Posts Tagged 'trust'

Loving connections…

A lovely friend and I sat on a farmhouse balcony and shared afternoon tea today and this was our view.

I attended a routine hospital appointment this afternoon and she insisted on giving me a lift. The phone call with that offer was hilarious, as I initially resisted her kind suggestion. Why do we do that ‘No, it’s alright I can manage’ thing when anyone tries to be kind! It’s nuts. Anyway, mid conversation, as I was resisting, this was her deciding line:

‘Please do not deprive me of your company. I have missed you and it will be lovely to have a catch-up and I need to go there anyway to check on where things are when I have my appointment next month.’

I responded with ‘That is the most sophisticated emotional blackmail I have heard for some time.’

Much laughter followed, which set the theme for this afternoon.

We drove straight there, parked with ease, found the required hospital section and I was called in right away. Marvellous.

Then we walked out and turned left instead of right, talking nineteen to the dozen and completely oblivious to our error. As we walked out of the exit door we faced a car park we didn’t recognise.

‘This isn’t car park G’ my lovely friend said.

‘I am deeply impressed that you remember which ‘letter’ car park we are in’ I replied.

Several corridors, exits and different car park views later, we admitted we were lost. Various staff members were unable to help us either.

It was a comedy of errors and finally (and I do mean some time later) another nurse tried to help us. Suddenly I recalled that I had tucked the hospital letter and a map into my handbag. It is a testimony to my friend’s love, that she didn’t clock me one as I produced it.

We found our way and left two nurses shaking their heads at us, thinking goodness knows what, as we went to the farmhouse nearby and had afternoon tea to recover.

As we sat nattering on the balcony, looking out at the view, we both agreed that the love and understanding that our group share (there are a few of us) is a gift, liberally sprinkled with shared laughter. ❤

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In the here and now….

Today the electrician is busy in the lovely home we all share and as he stood on top of a ladder in my hallway this conversation flowed:

‘Where is the switch for this light?’ he asked as he checked the wiring.

‘It’s not in my home space’ I replied ‘it is linked to the light on the back landing hallway, so when that light goes on this one comes on too. I have no control over it.’

Is the switching system going to be changed? No. It is what it is. If the light comes on at odd times, I simply close the door between my hallway and front room and it doesn’t disturb me.

I choose my light, dark, sparkles and shade.

Everyone makes these choices, every single second of every single day. It is how we bear witness to the here and now. It is what it is.

A client got very uptight last week when I likened us to sponges. We are what we soak up in life and when squeezed that is what will come out. If we take up mucky water, then as sure as night follows day, mucky water will flow forth from us.

Life is light, dark, sparkles and shade; all evidence of duality that flows constantly.

In the dark lurks emotional pain, hurt, anger, sadness, bitterness, fear and disappointment and all of these can be eased by love.

❤ grows in light.

In the here and now we choose what we soak up and send forth to others.

Love…..

Over the weekend our exploring took us to a sailing club on the North West coast where the River Alt greets the Irish Sea. We sat on a bench watching nature, listening to the ‘pip’ of the Sandpipers and the cries of the gulls as the wind blew in fresh peace. Memories of my childhood holidays in Blakeney, Norfolk floated up and Georgie talked about his special lifelong friend who sails from this club. Loving memories shared with a deep gratitude for this time we have together in the here and now.

Balance felt as I gift myself time to sit and create with space for ideas to flow.

A friend and I nattering on the phone. Agreeing that it is much nicer than a text, as we can ‘hear’ each other, along with our shared laughter.

Starting a Facebook group to share my creativity and each message coming in is flowing with hearts, kisses and support. Discovering some little heart tags, covered with tiny rosebuds, that I can use to send my creations out into the world.

Sitting here sharing my written thoughts with a gifted mini minature rose beside me, in a dragonfly mug Georgie and I found. Memories for him as he fished on a beautiful Irish river bank and watched nature’s wondorous display. Memories for us as we sat in stillness and watched the dragonflies over the water lilies in Ness Gardens. The electric blue dragonflies fly in pairs.

Each uplifting moment is created from the infinite source of love.

Gifts of grace…..

A sky of milky glass as the tide arrives with a respectful hush and in silence life flows with shafts of sparkling light.

