Posts Tagged 'trust'

Nature’s nurture…

Image from Pixabay

Boris came to stay for a few days this week, which was a lovely surprise. He reminded me of the joy of walking outside, listening to the birds and watching Spring come forth. People smile more readily at each other in the sunshine and I have soothed myself with the promise of a walk each day.

I took Boris home yesterday and stayed for a happy seven year old’s birthday celebrations. We were able to play outside and the birthday boy asked for flowers for his birthday. He wanted to know the names of plants in the garden and has also taken to climbing trees. He has the security of knowing that his cries for ‘Help’ will be heard and rescue forthcoming. The boys are now seven and five and their baby cousin is sixteen months old. The three boys sat on a blanket on the grass and chatted together and we sat and watched them and caught up on each other’s news. There is a wonderful freedom for children when they are outside.

A day full of magic moments. ❤

The little one was fractious after lunch and I asked to take him out for some fresh air. I walked us around the garden, as I held him safely in my arms. We took our time and smelt all the flowers and leaves. I put a sprig of lavender and some forget-me-not flowers in his little hand. He is on the cusp of forming words and we chattered away together about the plants and the bird song that filled the space as we pottered around. We found some wind chimes in a tree. He loved it so much, that we went round again. His energy was lighter when we came back in and he carried on chatting away and told his cousins what he had seen. If you hold his hands he walks, otherwise he happily moves around on his bottom in a very fast crawl. He went round telling everyone how he felt, holding up the treasures in his little hand.

The younger ones instinctively know that nature nurtures. ❤

Showing up….

A few weeks ago I had a message through LinkedIn from a company in The States that had produced an application. They felt I could work through it and the pairing would be a mutually compatible one. The only hitch was it only ran on Apple technology and I am completely Microsoft and Android based. I researched the company and the app. and took the plunge and organised an iPad and connection through my mobile provider. Nothing ventured I thought, hopefully.

I gave the app. a run for it’s money and quickly discovered that it was not conducive to my way of working. The company and I mutually agreed to part company.

Mmmm, I now had an iPad.

Inspiration flowed in and I ran with the thought of making videos and posting them on YouTube. Gathering my courage, and wrapping my brain around the technology, I set to work and here you have the initial results. It’s interesting, because I still have a lot to learn about camera angles and all that good stuff. Thumbnail pictures on which frame your video freezes on (still working on that one) and the hilarious aspect of presenting myself. A buddy and I were in stiches on the phone this afternoon, as I described my antics at this end. Here’s a few of the brief highlights:

‘I have tested most areas in my apartment for the best light and daylight is best. It highlights every crease and wrinkle though.’

‘Did you know my facial expression when I swear is comic?’

‘I was wearing a scarf around my neck to start off with (to hide the crepe effect) and I looked as if I was cutting my head off. I ditched the scarf.’

‘I threw the scripts away and just talked, but it’s at an angle. Do you think people will notice?’

So, it is with a deep breath, hopeful courage, the opportunity to master the techniques as I go and love, that I hit the publish button.

Let this new chapter commence…. ❤

Weaving with love…

A lovely soul posted a video up on YouTube showing how to knit these hearts. I have not seen a pattern like it and for eight rows it’s a mess of strands till they are pulled together in the ninth row and then by the tenth it’s magic as a heart appears. I am hooked and making a wrap for someone I love. I also have other creative plans using these hearts. The kind lady who made the video and I have been in touch and I guess it’s no surprise that our messages are showered with little heart symbols. ❤ This knitting is going everywhere with me, because it's such a joy to do and I love the yarn which is called 'Northern Lights'.

A young lass called this week as she was heartbroken over a relationship that had ended. She felt stuck, with her feelings and emotions ranging through the whole spectrum each day. She was also exhausted. My guides and I wrapped her in love and started to talk gently. Sometimes a loving connection is not balanced. One of the partnership have a need for comfort, distraction, company, care; all manner of things. The other partner steps forward with loving nurture and a deep hope that one day this will bring it all into balance. This may not happen and in time the in-balance breaks the connection. It doesn't diminish the love that flowed and it all has purpose.

There is no blame. Both partners are running to inner scripts and these may not be compatible.

We flowed through with helpful care for her on how to release her layered feelings and emotions. In a private way, because turning back to the partner and trying to get the two scripts to run together, only adds to the pain and confusion.

The answers lie within ourselves and it's a time of self nurture and loving care as an ease is found.

Life is messy and each day we choose which strands we are going to pick up and weave with. May your strands be filled with love, contentment and colour. ❤

Sparks in the gloom…

Life has flowed with a few challenges lately and I've been left gasping for air at times.

I lay there in the middle of one sleepless night and simply did not know what to do to soothe myself. My wisdom said 'Stay still and do nothing.' Then I sensed a lovely dog in spirit on the bed beside me and felt my Gran and her Mum, my Great Gran, close by my side. A feeling of calm settled in and I could let the feelings I had be, just as they were. Breathing in the experiences, breathing out the feelings.

