Nowadays, it’s all too easy to get overwhelmed and to keep pushing, doing, solving, fixing and hoping that this will balance everything out.
A pause to let things settle; to see what actually needs our attention and what we can just let be, is what we need when overwhelm hits. There are probably some spinning plates that can be left to drop too, if only we get the quiet and space to see that.
One evening this week I dive bombed into the pool for Aqua Zumba and it hit me; I was worn out on all levels. I had missed it building up and as I walked home, I felt weepy.
A dog, taking an evening stroll with her Dad, came alongside me and nudged my leg with her head. I slowed my pace right down to her amble and stroked her head. She kept walking beside me, nudging my leg and looking up.
Her ‘Dad’ laughed and said ‘Anbody would think she was with you.’
I smiled at him and asked her name.
‘Tess’ he smiled back, and with silent empathy he left Tess and I to amble back to the end of my home street together.
Tess and I nattered about the weather, her day and mine, and I carried on stroking her head, as she rubbed against my leg.
Yesterday, blessed with the flexibility of self employment, I was able to drop the reins for a few hours and nap. Then I was clear on what actually required my attention.
Bless Tess and Boris, as I am going to spend the weekend caring for him at his home and bless life’s grace to be with our furry friends, who just know. ❤
The weather has been all over the place lately and we’ve had four seasons in one day on several days. The other morning the sky was so dark we were all braced for a belting storm and then the sky suddenly cleared and it revealed a spectacular biblical display.
Life has been intense for many of us lately and it’s not the easiest thing to manage ourselves in the midst of so much uncertainty. When we tumble we naturally want to reach out for something solid to hold on to. To sit in silence and stillness with uncertainty is scary, yet there is much balance and honesty in that space. Our hearts can be heard as they gently guide us forward.
“If you can fill the unforgiving minute, with sixty seconds worth of distance run…..” Rudyard Kipling
In each moment it is what it is and there are gifts nestled within:
Sharing breakfast with loving friends, as we all laughed and nattered together starting our day.
My thoughtful friend sharing lunch with much laughter and gifting me a patchwork jacket that is so ‘me’ I may wear it every day.
The gift of having a day with my Mum and Dad and bathing in their unconditional love.
Living in this peaceful house and the creative energy of my happy bubble flat. We were all together downstairs in the main kitchen the other evening and my landlady Christine was cooking their evening meal, her partner Brendan was tidying up, Nancy her Mum was grating cheese at the table and I was gathering my laundry from the washing machine. Nancy weaves with deepening dementia and there is much loving gentleness as she is held in safety here. Christine ran into technical difficulties with the pasta and the whole flipping lot stuck together. Dripping on a spoon, she held it up in dismay and Brendan commented (from a safe distance) ‘I can’t believe you’ve done that, you’re sacked!’ There was silence for a few seconds and into the quiet I said ‘One, two, three women with one man. We can take him girls.’ Christine and Brendan started to laugh and I looked across at Nancy and she fixed her twinkling eyes on me and said ‘Easily.’ More laughter……
It has been three weeks since I moved my ‘berth’ and here I sit in the home I share with Lynn, at a beautiful desk she has diddled up and kindly gifted for my use. I have placed it in my bedroom window, looking out at the fisherman’s cottages opposite and the green where the old ballroom and tower used to be.
Lynn and I agree that there is a special light in this house and that is one of the reasons she bought it. It pours into my bedroom and little sitting room on the first floor and as the day flows it fills the kitchen and then the bathroom at sunset. My working days are filled with light and then it’s in the kitchen as I prepare my evening meal and then the bathroom as I lie in the bath watching the sunset sparkle off the muslin curtains.
I sit working watching dogs, people and children playing on the green and in the playground. There is an ageing German Shepherd and he and his Dad always pause in their gentle amble and sit on the fence watching the others play. A streak of a Border Collie has his ball on a rope and flies up the slope spinning it in his mouth and there is joy in every hair on his body. Friends and neighbours pause and have a catch-up natter and I can hear their voices and laughter through my open window. The trees on the crest of the green draw a line between the grass and sky and my days are filled with birdsong, as the clouds flow through.
The Mersey joins the Irish Sea at the bottom of our road and the view never ceases to delight as I walk out and there is the Belfast to Birkenhead, Liverpool to Dublin or Isle of Man ferries, container ships and huge vessels heading for Manchester down the Manchester Ship Canal all gliding past. When the tide is out the beach has life on it with toddlers building sandcastles, dogs leaping across the sand, people walking in the fresh air and tug boats and pleasure boats on the water.
Our home has visitors from all over the world popping in now and then and Lynn and I share visiting friends and food, and yet we have our own space to simply be. There are Lynn’s lovely decorative touches in all the rooms, my beloved pieces around me and a loving peace that makes this a sanctuary.
My work is settled and flowing, because I am settled and flowing. Creating new vegan foodie dishes (with varying degrees of success) and starting to make handmade creative items again. Writing is naturally springing forth and I have a new magazine article to complete and several pieces to do for the writing groups.
The roots that started to go down as soon as I arrived in this special part of The Wirral in January are flexing and getting stronger. My days have a simplicity and sparkle that is healing and I am so grateful. A dear friend messaged and asked how I was this week and enquired as to my latest project. ‘Nothing’ was my reply, ‘I am simply being and loving it’.
We don’t feel quite right, our emotions are unsettled and our balance is just slightly out of whack, but we’re not necessarily sure why. Things aren’t flowing, our daily routines are a bit ‘scattergunned’, we go upstairs and can’t remember what we went up there for (I refuse to accept this as a sign of aging) or we feel that we simply have too many things to do or there are just too many demands on us right now.
Try finding some time in your day to be silent and if you can’t find that then change your routine a little bit. Walk outside without earphones in, turn the telly off, turn the radio off, if you are doing something you love turn your mobile off, turn your phone off. Will the world stop turning if you are unavailable for five minutes?
Silence is nurturing for within that peace we can settle and the ocean of our emotions finds a calmness that we lose in all the activity that fills our days.
If within the silence you find yourself having thoughts that unsettle you, then acknowledge them (so they don’t get buried) then let them go, for your own good, just let them go. Trust that all is exactly as it should be right now and enjoy the silence for a few minutes.
Within silence there is peace.