love to you all. ❤

Sally Cronin’s Family & Friends Series over on her wonderful Smorgasbord Invitation blog…

I am delighted that Sally chose to feature one of my old blog posts, as part of the Family & Friends Series, over on her wonderful Smorgasbord Invitation blog.

Brotherly Love….

Thank you, Sally. ❤

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2020/04/07/smorgasbord-posts-from-your-archives-family-and-friends-brotherly-love-by-jane-sturgeon/

Sparks of creativity…

A few months ago, I looked across at my yarn stash and ‘saw’ a bedspread in my imagination. After a few false starts, I settled on doubled-up strands with blue and cream crocheted together as long as each ball lasted, as I wanted it to flow like the sea. A friend gifted me a load of cream from her stash and that gave me the yarn to finish. Ironically, my yarn stash has increased since I made the bedspread. No, I am not sure how that has happened either, but I suspect my long-held love affair with craft shops has something to do with it!

None of my projects are mutally exclusive and ideas came thick and fast, regardless of how many projects are in the pipeline. It’s a true lesson in life’s abundance. All the creative ideas, the many times I stand with friends holding yarn as we exclaim with delight ‘Ohh, this would make a great …….’ or I spot something beautiful that a kindred spirit has crafted and shared online. All those moments spark other moments and it flows and grows.

I am aware that the loving connections in my life may be a little weary of the facecloths I knit so I have been casting around for something different to tackle. ‘Socks’ was my lightbulb moment and no, I have never made them before. A patient friend took me sock yarn shopping and then sat and showed me how to do it on large circular needles with the ‘magic loop’ method. I discovered that there is ‘blow all’ magic in the loop method for me, as I got in a terrible pickle and decided that I can’t be alone with this challenge. A quick internet search revealed a wonderful tool called a ‘Sock Wonder’. I quickly ordered two and looked forward to no looping.

Sock creating was going swimmingly well till yesterday evening when I came to knit my first heel. The pattern may as well as have been written in ‘double dutch’ for all the sense it made to me. I held my efforts up, squinting at them, and was absolutely sure that they would never fit any kind of foot. After undoing the mess I searched the internet where a kind, farmer’s wife in America has posted clear, simple (thank you) and instructive videos. I felt soothed watching her hands work and listening to her voice. Step by step I followed her and produced a heel. She even says in her video ‘Now pause and congratulate yourself with a beverage, or at least some chocolate’. What’s not to love about her? Her channel is called ‘Purl Together’ and she’s on YouTube.

Yes, I will post a picture up when my first sock is complete.

All those years ago, when my sister and I sat learning handcrafts with our Mum, both Grannies and our Great Granny, who knew that they were gifting a loving calmness that would last a lifetime. Whenever I feel my emotional state going to places I don’t want to dwell I turn to handcrafts and am a devotee of there not being any such thing as ‘too much yarn’ or ‘too many projects’.

You know you knit too much…….when Microsoft sends through updates and you hit ‘Restart’ immediately, so you can knit while your laptop is out of action. I may have done this today! ❤

Connecting…

When I was working on the psychic line I received a telephone call that found it’s way into my heart memories and I discovered it there recently.

The lady who called was terminally ill and started the call with,

“I don’t have any questions as such, I just wanted to ring.”

In that instant, I dropped every label/shield that I was holding, as I instinctively knew she had no expectations. I wasn’t a medium, psychic, woman, mother, or anything else. I was simply one soul connecting to another.

We talked about fresh washing hanging out on the line, the sound of children’s laughter, wrapping in soft towels after a bath, birdsong at dawn, a large amount of rubbish on the telly (even though there are umpteen channels), the wisdom of avoiding the news, knitting, an absorbing play on the radio, a clean kitchen floor and the grace of expression through writing.

I shared with her a story of being out shopping with friends and two of us squealing with delight when we saw a new range of notebooks. One (somewhat pithy) member of our group commented,

“Surely one notebook is enough?”

“One? I don’t understand the question.” I replied.

We giggled over the pure joy of finding a notebook with a great cover and found ourselves agreeing that writing with heart and our own voice gifts connection. Sitting quietly she had found herself imagining stories for children and we ended our call with her intention to write them down.