I needed unconditional love, so the next day I asked my heart family if I could borrow their lovely boy, Boris, the German Shepherd. 'Absolutely' was their swift reply and he's coming to stay with me for a week after Easter. ❤

That sparked another idea and I ordered insurance, new wellies and some marketing postcards. Say 'Hello' to Jane's Dog Walking Service. My old flowery wellies have done two years sterling work, so I took my new ones out at lunchtime today and christened them in the sea. I also found some more sea glass and treasure to add to my collection.

My heritage is rich with hand crafts, so it is no surprise that I turn to that for comfort again and again. My lovely buddy Pam and I set off on Friday to a local art gallery, as they were running a Creative Think Tank, with taster sessions on all sorts of crafts being showcased. I had it in my head that I would finally get to have a go at wood carving, which has been a long held dream, and willow basket weaving. You just know this didn’t go to plan don’t you? We had a great time and saw all sorts of wonderful things, while discovering that the basket weaving and wood carving courses were out of our financial reach right now. Then the unexpected happened. I had made a connection with one of the receptionists when we arrived and he was looking after everyone by keeping the whole event flowing. Pam was absorbed trying out a Viking weaving loom and having a great time. I glanced up and Mark came over and said ‘There’s more going on in other rooms Jane, can I show you?’ So off we went and I found myself at a table where a lovely lady was demonstrating rug making with re-cycled materials. I took a seat and Alison let me have a go weaving strips of old t-shirts into hessian and I was right there, in the moment. She showed me what materials to try and what to back the rugs with. The edging stitch that holds it all together is new to me, but my Granny said in my head ‘I can show you that Jane’. I’d discovered a new joy. As I sat at home later, knitting, my creative sparks started to fly. I have been a painter since I can remember when and for the last few years it has stopped ‘talking’ to me. With the rug making I can chalk and ink my design on the hessian and by hooking in re-cycled materials, there is more leeway. It doesn’t have to be precise and as the freedom of this sunk in, well I am sure my heart singing could be heard far and wide.

It’s been dark and raining like ‘billy-ho’ today and then just as I finished my new wellie walk, the sky brightened and the clouds looked as if they had been brushed on the blue.

Instinct and timing….

The Lakes are stunning and yesterday unfolded in many unexpected ways.

The coach was an hour and half late in picking us up at the start point and a regular driver left his warm bed to stand in for a colleague that had got confused with his rota. I feel this threw a lot of our group off kilter.

The scenery is breath-taking and with a light dusting of snow everywhere, it had a magical quality about it.

I chose a gentle walk and there were fourteen of us who set off on this one. The rest of our group split up into other groups ranging from those with the highest summits in view, to those who ambled about the shops and had a roast lunch in their sights. It stayed below freezing all day and we negotiated frozen puddles and went past frozen waterfalls, as it snowed on and off. The wind chill was a lot lower than freezing, but we were all togged up and stayed warm, as long as we kept moving.

About halfway up the first hill ascent a voice came into my head saying ‘Double back and find the shoppers and a hot lunch Jane’. I ignored the voice, telling myself that I had set out to walk and walk I would. I asked our walk leader how much further we were going to climb and he replied ‘Just five more minutes Jane’.

Half an hour later we crested the top of the peak and I took the photograph above. As Lake Windermere appeared as a large puddle in the distance I surmised that we had climbed more than the promised 600ft. My fellow walkers confirmed it was at least double that.

Our group started to ask our leader how many more ‘ascents’ there were on the walk. We were promised just one and it was about half what we had just accomplished. For those that know me well I do try and come at things in a light way. Within minutes we were facing another steep accent. I asked what this was called and he replied ‘It’s an undulation Jane’. ‘I would call this a hill.’ I assured him. Undulation my backside, that was as steep as anything we had previously faced and whilst climbing it I twisted a muscle in my groin. The pain was instant and increased with each further step.

I felt that our leader’s interpretation of time, height and terminology was different from mine and some of the other group members. I took a deep breath and caught up with him and let him talk. It turns out that he used to lead groups of teenagers on the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award Scheme. All started to become clearer and I explained that I was injured and needed to know exactly what was ahead of us in time, ascent and scale of difficulty. He was unclear on details and explained that as a Yorkshireman, unless he had a limb hanging off, his Mum had always told him to get on with it. I replied that I rarely made a fuss and needed the facts, so that rather than being jollied along, at 58 years old I could make my own decisions. I know my limits and I was in trouble. Also, the last thing I wanted to do was hold the group up, because each time we paused we all got chilled instantly.

It is one of nature’s laws that water rests at the lowest point, so as we rounded the lee of the summit we were on, this view of Grasmere was before us.

It became apparent that we were headed to the water down below and then climbing the next hill to follow the track along. A few of us asked if the track we were headed for was on a level and we were assured it was. It wasn’t. Having managed to go down and back up again I stood at the bottom of yet another ascent on the track, which was rocky, icy and treacherous. My courage dipped. My left leg was screaming in pain and with tears in my eyes I looked up at our leader and asked if this was the last ascent, because I wanted to turn back to the main road down below. He assured me it was and crab-like I made my way up. At this point another one of our group lost the plot. She openly accused him of lying and started to verbally rant as she walked. I focussed on putting one foot in front of the other and thought ‘Think Jane’. No irony there at all.