Deep gratitude felt for stillness and the graceful gift of vulnerability, as light shining through the cracks creates space for creativty and change.

“Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops – at all” Emily Dickinson

Tumbling ….

The weather has been all over the place lately and we’ve had four seasons in one day on several days. The other morning the sky was so dark we were all braced for a belting storm and then the sky suddenly cleared and it revealed a spectacular biblical display.

Life has been intense for many of us lately and it’s not the easiest thing to manage ourselves in the midst of so much uncertainty. When we tumble we naturally want to reach out for something solid to hold on to. To sit in silence and stillness with uncertainty is scary, yet there is much balance and honesty in that space. Our hearts can be heard as they gently guide us forward.

“If you can fill the unforgiving minute, with sixty seconds worth of distance run…..” Rudyard Kipling

In each moment it is what it is and there are gifts nestled within:

Sharing breakfast with loving friends, as we all laughed and nattered together starting our day.

My thoughtful friend sharing lunch with much laughter and gifting me a patchwork jacket that is so ‘me’ I may wear it every day.

The gift of having a day with my Mum and Dad and bathing in their unconditional love.

Living in this peaceful house and the creative energy of my happy bubble flat. We were all together downstairs in the main kitchen the other evening and my landlady Christine was cooking their evening meal, her partner Brendan was tidying up, Nancy her Mum was grating cheese at the table and I was gathering my laundry from the washing machine. Nancy weaves with deepening dementia and there is much loving gentleness as she is held in safety here. Christine ran into technical difficulties with the pasta and the whole flipping lot stuck together. Dripping on a spoon, she held it up in dismay and Brendan commented (from a safe distance) ‘I can’t believe you’ve done that, you’re sacked!’ There was silence for a few seconds and into the quiet I said ‘One, two, three women with one man. We can take him girls.’ Christine and Brendan started to laugh and I looked across at Nancy and she fixed her twinkling eyes on me and said ‘Easily.’ More laughter……

Sparks of love….

Returning home to a pretty tea cup of blackberry preserve nestling in my fridge, full of flowing kindess from our landlady.

My loving man patiently waiting for me to run out of steam as I flew off at a tangent, then with ‘twinkly’ eyes saying ‘I have a joke for you’.

Winding balls of wool with my landlady's Mum, who has joined us in this special place, as we reminise about the days when our children were little and all the different things we have made over the years.

Thoughtful friends with a spare ticket to a play that was being streamed live into our local cinema messaging to say ‘Do you fancy coming along Jane and we’re all getting together to eat beforehand?’

Bumping into a friend who shares our special home at the local supermarket and being invited along to join her storytelling and yoga sessions.

On Skype each working day ‘sailing’ together with my lovely buddy as we share thoughts, giggles and our virtual kettle.

Sitting creating the special fingerless gloves with woven coloured strands from a kit that a special lass sent me from Yorkshire, just as she is writing to get in touch.

Messages flowing between my Mum and I, often reaching out to each other at the same moment.

So many sparks of love sprinkled through the days. You bet there’s other stuff going on with challenges to be sorted through, but as I sit here I choose the sparks. Ever grateful for the love. ❤

Patience with the tides…..

This morning there was a sailboat heading out to sea. It took him a few hours to come up The Mersey as he battled the incoming tide and strong headwinds. He was under sail and at times his mast was almost parallel with the water. After this went on for at least two hours, a fellow sailboat came into view and with sails down, he was relying on his motor. Needless to say he sailed past the chap who was battling and I don’t need to be a psychic to sense the feelings flying around out there.

Yesterday, I took time out for a creative day and I am grateful for the space this created. I realised that I have ‘hung’ all sorts of expectations on a work situation coming into being and the pressure has got intense to say the least. I was building the pressure. What was I thinking? It will happen in it’s own good time and there is nothing practical I can do right now to move it along. It is as it is.

Today dawned without pressure and it brought a different level of calmness with it. I think a good buddy of mine would call it acceptance.

A few unexpected events dotted through the morning and I simply changed tack and did other things. One brought such simple joy into my day I have to share it. The ‘man of the house’ has put a whirly washing line up and out in the garden my freshly laundered sheets and towels are blowing in the ‘sunshiney’ breeze.


Jane Sturgeon

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