David and I took to the ice yesterday for our first skating lesson with much laughter, wobbling and some progress as confidence grew thanks to our lovely, patient coach. There was a special moment where we glided together and wrapped our arms gratefully around each other and my heart took a picture that will stay with me always.
Emily commented the other day that she was grateful for the good that David was bringing into our lives and I can only echo that heartfelt thought.
My life so far has been interesting with many adventures and hopefully, with many more to come. Gratitude for the sparkle I have managed to find in the darkest moments, and my eternal optimism, have carried me through to this point. I had become so used to a feeling I have carried for many years now, that it has taken me a while to realise that it has gone, completely disappeared.
In all our ‘busyness’ we were dashing about yesterday working down at the ice rink and stocking up the coffee shop. With a car full of muffins and hot chocolate goodies we broke down, right at the entrance to a very hectic roundabout, as our gearbox gave up the ghost. Now being a calm soul David managed to get us out of the traffic and away to safety on the grass verge, where we tucked up waiting for the rescue truck…bless his foresight in having breakdown cover. We nattered and took the time to make new plans. Our lovely ‘daughter-in-law’ drove past and stopped to see if we needed help too. The sight of our peaceful little granddaughter, with her new flowery shoes, fast asleep in the back of the car was a treat. In time we were duly rescued, delivered back home, our poorly car dropped onto the driveway, and thanks to a local taxi firm, we got the coffee shop re-stocked. Then we found a local restaurant where we tucked up in the warm to finally have a hot lunch at 4pm. As we waited for our food, we curled up together and I made my discovery.
Many, many years of being on the front line, of battling, worries hidden and of holding faith that all was well, hid a gnawing, and at times, almost overwhelming anxiety. It had become my background music. I looked at David yesterday and listened to his words about how we’ll sort the car. My heart heard my team mate, my life buddy and the man who has my back covered. As I have his.
The anxiety has completely gone.
Thank you my love, for the many gifts that you have brought into my life and for the new background music that has lightened my world more than you could know.