Learning to duck…

One of my buddies in the post office was not at his best the other morning and as we chatted he made a belting comment. Being a man who deals with folk daily, and is also married, he caught my stunned facial expression and knew something had happened.

A look of fear flashed across his face.

His comment had hit a boulder size emotional trigger in me and several things were happening in a split second. You’ll all know that as we gather experience in life there are things we like to work on. My reaction when I have been triggered is one of mine. As a creative, my past responses have explosive, verbal and held the deadly accuracy of an Exocet missile.

In a split second, I clamped my lips shut and breathed through my nostrils. which may have flared and scared him further. Several moments passed and I put my hand over his, smiled and wished him a lovely day, then left.

As I walked home I realised that his comment had touched on past hurt and had no relevance to the here and now. I let it all flow out through my feet and down into the earth below.

It was a few days after that and I was on the front line with a soul who needs to fire arrows and ones which are intentionally tipped with poison. This time (knowing what was coming) I let them bounce off, so I wasn’t even triggered. I closed the conversation down each time and changed the subject.

I am learning how to duck.

Moodling in the circles of life….

This weekend, after two years ‘away’, my tools, personal treasures and creative bits and bobs circle their way back to land in my ‘happy bubble’ home.

I have promised to gift myself time to sift, sort and feel my way with each piece. The old loo at the end of my little hallway is not used and makes a grand storehouse. On deciding what to keep and what to let go of, maybe some new creative sparks will emerge, maybe they won’t. It is what it is in this moment.

There is an ease of acceptance that there is no workshop space to create in, yet there is floor space here that I can use. I am weaving with the wisdom that to let go of old hopes, dreams, ideas and accumulated stuff will create some much needed space for the new to say ‘Hello, what about trying this?’

In the sifting and sorting there may well be sparks of joy from new creativity and hopeful possibilities. That’s the kind of joy that burns away pain, letting the past settle and sending a message into the future on what might be.