Community love at Kollektiv….

Carla at Kollektiv

This week at the craft group, I met Carla and her buddy Rachel, as they dropped in to introduce themselves.

Carla has started a community hub and shop on Seabank Road in Wallasey, just up the road from where I live. It’s a community interest company (CIC), not for profit, and she is selling bespoke quirky furniture and arty home furnishings. All made by local artists and from locally sourced materials.

Her plan is to ‘yarn bomb’ trees and lampposts from Vale Park up to Seabank Road. There is a collection of unique shops up there and visitors are unaware, as they visit the promenade and park, of the treasure trove just a few streets away.

I popped in to see her yesterday lunchtime and I struggled to tear myself away.

Kollektiv is filled with a host of creativity and hope. It’s a loving energy that comes from Carla and wraps around everything. From the way all the creations are displayed, to the light spilling in across the floorboards that have been sanded and decorated with different rose patterns.

Chairs have been placed outside and different planters of painted buckets and wellies are filled with bright summery flowers, alongside water bowls for visiting dogs. Andy, next door’s antique and second hand furniture dealer, was sitting there drinking a cup of tea and sharing some of their cake. One of his re-vamped chest of drawers was displayed in Kollektiv’s window display. People were stopping to talk to Carla and share what they create and to ask how things were going. She is so natural with them all, that this is way more than just a shop.

I commented to Andy that he will flourish with the nurture from next door and his answering grin said it all.

Go Carla, as all are going to benefit from your loving spirit. ❤

Nature’s nurture…

Image from Pixabay

Boris came to stay for a few days this week, which was a lovely surprise. He reminded me of the joy of walking outside, listening to the birds and watching Spring come forth. People smile more readily at each other in the sunshine and I have soothed myself with the promise of a walk each day.

I took Boris home yesterday and stayed for a happy seven year old’s birthday celebrations. We were able to play outside and the birthday boy asked for flowers for his birthday. He wanted to know the names of plants in the garden and has also taken to climbing trees. He has the security of knowing that his cries for ‘Help’ will be heard and rescue forthcoming. The boys are now seven and five and their baby cousin is sixteen months old. The three boys sat on a blanket on the grass and chatted together and we sat and watched them and caught up on each other’s news. There is a wonderful freedom for children when they are outside.

A day full of magic moments. ❤

The little one was fractious after lunch and I asked to take him out for some fresh air. I walked us around the garden, as I held him safely in my arms. We took our time and smelt all the flowers and leaves. I put a sprig of lavender and some forget-me-not flowers in his little hand. He is on the cusp of forming words and we chattered away together about the plants and the bird song that filled the space as we pottered around. We found some wind chimes in a tree. He loved it so much, that we went round again. His energy was lighter when we came back in and he carried on chatting away and told his cousins what he had seen. If you hold his hands he walks, otherwise he happily moves around on his bottom in a very fast crawl. He went round telling everyone how he felt, holding up the treasures in his little hand.

The younger ones instinctively know that nature nurtures. ❤

Does it need measuring or labelling?

So many times in life I feel the words ‘Does it need measuring?’ ‘Does that need labelling?’ and I ask that of my clients too. Labelling and measuring put such pressure on things, when they simply are as they are.

It has been pouring with rain a lot this week and one day I was listening to a client pouring his heart out over the phone, because his love did not feel the same way about him. He has been turning himself inside out trying to make it into the picture he yearns for. Right in the middle of his turmoil I glanced out through the rain soaked window and saw a tiny little sailboat, doggedly making her way out to the Irish Sea. The only reason I spotted her through the deluge was due to her primrose yellow sails. I found myself saying to him ‘What if it is what it is? What if you stop trying to measure, label and mould it into something else. What happens if you just let it be?’ The line went quiet for a while and he replied ‘But what am I then Jane?’ ‘You are still you, you are still whole.’ I said softly.

On Sunday I am heading off to walk in The Lake District with a local group that I have found. It’s an area I have always wanted to explore and this lovely bunch of intrepid souls have a coach and travel to the Lake District, Yorkshire Dales, Derbyshire Peaks, Snowdonia and North Wales. Marvellous. I found myself in a well known camping and outdoor gear store this week making sure that I would be suitably clad for these adventures. The young lad who served me has such a lovely, open way with him that I found myself sharing some of my vulnerabilities. Yes, I was able to ask him the question on whether the waterproof jacket would leave me free to walk, yet cover my ample backside, amongst the other concerns I had. We had built up such a rapport by the time we got back to the till, that other customers joined in and shared many things. We all parted by shaking hands and wishing each other well with our endeavours.

