Posts Tagged 'loving links'

A ‘knowing’ and gratitude for loving links….

dav

Back in New Brighton I am caring for the lovely Bella and on the beach at sunrise this morning there was a display by nature that rooted us to the spot. It was blustery and the sun rose behind dark, rain filled clouds which parted to let the light out. It shone across the watery beach and danced across the clouds in the sky opposite as a rainbow appeared underneath the image of the moon saying goodbye for the day. My heart took a picture and ‘spoke’ to my Mum and my heart buddies. I messaged them all when I got home and one of them, hundreds of miles away, was writing to me at the same time sending a picture of her sunrise.

Loving links. ❤

dav

I am loving the gift of this time with Bella.

We are having such fun together exploring the beach every morning and the hilltop streets in the afternoons. It’s only on foot that you see the detail of our surroundings and have the time to pause and drink it all in. Bella’s joy at chasing her ball and playing tag with all her lovely furry friends down by the water is a daily delight. I am blessed to meet and stroke so many lovely dogs and chat to their Mums and Dads. Bella and I have fallen into a natural rhythm for our days together and we chat away to each other. She nestles by my feet as I write and by my side as I knit and create. One of our favourite things is to sit in her Mum’s study right up at the top of the house and watch the ships and boats out at sea. As she rests on my lap, her little head leans slowly over and it took me a while to realise that she is following the vessels are they sail in and out. There is a tranquillity as we watch the wind in the trees, the birds wheeling and the sea between the chimney tops.

Loving links. ❤

From our favourite spot this morning we listened to a radio podcast of my lovely friends Chris Moran and Glenda Kerney Brown on a show last night. Both lassies write beautiful poetry and deal daily with the rigours of MS. It is a gift to hear them reading their words and feel the love that links across our life webs. Their poetry is a gift that reaches out to those who struggle to express how they feel. It is loving and brave in equal measure to share creativity in this way. Bella's Mum is an author and has recently trained as a poetry therapist. She reaches out to help those in need and here Bella and I sit in her special space, listening to loving creativity, watching nature as she shares her special display.

Loving links. ❤

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Love on the walls…

Butterfly love

There are so many higgeldy-piggeldy apartments here that we have a rustic mail box set-up under the trees in the courtyard where we park. It works and I have learnt to be quick off the mark in collecting my post when it rains. I go up there first thing each morning and a few days ago there was a little package waiting for me. When I opened it there were all these butterflies nestling in pink tissue paper and a little note on top from Emily, my daughter, saying ‘These are to match your paintings Mum’.

I look around my home and Emily is everywhere and each creative piece evokes memories. From the paintings she created especially for here, to the ceramic tea-light church and bowl she made as a child. Some of her marbles are in a vase here and their buddies are in a hand decorated Kilner jar that she uses as a door stop at Uni. Loving links and memories are everywhere.

One of my paintings

When Em was three I had a little business where I painted terracotta pots for garden centres. She’d stand by the understairs cupboard asking me what I needed ‘size wise’ and she learned to count with those pots. If I close my eyes I can see her doing it now. Often she would sit beside me painting her own. I used to leave them to dry on the kitchen windowsill and we had lovely neighbours Dave and Flo, aross the way. Dave would come up the garden path and kneel down to chat to Em. ‘What have you been making our Em?’ he used to say and she’d show him her pots. He would commission her to paint him some and she’d put the earnings into her moneybox. Dave always displayed her pots in his garden where she could see them when we walked past. We all adored him.

Both ‘us girls’ comfort, balance and work things out in life by creating. Emily has been creating lately and her paintings are on a whole new level.

Buttefly Heart

Vision

I sit here looking at her butterflies and remember the loving moment that breathed life into her latest creations. At her Dad’s there are some gorgeous new ‘grandchild’ members of her extended family. The little brothers were visiting recently and the toddler was bored, so Em got her paints out and started making pictures with him. They made a ‘handprint’ picture which he loved, so Em involved his baby brother and his Mum. There is a special video of Em holding the baby’s hands as she placed them on the canvas where he is chuckling and chatting away to her, with his little legs kicking out, and not once do his eyes leave her face. Those moments captured on film are very precious. The main canvas with all their handprints is a work of love and Em joined some of the hands as butterflies. I know their Mum will treasure those paintings and from this Em started to make butterflies and 3D paintings with hearts and butterflies.

Family Love Paintings

They are a work of love and I now have love flying on my walls. May you always create Em and flow with love Darling girl, for you will always have my love.

Butterflies

Stripped bare and the hidden wonders of vulnerability…

I had a front, a finely honed and solidly established persona that I showed the world. It carried me through some of the toughest times in my life and, glancing back, I knew of no other way to be.

My family and closest friends were used to my stock answer of ‘I am fine’ to any enquiry about how I was. Fine? I was far from it.

Recently I truly ‘let go’ and life as I knew it tumbled into dust. The loving friends who sheltered me, whilst a new path emerged, have bestowed gifts far beyond the day to day care and nurture they freely gave. A protective net extended to include some of their family and closest friends and the loving strands woven within wrap us all in safety.

In opening their home and their hearts, they have given me the gift of vulnerability. I had nowhere to run nor hide, so ‘I am fine’ would not wash. I didn’t go around weeping and wailing, instead a bare honesty emerged. Almost blinking in the daylight, I discovered that it is OK to receive and to reach out for help.

I was safely caught.

Pottering around cleaning my new nest this morning, it occurred to me that the gift of vulnerability has stopped the spiral of guilt, shame and pain that I have carried with me for years.

Now that is a good weight to lose.


Jane Sturgeon

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