He paused to wait for me and I had an idea. ‘Can I look at your map please?’ He happily showed me the map and I made a decision. ‘Please show me exactly where we are?’ He did. ‘That track ahead will take me back to the main road and that is where I am heading. I will find my way back to the town from there.’ I left no room for him to disagree. ‘What is the name of the car park that the coach is parked in?’ I asked. He didn’t know and started to bluff and bluster on directions. Our verbally venting group member then slipped in ‘loopy bananas’ mode at speed and opted to come with me. He offered me his mobile number, but I took the number of another long standing group member instead.

We walked down to the main road and I gently reassured her that she could trust me and I would get us back. As we got to the bottom there was a space carved out of the stone wall and several people were standing nearby. ‘I bet that’s a bus stop’ I said ‘and there must be a bus due’. We checked the route on the notice board and sure enough a few minutes later a bus turned up heading through Ambleside. It went slightly awry at this point, because the bus driver was not local and he thought he knew where our coach was, but it turned out that he didn’t. About half an hour later, there we were two women not at their best, deposited at an unknown bus stop and still not near our coach. Ambleside is layered up a hill with a one way system. My colleague was still venting verbally, as I am sure this was the only thing keeping her going through her frightened state. I gently reassured her and said ‘Walk with me, I promise I will get us back to the coach.’ I remembered the road number from the leader’s map and a sign had flashed by on the bus, so we headed for that. Turning left at the sign we walked down the road and as we reached the bottom nothing appeared familiar. I saw a couple walking with their dog and baby and I asked them. Fortunately, among all the tourists and walkers there that day, they were local. I described how the car park had looked to the ‘Dad’ and amidst all the noise of my colleague sounding off, his eyes locked onto mine and he gave me directions. We set off again and it was at this point that I lied. ‘I can see the coach.’ I told her and I kept saying it. As we finally went down a little lane, what I was saying became true. We changed out of our muddy boots and boarded the coach.

As the rest of the group started to come back on board and asked after us I said the same thing, again and again. ‘I have met some lovely people today and The Lakes are as beautiful as I had hoped. Unfortunately, I chose a walk that was beyond my capabilities.’ My colleague seated a good few rows behind me was still sounding off loudly with a different perspective.

I will return to The Lakes, just in a different way next time.

Loving connections…

A lovely friend and I sat on a farmhouse balcony and shared afternoon tea today and this was our view.

I attended a routine hospital appointment this afternoon and she insisted on giving me a lift. The phone call with that offer was hilarious, as I initially resisted her kind suggestion. Why do we do that ‘No, it’s alright I can manage’ thing when anyone tries to be kind! It’s nuts. Anyway, mid conversation, as I was resisting, this was her deciding line:

‘Please do not deprive me of your company. I have missed you and it will be lovely to have a catch-up and I need to go there anyway to check on where things are when I have my appointment next month.’

I responded with ‘That is the most sophisticated emotional blackmail I have heard for some time.’

Much laughter followed, which set the theme for this afternoon.

We drove straight there, parked with ease, found the required hospital section and I was called in right away. Marvellous.

Then we walked out and turned left instead of right, talking nineteen to the dozen and completely oblivious to our error. As we walked out of the exit door we faced a car park we didn’t recognise.

‘This isn’t car park G’ my lovely friend said.

‘I am deeply impressed that you remember which ‘letter’ car park we are in’ I replied.

Several corridors, exits and different car park views later, we admitted we were lost. Various staff members were unable to help us either.

It was a comedy of errors and finally (and I do mean some time later) another nurse tried to help us. Suddenly I recalled that I had tucked the hospital letter and a map into my handbag. It is a testimony to my friend’s love, that she didn’t clock me one as I produced it.

We found our way and left two nurses shaking their heads at us, thinking goodness knows what, as we went to the farmhouse nearby and had afternoon tea to recover.

As we sat nattering on the balcony, looking out at the view, we both agreed that the love and understanding that our group share (there are a few of us) is a gift, liberally sprinkled with shared laughter. ❤

In the here and now….

Today the electrician is busy in the lovely home we all share and as he stood on top of a ladder in my hallway this conversation flowed:

‘Where is the switch for this light?’ he asked as he checked the wiring.

‘It’s not in my home space’ I replied ‘it is linked to the light on the back landing hallway, so when that light goes on this one comes on too. I have no control over it.’

Is the switching system going to be changed? No. It is what it is. If the light comes on at odd times, I simply close the door between my hallway and front room and it doesn’t disturb me.

I choose my light, dark, sparkles and shade.

Everyone makes these choices, every single second of every single day. It is how we bear witness to the here and now. It is what it is.

A client got very uptight last week when I likened us to sponges. We are what we soak up in life and when squeezed that is what will come out. If we take up mucky water, then as sure as night follows day, mucky water will flow forth from us.

Life is light, dark, sparkles and shade; all evidence of duality that flows constantly.

In the dark lurks emotional pain, hurt, anger, sadness, bitterness, fear and disappointment and all of these can be eased by love.

❤ grows in light.

In the here and now we choose what we soak up and send forth to others.


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