Then yesterday while I was doing my grocery shopping, a Mum was pushing a baby in her pram through the veggie section. We paused and I looked at her little one cuddling a bunny tucked under her chin, with her arm around him. I chatted softly to her and she smiled up at me. So peaceful and contented. Her Mum said ‘You know it doesn’t have to be the bunny. Whatever toy I give her as we leave the house, she loves them and looks after them in the same way.’

Holding our loving space….

In my sifting and sorting this week I have re-discovered my Granny’s tea set in a box. I have started to use her cups and I am going to plant her teapot, sugar bowl and jug up with spring plants. I let my Mum (her daughter) know about my discovery and then we went on to talk about family treasures in my space. The embroidered cloths that Mum has passed my way, Granny’s sewing basket that I use nearly every day, the bookcase that my Dad gifted his Mum when he got his first paycheck is with me too, holding my beloved books. Creative treasures that Emily, my daughter, has made over the years are here too, with a set of her paintings alongside a creative table I have put together. Everything in one place and accessible, so that I can create in a spark and not have to hunt for anything, or set anything out. Marvellous.

Each circle in each day brings me back to a calm centre within, where I am held in a loving space.

Sharp winds of change have blown through life lately and I have found peace in this calm centre. It’s not about denial of upset, because as feelings rise up like waves, I acknowledge them and then ‘park’ them. In turning my mind back to the nurture of creativity, and what soothes naturally, the temptation to layer up against the pain doesn’t happen. I flow with accepting that it is how it is.

So many times in my work and life I meet souls layered up and sheltering behind their shields. Sometimes so layered up that they have managed to convince themselves that they don’t need nurture at all. So many painful stories from the past playing out as if they are still happening now.

We are like vessels that fill up and whatever we hold inside gives us the view on how we experience life.

I spend my working days helping others to unpack and gift themselves some room within to breathe and explore new perspectives and options. Recently, a client said ‘I am sorry Jane, I can’t tell you what you have just said, but your voice is so calm I’m falling asleep.’ I burst out laughing, which made him chuckle…laughter and calm in his inner space. ❤

Trust like the trees….


Trees trust, with their roots going deep down into the earth for nourishment, yet they do not live there. Their branches and leaves reach through the air towards the warmth of the sun and the light in the sky. Trees keep on growing, reaching and bursting forth with new life, wherever and whenever they can, no matter what happens to them. Where one is felled, a new one will be growing elsewhere. They are all linked by nature and offer shelter and above all else, hope.

Nature displays such wonderful examples, that I find the inspiration for my writing in her images.

There are some souls in this life that create whirlpools and the movement and spin within gives their life meaning. It makes one wonder if the speed of the spin stops them seeing any other kind of perspective.

Recently, I accepted a pet care/house sit placement for over a month, as they had been let down. Nowadays I only sit for friends, so this was a step into trust on both sides as I did not know the couple involved. I was booked to care for a lovely cat in a home in North Lancashire.

How others choose to live is their choice and given the work I do sitting in judgement on anyone is not my style, so I will try and relate this adventure with kindness. There is a tacit understanding with pet care placements (as money is rarely involved) that loving care, responsibility and common sense are traded for a comfortable home and new surroundings to explore. You can guess what this is leading up to can’t you? I found myself in a whirlpool.

The house was falling apart and every day brought forth new levels of ‘Oh, you are kidding me on???’. Explanations were given (from halfway across the world in Thailand) and there was a ‘story’ behind every happening and the theme of each story was that it was always someone else’s fault. It’s winter here now and each day the temperature dropped, the rain lashed down sometimes turning to hail, and the wind blew. One of the exciting developments was rainwater pouring in through the ceiling and the internet stopping due to non-payment…I will spare you the details of the other ‘happenings’, but most mechanical things in the house were broken and the wind whistled through broken panes of glass and windows. There was little comfort to be found anywhere, but their cat is a sweetheart. Suffice to say, after nearly a week, I called ‘Mum and Dad’ of the home owners, as they lived around the corner and by this stage I needed help. We had a parent to parent discussion and I tried to manfully carry on, with offers of help being drafted in. As the ‘Dad’ commented I was being subjected to a form of wild camping. I stood there at 3am the other morning moving the mattress onto the floor to try and gain a few hours sleep and I paused and thought to myself ‘Jane, what are you doing?’. I sent emails next morning and called ‘Dad’ and asked them to come and pick up the reins, as I was heading home. I received a huge amount of messages on WhatsApp from their daughter. Funnily enough the message theme was it was my fault and how could I inconvenience her life like this and had I expected a hotel? My reply was brief and clear.

Life flows with reality checks and it is up to us to pay attention to them, or not as the case may be. In my experience, if we choose to ignore the reality checks, then they will keep presenting themselves in ever increasing sharpness, till we do pay attention.

