Posts Tagged 'patience'

Patience with the tides…..

This morning there was a sailboat heading out to sea. It took him a few hours to come up The Mersey as he battled the incoming tide and strong headwinds. He was under sail and at times his mast was almost parallel with the water. After this went on for at least two hours, a fellow sailboat came into view and with sails down, he was relying on his motor. Needless to say he sailed past the chap who was battling and I don’t need to be a psychic to sense the feelings flying around out there.

Yesterday, I took time out for a creative day and I am grateful for the space this created. I realised that I have ‘hung’ all sorts of expectations on a work situation coming into being and the pressure has got intense to say the least. I was building the pressure. What was I thinking? It will happen in it’s own good time and there is nothing practical I can do right now to move it along. It is as it is.

Today dawned without pressure and it brought a different level of calmness with it. I think a good buddy of mine would call it acceptance.

A few unexpected events dotted through the morning and I simply changed tack and did other things. One brought such simple joy into my day I have to share it. The ‘man of the house’ has put a whirly washing line up and out in the garden my freshly laundered sheets and towels are blowing in the ‘sunshiney’ breeze.

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“There is no past that we can bring back by longing for it. Only a present that builds and creates itself as the past withdraws.”

tapestry of love

This quote is a line that Evelyn (Judi Dench) wisely imparts in the fabulous film ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’. She also says that is it not just about adapting to life in a new environment, but learning to thrive.

I have had the belief, for some years now, that I would eventually settle down with a man who was practical, creative and we would live in the country, renovating an old house, making things (probably furniture) with a motley selection of animals around us.

Pause for hearty laughter as life held a different plan…..

I love a man who is original, creative in thought, business orientated, blessed with endless energy and so driven that he can make things happen by sheer will. He is passionate about youth, how we nurture the next generation and sees ice sport as a good way of achieving this. He is on the committee that have set-up a ‘not for profit’ ice rink and are running it with volunteers. This gives the youth, ice hockey teams and figure skaters somewhere to go whilst the private ice rink site is closed and being re-built. Parents, children and adults were all traveling over an hour to get to the nearest rink, and thanks to this group who remained undaunted, they now have a local facility.

The man I love lives in the middle of a city and I live with him, in a normal thirty year old house on an estate.

The estate is bordered by an ancient wood, enclosed in 1264, and our garden is bordered by trees at the back. There are trees wherever you look, and it is so peaceful here that it is hard to believe that we are minutes away from the city centre. There is a local shopping area, a short walk up the hill, with an independent butcher, baker, greengrocer and chemist. I like to walk up there and buy the bits and pieces we need. There is a playground on the way and I can see us with the baby in our family having fun together when the weather improves…our granddaughter took her first steps this week.

Our home is a wee bit tired and dated and we are blessed with a lovely landlord. Over a few cups of tea, many plans have been made, and the whole house is being completely re-vamped over the next year. My creativity is running amok with ideas on furniture re-finishing and soft furnishings that will bring all the work together. There are huge secondhand warehouses near us and I can see many happy hours being spent discovering furniture down there.

Patience has never been one of my virtues, and I am learning that it takes time to adjust, for the threads we need to weave together to show themselves.

This man and I are blessed with bright threads, love is weaving them together, creating a tapestry where we are both starting to thrive. It is not the tapestry I expected, but I have discovered that a different tapestry holds the good stuff.

Patience…..

I have been tested lately on whether I am learning or have learnt the art of patience and concerned that I may be missing something on this front I looked up the definition – good old Google.

Dictionary definition of patience:

1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.

3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

I have mastered points 2 and 3 but feel I am still mis-firing on number 1. I can bear misfortune and pain without complaint, can usually see beyond ‘annoyance’ to instictively know what is behind it so I don’t rise, so I am falling down on the provocation issue.

When I am provoked on issues that stir up old emotions I go off instantly like a tinder box.

I think the lesson here is to recognise that old ideas, events and emotions have no place in the ‘now’. To pause, breath and not react straight away, that would be actively going for the ‘patience’ goal….Uuhhhmmmm….a work in progress then, because right now the temptation is to remove the source of provocation!


Jane Sturgeon

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Jane Sturgeon Life Therapist

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