Connecting…

When I was working on the psychic line I received a telephone call that found it’s way into my heart memories and I discovered it there recently.

The lady who called was terminally ill and started the call with,

“I don’t have any questions as such, I just wanted to ring.”

In that instant, I dropped every label/shield that I was holding, as I instinctively knew she had no expectations. I wasn’t a medium, psychic, woman, mother, or anything else. I was simply one soul connecting to another.

We talked about fresh washing hanging out on the line, the sound of children’s laughter, wrapping in soft towels after a bath, birdsong at dawn, a large amount of rubbish on the telly (even though there are umpteen channels), the wisdom of avoiding the news, knitting, an absorbing play on the radio, a clean kitchen floor and the grace of expression through writing.

I shared with her a story of being out shopping with friends and two of us squealing with delight when we saw a new range of notebooks. One (somewhat pithy) member of our group commented,

“Surely one notebook is enough?”

“One? I don’t understand the question.” I replied.

We giggled over the pure joy of finding a notebook with a great cover and found ourselves agreeing that writing with heart and our own voice gifts connection. Sitting quietly she had found herself imagining stories for children and we ended our call with her intention to write them down.

Chop wood and carry water….

Pause and repeat; there were more gladioli at the supermarket, in a bucket without water, and they found their way home with me. As they revived and opened, these glorious blooms have brought beautiful hope into each room.

A lovely friend and I discovered that we have been saying the same phrase recently; ‘Chop wood and carry water’. ❤ Valerie.

Each day we flow with our daily round and do what needs to be done. Amidst it all, instinctive wisdom has had space to float up and I am grateful for that. Knitting helps; as my hands are busy, I can hear my inner self in the silence.

A monthly craft stall is arranged for the creativity that is pouring forth from my hands. When did we get so busy that doing the things that come naturally, that love and nurture us, became relegated to a hobby?

The flyers for my cleaning care project are at the printers.

Each day I chop wood and carry water, yet the stirrings of the 'new' are there as they take shape. Naturally making themselves heard, without judgment, as I learn to cease judging myself. Loving care and support from beloved connections flows daily.

I feel that if we try and hold on to anything that does not balance for us; ways, people, patterns, roles, thoughts, actions, judgment and labels….we tear.

On a light note; when I talked to a friend about my cleaning care project, her immediate response had us creased with laughter.

'I always knew you were a scrubber.'

A day’s freshness…

Tip toeing through the stillness of the house, I observed the sunrise from our ‘garden in the sky’.

Unplanned this weekend, my lovely young neighbour (who lives on the same floor as me) and I sat on a shared blanket outside on the flat roof and knitted together. She is gracefully flowing through on some life changes, as am I, and our conversation weaved in and out with the yarns we were using. At one stage she looked at me and said:

‘Gosh, look how my scarf is growing as we talk. While my hands are busy, my thoughts are coming out whole.’

We shared ideas and plans and after we’d both finished work yesterday, we carried on as she tested out my new sofa arrangement. I am sure our gentle murmurings and shared laughter drifted downstairs.

I did something on Saturday night that put a foot back in the past temporarily and that called for loving dollops of self forgiveness. Then yesterday I wrapped my addled brain around the GDPR implementations (European data privacy) needed for my blog and web site and researched a new software platform for my work. All flowing changes and also, sparks for memories of things and connections that have been tried and left in the past.

Us girls talked about how we are coping with our changes, how things are unfolding and we both become aware of something that underpinned all we were sharing. We change our clothes every day, yet the cloak of emotions we carry can stay the same.

We both let a little fresh air into our cloaks this weekend and I feel lighter this morning. ❤

A Wholehearted ‘Thank You’….

Aug ’18 Update: I have removed my videos from YouTube.

My wholehearted ‘Thanks’ to you all. The helpful advice, different perspectives and loving encouragement on my new project has wrapped me in love.

I made the decision not to re-do the earlier videos and have rolled forward with a new one, hopefully, incorporating all your loving advice.

It’s a work in progress, but the start and then your loving support has given me the momentum to continue and for that I am deeply grateful.

I will flow back into blogging in my usual style from now on, with a deeper appreciation for all of you. ❤

Loving connections…

A lovely friend and I sat on a farmhouse balcony and shared afternoon tea today and this was our view.

I attended a routine hospital appointment this afternoon and she insisted on giving me a lift. The phone call with that offer was hilarious, as I initially resisted her kind suggestion. Why do we do that ‘No, it’s alright I can manage’ thing when anyone tries to be kind! It’s nuts. Anyway, mid conversation, as I was resisting, this was her deciding line:

‘Please do not deprive me of your company. I have missed you and it will be lovely to have a catch-up and I need to go there anyway to check on where things are when I have my appointment next month.’

I responded with ‘That is the most sophisticated emotional blackmail I have heard for some time.’

Much laughter followed, which set the theme for this afternoon.

We drove straight there, parked with ease, found the required hospital section and I was called in right away. Marvellous.

Then we walked out and turned left instead of right, talking nineteen to the dozen and completely oblivious to our error. As we walked out of the exit door we faced a car park we didn’t recognise.

‘This isn’t car park G’ my lovely friend said.

‘I am deeply impressed that you remember which ‘letter’ car park we are in’ I replied.

Several corridors, exits and different car park views later, we admitted we were lost. Various staff members were unable to help us either.

It was a comedy of errors and finally (and I do mean some time later) another nurse tried to help us. Suddenly I recalled that I had tucked the hospital letter and a map into my handbag. It is a testimony to my friend’s love, that she didn’t clock me one as I produced it.

We found our way and left two nurses shaking their heads at us, thinking goodness knows what, as we went to the farmhouse nearby and had afternoon tea to recover.

As we sat nattering on the balcony, looking out at the view, we both agreed that the love and understanding that our group share (there are a few of us) is a gift, liberally sprinkled with shared laughter. ❤

Tumbling ….

The weather has been all over the place lately and we’ve had four seasons in one day on several days. The other morning the sky was so dark we were all braced for a belting storm and then the sky suddenly cleared and it revealed a spectacular biblical display.

Life has been intense for many of us lately and it’s not the easiest thing to manage ourselves in the midst of so much uncertainty. When we tumble we naturally want to reach out for something solid to hold on to. To sit in silence and stillness with uncertainty is scary, yet there is much balance and honesty in that space. Our hearts can be heard as they gently guide us forward.

“If you can fill the unforgiving minute, with sixty seconds worth of distance run…..” Rudyard Kipling

In each moment it is what it is and there are gifts nestled within:

Sharing breakfast with loving friends, as we all laughed and nattered together starting our day.

My thoughtful friend sharing lunch with much laughter and gifting me a patchwork jacket that is so ‘me’ I may wear it every day.

The gift of having a day with my Mum and Dad and bathing in their unconditional love.

Living in this peaceful house and the creative energy of my happy bubble flat. We were all together downstairs in the main kitchen the other evening and my landlady Christine was cooking their evening meal, her partner Brendan was tidying up, Nancy her Mum was grating cheese at the table and I was gathering my laundry from the washing machine. Nancy weaves with deepening dementia and there is much loving gentleness as she is held in safety here. Christine ran into technical difficulties with the pasta and the whole flipping lot stuck together. Dripping on a spoon, she held it up in dismay and Brendan commented (from a safe distance) ‘I can’t believe you’ve done that, you’re sacked!’ There was silence for a few seconds and into the quiet I said ‘One, two, three women with one man. We can take him girls.’ Christine and Brendan started to laugh and I looked across at Nancy and she fixed her twinkling eyes on me and said ‘Easily.’ More laughter……