Which brings me back to trees and trust. We do not know whether to trust other trees, until we flow with trust and discover which space they are choosing to grow from. They may not always be operating from their best space and only time will show this. We can still trust though.

I have found that I do not have to step into other’s whirlpools, nor align myself with trees that do not nurture growth. It matters, it really does, what we put into the soil around our trees, and which trees we align ourselves with, because from that our branches and leaves will flourish.

Love weaving through stories, vulnerability, heartfullness and authenticity…


Emily made me these butterflies a few years ago and when they go up love is here.

I have just offered a shelf system up against the bathroom room so our landlord can tell if it is level before he fixes it in place. The Victorian wall behind it is undulating to say the least, so is it truly level? Not according to the spirit level, but we have gone by eye and what feels right. We now have a full house and there are three of us girls with bedrooms on the first floor, so thoughtfully our landlord is installing extra shelves in the bathroom. We have other bathroom options in our home, but this bathroom has a huge bath and there is much comfort in our bottles and nurturing lotions nestling together as we share the space.

It’s an authentic bathroom.

I have my inner peace back and am grateful to be reuniting with my authentic self. It has helped me to realise why I lost her in the first place and surprisingly how far back that goes.

We all have vulnerabilities and circumstances that we flow with in our daily lives. To be afraid to acknowledge those vulnerabilities, never mind speak about them to others, is how we protect ourselves. It’s how we manage. Sadly it can lead to a disconnectedness that leads to disharmony and loss of self. Those circumstances can also lead to a definition of self that is not authentic.

I have debt from my marriage and yes, I have reduced it by a considerable amount and managed to live with it, but I have allowed the feelings of failure and ‘pinch’ to define me. All leading to a sense of loss of self. Money is an energy and debt can lead to more debt and it’s a tricky thing to get hold of. It, and I, have tumbled while trying to get to grips with it.

My beautiful daughter has struggled with the breakdown of our family unit and as her Mum, her pain is my pain. She made the decision last year to step away from me in an effort to make sense of how she felt. We have a thin thread of connection, so there is not total silence between us, but grief was born the day of her decision.

I have been doing my best to manage and flow love to both situations, in the ever held hope that balance will be restored.

I threw myself into setting up the workshop where I restored and re-upholstered furniture. Never having done anything like this before I learned as I went, asking for advice, watching clips on the internet and always saying ‘I can have a go at that’ and I did. Whilst doing this I decorated the workshop inside and out and decorated the flat I was renting from a friend. I glance back now and I was running full pelt away from pain. My sense of self as a Mum and a competent business woman had taken a hammering and I was living fueled by loss.

My authentic self was drowned out and into this mix came Paul.

I have always loved nature, people (especially little ones) and animals. I did not go into detail with him on my past, or my vulnerabilities, but I said enough for the manipulation to start. He shared his huge family with me and we all delighted in our new connections. The first time I met his younger daughters we sat at the kitchen table together making cards and amidst the glitter, paint and glue we started to love each other. At family gatherings little grandchildren would potter near us and climb on my lap to play and natter. Older grandchildren would visit so that we could send time together. Paul offered me some time off (with no deadline), so that when I first moved in with him he could be a real partner. He offered rest, recovery, a safe haven and I could choose how I flowed my time. I could potter in the house nesting, or spend time with the animals helping to milk, look after the herd and also I could learn how to lamb. The money that I had coming in could completely go towards debt clearance. He would help me carry the load. I could talk to him about anything, be myself and my defences came tumbling down. Being part of a huge family was a joy for me and my cup runneth over.

He drew me in to be a part of the script of his life and the film was fake.

Now I have worked out the ‘why’ and ‘how’ it happened and I am coming back to my authentic self. There is freedom in telling the story.

To live with an open heart is to show vulnerability, yet I have learned that to have defences is to live in fear. In running from pain I lost touch with my authenticity.

Self awareness is key.

I am aware of my circumstances, yet they do not define me. I can feel my pain, yet I do not live in fear.

In the stillness I am authentic and love is the only voice.

Time to simplify….


I was talking to a friend recently about energies in things that flow through our lives. Sometimes we need to simplify what’s on our plates to create space and right now my life is yelling at me to do just that. The space created will help to nurture peace and I suppose the trick is not to fill it with anything else…we shall see.

I have a new business venture that is gaining momentum, a new home that is in need of much tender, loving care and loved ones that deserve my time without interruption, so, I am taking a break from blogging.

You are all wonderful in your unfailing support and flowing care and I appreciate all the sparkly moments that the last four years have created between us all. Blogging has also helped me to find my writing voice and that is a gift in itself.

I may, or may not, come back to blogging and I feel it’s important not to label or contain this intention in any way. I wish you all much love and happy flow in your lives. Thank you for all your love and know that my love stays with you.