Trust…

The past few months have been a time of uncertainty, upheaval, reflection, living with the unknown, trusting and flowing love for all of us. I count my blessings in health, my loved ones, the technology that enables us to connect and the ability to work from home. From my perspective, extremes are showing themselves in behaviours and situations, which are adding to an awful lot of noise out there, making life an emotional roller-coaster to navigate. Yet, there are gifts in the way barriers, armour, subterfuge, veils, spin and deceit are being stripped away.

Without detail or judgment, a pattern of upsetting behaviour from my landlady has peaked. It is not personal as she behaves this way with everybody and up until now, I have chosen not to tackle it, thereby allowing it. Over the last three years, I have reassured family and friends that I can handle it and prided myself on being able to slip under her radar. There was a moment recently when all veils were stripped away and it was clear that enough was enough. I see it as a gift from lockdown.

My research and exploring online led me to a landlord who is professional, thoughtful and listens. When I found him and we spoke over the telephone, I kept the details brief, he asked insightful questions, pondered and made a suggestion. He felt the original place I was enquiring about was not right for me. However, there was a home his company are currently renovating and he suggested I could view it in our allocated thirty minutes a day outside for exercise, as it was empty.

It is self-contained, private, spacious, light-filled, with its own South facing walled garden, space to create, work and write, in a lovely area with a thriving community, all amenities within walking distance including the Irish Sea, nearer to my buddies and quiet. As I looked around and discovered all it had to offer, my heart started a joyful song. Afterwards, I sat outside in the car and rang him, when he caught my delighted gratitude and I felt his.

I can move on my own, observing social distancing and not putting anyone else at risk and that will happen in just under a months time.

Staying here and not tackling things out of fear, blocked so much and I can see that now. I used to call this ‘my happy bubble’ being next to the water and with the loving connections of neighbours. Nothing happens in isolation and with me thinking I could handle it, that draining energy leaked into everything and the air in my bubble became unhealthy. I have always said to those who seek my help; when a change is needed then life will squeeze you in that situation, till you can see it. The way this has unfolded and the abundance that has started to flow from the flash of insight is humbling.

How others behave is their choice. How others feel about us is their business. How we react and the choices we make are ours.

I am grateful and flowing love to you all. ❤

We own nothing, everything surrounding us is temporary and the love in our hearts lasts forever.

soft wishes

Just over a week ago Mum, Dad and I were tucked up drinking tea by the log burner on an early Saturday evening. We were quietly exploring the idea that it was time for them to move on, after thirty odd years here, and find a new home for this stage of their lives.

Their marriage of fifty five years has tested them time and again on their teamwork, ability to adapt and make the best of any kind of circumstance and goodness, in thinking back, they have had a few. They have successfully brought up three children, had various businesses, renovated and re-built a fair few homes, moved to Africa in the 1970s, returned from Africa five years later having lost everything but the shirts on their backs, had health issues with a triple heart bypass for Dad and two broken shoulders with replacement titanium ones for Mum and breast cancer, and the list goes on.

Here they are now, ‘shaking the tree’ again and pulling together to downsize and simplify their lives. There is much love and humour flying about, with many long standing family jokes seeing the light of day.

Dad called out the other morning, as we were all pottering about…

Dad “I’ve had an idea.”
Mum “Oh lawd, what now…” loud enough for him to hear…
Me “She is coming your way with joyful anticipation Dad.”

Queue much laughter……

We are now a hive of activity with sorting, clearing, planning, eBaying, house hunting, doing what we all do best, so Mum and Dad land exactly where they are meant to.